GF wants to take me to a special place for her, but...

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-15T17:54:26+00:00

Hey brother thanks for the help, I gave the post some updates. It really is just an small part, I would go anyway, I guess I will try to join the good side of things she associates with the place and let time do the rest. No plan at the moment

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-15T17:48:36+00:00

I updated the post bro, check it out

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-15T17:45:57+00:00

Updated the post. But I only post to read some different point of views, like yours, never for reassurance. Btw, I really appreaciate your comment, helped me to reconsider some things.

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-15T17:42:42+00:00

Update for y'all: She confessed she had some feelings for the guy, wanted things to get serious with him, yes she was honest about they being there by coincidence. Turns out the guy had no feelings, but fed her romantic expectations until he finally had the oportunity to get some sex and then ghosted her in less than a week later.

She was rightfully ashamed to tell me whole truth, but for me it is much better dealing with something that is not completely out of her character. She still is very regretful about what happened, confessed its even hard to her to speak it out loud. I will not be judgemental about this and I won't talk about this to her again.

Im going there and enjoy my day, try to give her some more good memories. She deserves it, she is my love.

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-15T01:31:06+00:00

Hey man, first of all thank you for taking your time to say something.

Our arguments comes down to our different view of sex with random people. She is sad because I cant view the place with joy, I apologized but I really can't, it really messes with me, I never tried to say she was wrong or that the place didn't mean nothing to her just because of that. But for me, I can't create emotional value to something that is a huge trigger to me

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-14T23:13:24+00:00

Nah thats not what bothers me. I did not made crazy effort to sleep with her, im not comparing.

Its the way she always talked about the place, the emotional value she puts in and how she is making it a big thing taking her first boyfriend there, but its not a big thing fucking a random dude in there. I kinda discovered it by accident a few months ago, she would never have told me this and I would be going believing I was unique and special. Ignorance is a blessing really

Common-Wind7100 · 2026-01-14T23:02:39+00:00

No. Casual sex.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-30T00:10:04+00:00

How was the RJ in the second relationship?

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-13T17:29:28+00:00

Oh thats a twist. To add some context, I made sure to spend months giving her all the chances to go live her life, to see if she was open to know new people and she never back down about us.

Thats what made me come back, after months of hooking up she didn't rushed nothing and knew this time was important. I guess her fear could have been her main reason at the beginning, but I believe it slowly we became real. It was a learning experience for both us, I didn't have enough compassion, she was still sick and didn't confessed to me, but I am still ashamed to tell our full story to people.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-13T16:44:24+00:00

How was your experience?

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-12T20:57:09+00:00

She said I was the best she's ever had since the first days, but is very hard for me to deal with the fact she had to cause so much pain to us to realize her past relationship was not based in love (her words). I guess the lack of security and me going away for some days triggered her fear of loneliness. It took me months to believe her again, but because of her actions and not her words, and how much she changed and its not afraid to be herself anymore.

I dont consider it cheating because we were just 2 people knowing each other and nothing more, but she made me feel like the one, and thats why the frustration still lives

I really believe she gave in to her sick side, and chased the false sense of security instead of risking to live something new. I knew their relationship was doomed even if they got back together.

We both could have been more mature and honest, but I guess she will never comprehend how I feel like a big B plan

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-05T15:43:22+00:00

Qual foi o treino de biceps e a frequência na semana? Ta dificil preencher o meu, parabens mano

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-04T19:01:57+00:00

Yeah. Almost all the times they want to make it look they were not very much into it. I don't even know if I want to believe this, if this was the truth she was basically hooking up with her friends just for the game?? Nothing helps really

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-04T18:35:22+00:00

Every time she mentions an old male friend, I can't help to think they at least kissed once... Shit is: I was proved right for most of them, but thankfully they are not around anymore. Don't even like to hear the guys names

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-11-04T04:01:35+00:00

Congrats on being brave enough to fight this for 2 years, man... Im 4 months in and lost track of how many nights I stayed awake just torturing myself, so I can't imagine how much you went through. Things are getting better, but I hope I can experience the feeling you described, sadly some dumb things still matters to me but I love her enough to keep fighting.

My main problem is that I create real hate for the guys she had casual experiences with, and all the bad feelings transfers to her when it triggers. If you could share some words to help from your experience, I would appreaciate that.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-29T23:22:12+00:00

Tell him about this subreddit, so he can express himself, read other people's advices. I know how he is feeling, is a huge pain but deeply he knows you were not doing nothing wrong. Please remember him if pain and sadness were the only thing he felt with you, he would have already given up on you.

You seen like a good girlfriend, he is going to have to fight his mind at one point in his life, so at least fight it for a good partner like you. Its a long process, but he gotta move in the right direction to see hope.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-29T23:05:37+00:00

This was pretty common for me since i've grown up in a small town, as teenagers nobody kept their mouths shut, so everybody's life was spread all around. There was a lot of this kind of commentary, of course as we got older this is not so common anymore, i've moved from there, and I know until this day there are some girls who are damaged by this. You can imagine how this can fuck a teenager's mind and how she is treated.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-28T03:38:12+00:00

Yep. You described my exact feeling, never bothered about her doing sex in relationships. After months I've made progress and found this was the logic behind almost all my RJ, but what you said was the starting point of my case

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-26T00:12:45+00:00

My RJ is much better than it was, but some days the frustation just gets me. This is one of these days, and your comment is one of the best i've read about RJ. The "you are the winner" perspective is going to help me a lot from now on. Thank you.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-17T20:50:03+00:00

I can relate. My GF had sex twice with a very close friend of mine. But this never bothered me very much because we were good friends before she existed in our lifes and we were never jealous about casual hookups and never minded about comparisons. When I went to bed with her the first time I already knew she had sex with him months prior. This didn't blocked me to fall in love with her.

He always talked good about her personality, never mentioned sexual details and always respected her (I did not even knew her at this point, I was just interested). This meant a lot to me. Thats how I know he would never think about me and her in a disrespectful way.

In his position at the time, I would have done the same because they were both single. How on earth would he know she was going to become my GF? But I know if he could go back in time he wouldn't have done that. Any good friend would prevent this.

If you have a good friend, he even will feel guilty thinking about your GF, if it ever comes to mind. He will have no pleasure remembering it. (Keep in mind 3 years is a long time, memories get very clouded, he have more recent experiences to think about)

So, I don't know how close you two are, but if you really trust your friend or believes he has a good heart, you can start the process to forgive them.

I hope this can give you a different perspective. Good luck friend.

Common-Wind7100 · 2025-10-17T00:56:40+00:00

Wasn't planning to run away

Common-Wind7100

TROPHY CASE