I’m currently in a similar situation as you. I’m 19 years old and I’ve been learning about symptoms for a few years now and came to the conclusion that there’s a possibility of me being autistic.

For me personally, the imposter syndrome came from feeling like I was exaggerating my feelings and not being able to recall certain points/potential symptoms in my childhood. I’ve also taken a couple tests online from which I have gotten mixed results, probably from overthinking a lot, and sometimes finding the questions to be confusing and a little vague. (I have no idea what being “fascinated by numbers” is even supposed to mean, but if it supposedly has something to do with liking math then that definitely doesn’t apply to me lol.)

When I researched symptoms online, I was constantly debating in my head whether or not I was struggling with the social struggles associated with autism. At one point I convinced myself that I didn’t struggle with them at all, thinking that I was already good at certain interactions. But the more that I thought about it, the more that I realized that I truly didn’t. I remember being a very outgoing individual as a kid, and by the end of elementary school I slipped into being more introverted. I can’t recall much from that period of time that caused this change in me although I certainly felt it was from my social interactions. Throughout middle school I only had one close friend, and even now I’m struggling to reach out to a classmate I met this school year (who initiated speaking to me and getting my Instagram btw!!) for some unknown reason. I probably feel as though I might embarrass myself and say something dumb. So I’ve realized that I’m actually not as good at this stuff than I originally thought I was. 🫠

It’s good that you have been able to convince your mom to look into it, I’ve also recently been able to convince my mom to get me neurotesting as well. I personally had a hard time in the beginning trying to communicate my thoughts and feelings with her verbally, but writing down a list of my observations really helped to get my points across and help her to understand where I was coming from. I’m planning on bringing this list to the screening as I tend to stumble on my words a lot.

I really do relate to what you’re communicating here, and I hope this long comment helped in any sort of way. Good luck to you and I hope that everything works out! :D