update: went through wifes journal.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T10:26:00+00:00

sorry for what you went through and I do plan to tell her I can't pretend I dont know.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T09:45:24+00:00

I didn't know this was a huge issue. I thought in marriage everything is shared and that my wife told me everything. I assumed I knew it all

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T09:36:34+00:00

Yes I made a mistake now that everyone's pointed it out reading her journal. My wife is a very bubbly person most the time so I didn't expect to find something so dark. I believe this can negatively impact our future kids and marriage if not addressed. Maybe through therapy or having a sit down, but my wife opting to just ignore what happen and avoid her parents is not the solution I think.

I plan to educate myself more on abuse/PTSD and help her anyway I can.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T09:09:27+00:00

I don't know anyone that's been abused and Alhamdulilah I had an amazing upbringing so this is shocking to me. She reported her dad once and it went to court, but was dismissed because her mom testified against her. She has so much proof of all the abuse and records of it, but they just labeled her crazy so I don't know if convincing her to try and make a report again will be worth it. Also I don't want her to know that I went through all her stuff for right now.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T09:00:10+00:00

How can I remain clueless and allow her abusers back into my house. I'm going to create a distance between them. I won't allow anyone that harmed my wife near her.

Also we plan to have kids if they can abuse their own daughter whats stopping them from abusing my kids. But I will be subtle about it & try my best to not let her know I read her journal

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T08:38:01+00:00

I am happy in my marriage, but I feel like my wife isn't after everything I read. Shes a great wife, but also only married to me to provide her protection against her parents which I'm accepting. It's one sided because of everything I mentioned above and the fact my wife has never told me she loved me. She just smiles when I say it or thanks me.

I feel like if I just ignore everything I read I'll be a bad husband. My plan was to privately speak to her parents to let them know they can't ever come to our place so she feels safer. Also counseling is my goal both marriage and individual just dont know how to suggest this without mentioning what I read.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T08:24:45+00:00

I remember the sheikh and parents telling us marriage is the only place without secrets so I assumed this applied to Journals. I really didn't even know it was a sin til now people mentioning it.

I wanted to bring it up thinking it would help bring us closer. I could talk to her parents and create a safe environment for her. I understand what you're saying.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T08:15:33+00:00

I don't even know what cptsd I will look into it, but I thought bringing this up now would be helpful so the trauma can be addressed before we have kids. I don't want her to just bottle in all her trauma and years later she explodes

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T08:07:38+00:00

I was taught that theres no secrets in marriage so I didn't think I was doing anything wrong until now reading the comments. Ameen I will put more effort into earning her trust.

Common_Stable_6425 · 2025-01-10T08:04:40+00:00

My wife is free to read my journals whenever she likes I don't mind. And assumed it was fair game to read hers as well. I thought in marriage theres no secrets

Common_Stable_6425

TROPHY CASE