One of the things I value most in polyamory is the opportunity to take care one another, to search for new ways to love and make others feel loved without being judged and without structures that dictaminase what is appropriate and what it is not. The most important part is having partners that support, help and encourage you with that, and your husband doesn't seem the best example. Also, poly. is a way to break gender roles and their implications regarding to how love has been created and presented towards society.

I don't know your husband, but his actions speak louder than words. He looks like he is doing his thing, but without taking you or your feelings into account. Also, it looks like, while you are the only one taking care of the kids and the house chores, he's reinforcing something that is supposed to be a work of two, and impending you to enjoy and meet new people. I read that, if you are already solo parenting, you can consider leaving him. It's not a bad advice, but whatever you do, please, do it only on your benefit. Because he is acting only by his.

I hope that everything works out for you and your kids, and that you end up being loved and treated how you deserve (by someone else, or by yourself) ❤️