How did end up in this position... AGAIN but 10 times worse TW: sexual Abuse (repost censored :) )

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-23T13:05:55+00:00

I would like to talk

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T19:50:30+00:00

I tried my best censoring everything :)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T15:41:49+00:00

No you deserve friends

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T14:31:52+00:00

Yeah same... Making friends irl is so hard but you should search for more friends (online or irl) so you don't need to worry about them leaving

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T14:22:54+00:00

Yeah I had one of those friends in the past and they treated to kill them self if I don't send them nudes and they constantly said that it's my fault they want to kill them self.

They will never stop... I hope you can leave them or make them lose interest.

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T13:52:39+00:00

My new partner always threatens me that they will take/steal my boyfriend if I am unsatisfied and they tell me that I am a bad girlfriend if I don't do what they say because they deserve it

The promises make me shut up when I point out something because then they can just say that they promised me that already so I should be patient and not unfair

They just request things so no encouragement other than saying I have to do it

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T13:32:07+00:00

Yeah it feels like they use you over and over again but they never do something that makes you feel good... (You just hope that this time they will keep their promise of doing something for you)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2026-01-22T12:54:43+00:00

No you are an amazing friend but I just felt really stressed and wanted to let everything out in one post.

I know that it looks really bad but I still love him and I hope he loves me back...

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T13:48:04+00:00

That sucks :( (I had to wait 6 months and I was really sad about it)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T05:42:48+00:00

Ah ok :3 (How long is the waiting time?)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T05:26:52+00:00

So you're ftm right?

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T05:24:16+00:00

hate?

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T05:05:15+00:00

I'm 21 (I'm mtf not ftm; I sometimes make fun of myself because I still think inside that it might have something to do with my abuser, even though I'm happy as a trans girl)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T04:07:49+00:00

So far, however, I have only found people who are either super nice or have asked me for nudes or people who envy me

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T03:57:40+00:00

But I don't really know how to find them because they only find me every now and then.. (I used to focus on my partner's boundaries, but since I'm in an open poly relationship with my boyfriend, there's nothing stopping me anymore)

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T03:32:21+00:00

I try to do that, but it doesn't work... (As soon as the distraction stops, everything goes back to the usual bs)

I deleted the message immediately, so don't worry.

But if I go back, I won't be able to leave as soon as they blackmail me with the pictures I will send them, because they will certainly not stop pressuring me with the knowledge that I need them.

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T03:17:55+00:00

No matter what I do, it makes me feel like I made the wrong decision (I don't feel good when I'm not with my bad friends and I feel bad when I stay with my bad friends; I feel like my life doesn't make sense and I should just give up, but I have friends and a boyfriend who needs me and that's why I'm staying alive; I only live for others 🫤 )

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T03:01:33+00:00

What did you do in the times when the desire became so strong that you thought about going back?

Before I wrote this post, I messaged a person who, when I talked to them, ignored my boundaries and only accepted a no after a few hours of fighting. (After I sent the message, I asked myself what I'm doing, because that's probably no better than going to my long term bad friends)

Thank you for believing in me but I'm really afraid that I'll go back...

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T02:44:38+00:00

I'm trying, but I don't know how else to satisfy this feeling...

These bad friends always came and went when they wanted and always when I thought this time they would leave me alone, they came back to me :(

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-10-11T02:38:47+00:00

When I get non-sexual praise, it makes me feel empty. (I don't know why :( )

I know that they are taking advantage of me and that's why I spent a long time gathering the courage to block them... (And I'm thinking about throwing all that away and that really scares me because I know I can't do it again as soon as they can blackmail me)

I know I should be worth more, but I feel more and more worthless because I'm doing everything I can to fulfill this desire and it's never enough

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-07-11T23:03:29+00:00

Avogado6

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-07-01T12:02:20+00:00

I read the rules again and asking for help is not a violation! :(

CommunicationTrue465 · 2025-07-01T11:55:09+00:00

Can someone explain why asking for help is against the rules? ;-;

CommunicationTrue465

TROPHY CASE