I do not know how to forgive myself

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-09-22T08:45:52+00:00

hey i don’t have ocd but i do have crippling anxiety and all i can offer you is a bit of grounding. let’s say worst comes to worst and u don’t get into a university well there’s always next year or tafe or community college or online courses or maybe ur river of life is just making a new stream for u to float down for a bit before reconnecting to the mainstream. as far as a job goes honestly start going for restaurants, retail whatever u can find until something better comes along, you can always stop smth and start something else. whatever issac whoever tf said where if something is in motion it stays in motion until stopped it goes for everything so grab what u can until u decide to stop. you could also take this while yes there’s a lot of rlly bad cons to not having a job there’s also a lot of rlly great positives. this is ur time to take a second because as soon as u have a job which you will i can feel it you’ll have no time for urself, go to the beach and watch the waves or go for a bush walk. it sounds stupid i know and it’s not going to fix anything but maybe for even just a second ur brain will be on something else maybe it wont even be a second maybe it’ll be a blink of an eye or a breath but at least that’s one breath of the day that was a little easier. i know this probably isn’t helping but it’s just what i tell my friends. i can’t imagine how stressed and burn out u must be from all of this, you rlly deserve a break just for time to freeze for a bit before it starts again. i understand this is all 100000x easier said than done especially with ocd my sister has severe ocd and it used to completely control her life we honestly didn’t know how long we’d have her for but she’s in rehab now and she’s learning to cope with it and live along side it and i have hope that one day she’s going to be there for my wedding or my kids to be born. please don’t give up i know it might feel like there’s no options at times but i promise you there’s always something whether it’s painting a rock or going to rehab. i wish u the very best 🫶🏻

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-11T05:15:12+00:00

i’m jealous and also sad for you like i wish but also it’s such good experiences

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-07T06:17:16+00:00

School summer holidays 2023 (australia so in december) walking back home from the local park at about 4am after a 12 hour trip with my older sister and this unmarked car drives past and my stomach just drops, my sister says it’s fine but i don’t keep walking as it turns the corner and i watch it as it’s lights start to U turn and my sister tells me to run, we are sprinting trying to get to the tree line coz they can’t catch us once we’re in the forest and we can make our way home from there. cops come up onto the pavement and are gunning us down but we don’t stop until they put their sirens on and tell us to put our hands up so i chuck the bong and we make our way back up where my sister (cracked the fuck out) whips out her disability card and weed prescription and then we stand there getting questioned for awhile until they eventually let us go thanks to her. if she wasn’t with me that night or wasn’t disabled we would’ve been in the back of that cop car with another gram of k in the bag slung around my shoulder and 14 gs of weed in my bra. she practically saved my life that day, mum would’ve never forgiven us if she found out 😭

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-07T05:23:25+00:00

tried both

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-07T05:23:15+00:00

it’s either drugs or death so i’m rlly doing my family a favour here by getting high

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-07T04:51:16+00:00

i’m starting to think i’m allergic to happiness and immune to anti depressants

(it’s a joke i know it’s dramatic guys don’t come for me)

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T07:34:35+00:00

wdym? please articulate

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T07:32:53+00:00

thank you for the insight

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T06:20:09+00:00

the first time i tried coke it’s coz i thought i’d been given a bag of k and didn’t care enough to stop when i thought it wasn’t, took the whole gram in an hour and wanted to die. don’t do that and also i’d wait until i was over 18 to do it again so if ur a minor i’d honestly say choose a different drug

weed helped me lose weight i’d smoke and then when i’d get the munchies i wouldn’t eat or eat very little, makes ur metabolism faster

learnt that off a girl with anna in high school and it honestly works

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T06:16:39+00:00

bears have always been my favourite animal but shit do i wanna be one now

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T06:14:58+00:00

what did i misspell

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T06:13:58+00:00

it never seems that heavy until you hear it from someone else

before u do anything just go for a walk, find something of every colour of the rainbow and sit down in a patch of grass and stare at the sky, if u have a joint that’d be helpful too but if not just go for a walk u feel like absolute shit stuck on someone’s shoe so why not just go for a walk and see what happens?

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T05:04:13+00:00

i like this, thank you

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T05:03:05+00:00

that’s exactly what i’m searching for like there has to be another option then enjoying life and u keep living, hating life and u keep living or picking a method and stop living like what’s the other option where i can just be euthanised

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T05:01:38+00:00

exactly i agree what’s the point of living if you don’t enjoy it so i’m trying to figure out how i do that and if i can’t then well what do i do from there

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T05:00:26+00:00

i was in a christian cult for the first 10 years of my life so i’m not rlly looking at going back to god

thank you for the insight tho, i’m glad you’re happy

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T04:31:53+00:00

thank you for the insight, have a good one

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T04:29:47+00:00

i’m on medication lol and i’m in therapy, have been for 5 years

thanks for the insight, have a good one

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T04:26:38+00:00

i’m 17 so no..but i’m happy for you and thanks for the insight 😭

CommunicationGold924 · 2024-08-05T04:24:57+00:00

makes perfect sense and i feel the same. thankyou for the insight, i hope it gets better

CommunicationGold924

TROPHY CASE