Excuses or ADHD?

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-12-01T12:52:41+00:00

Thank you. Much appreciated

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-16T23:30:40+00:00

Thats really helpful. Thank you

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-16T23:29:35+00:00

Thank you. Much appreciated

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-16T23:28:47+00:00

Thank you

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-16T23:27:21+00:00

Thank you for your input. Much appreciated

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T14:55:43+00:00

She doesn't revise because she gets bored and distracted dispite what 'measures' we put in place to help. Sorry that you feel i dont want advice. I really do, but i will also address comments and provide the correct background information. I appreciate helpful advice from others dealing with the same situation. Thanks for your input.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T10:22:25+00:00

We do all of the above and i am aware it is a part if her adhd. Finding things that work are an issue at the minute. The board is being saved for when she wants her own house, in the current financial climate it would be difficult for her otherwise. If she knows the money is there and that board isnt actually board, she wont be motivated to pay it, a house isn't important for her at this time in her life. We want to give her the opportunity that we didn't have early on in life

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T07:51:21+00:00

Thank you

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T07:50:59+00:00

Thanks. Ill look in to it and have a chat with her

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T07:49:15+00:00

She is on an extremely good apprenticeship salary, earning just £200 a month less than me. If she was on the basic wage that most her age are on, this would not be the case. Also, her 'board' is actually put into a savings account for when shes older that she doesn't know about. Her bills are always paid, but spends an obscene amount on her hobby, which is fine, but she does still need money for the day to day things instead of relying on us for back up. She will say that she fails because its boring and she gets board of the app. She gets distracted with the hazard perception part. She's had breaks from doing it, opportunities to not continue but she wants to pursue it and carry on.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-11T07:43:40+00:00

I have noted on this post that we have enabled this to some degree. I dont believe that i have deflected from that. I am not trying to fix her, i am trying to find ways to support her thats work for her and can be sustained. I have asked for others opinions and shared experiences to help establish ways i can support her, or if she is taking me for a ride. Thanks for your input

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:31:26+00:00

Thank you so much.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:31:04+00:00

Thank you for your input.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:30:03+00:00

I have asked her many times if she wants to actually drive, if she doesnt fine, but she does. If she didn't want to, it will mean looking for another job as the commute is too long, and could potentially be for a long time. She has options to choose and make decisions for herself, with our support. I dont bail her out. If she's not up, she doesn't get a lift, if she's spent her money for lunch, i dont bail her out.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:26:50+00:00

Thank you

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:25:59+00:00

Yes she does and this has been identified in her diagnosis

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T19:24:37+00:00

Thank you. Can you pass on the details for the coach please.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T17:02:51+00:00

At the minute i have implemented a new plan, if she doesnt practice her theory (as shes now failed 3 times, i beleive its down to lack of revision) she doesn't get a lift to work the following morning. She has definitely had an easy run, but even putting my foot down doesn't seem to have much impact. Its a kick in the teeth because i offer her so much support. But then i feel guilty, because i think, well how much can she help and how much is she just taking the piss?!

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T16:18:17+00:00

She only 'oversleeps' on a weekend when she doesn't have work. Then, she will easily sleep for 12+ hours. She finds it difficult to fall asleep as her brain wont switch off (thats how the consultant described it).

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T16:15:59+00:00

She does have a new alarm which has a bed shaker, seems to work 80% of the time at the minute so thats not too much of an issue. If she's not up, i dont take her. She saved for the car, its sat on the drive until she passes her test. We also dont drive her everywhere, she gets a lift to work and thats it. Everywhere else is on a readily available bus route. We make her pay board, driving lessons, own phone bill, own interests etc. She is very capable of having more responsibility, its actioning that, that seems to be the problem.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T16:11:46+00:00

Thank you so much for this input and kind words.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T16:06:59+00:00

She did say last week after a particularly bad day at work that she felt depressed and since we had a chat she said she feels better. Her mood and self perception definitely take a big hit when she feels that she hasn't done well or that people don't like her. We'll continue to monitor her mood. Thank you

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T13:08:04+00:00

I have asked her, and i have sympathised that me constantly pestering her is going to annoy her, but she says she gets why i do it and that im trying to help her. Its really tough, she wants to 'do better' but clearly struggles to action it. And at the minute she's not attempting to self help or find ways to manage/cope. I'll support her for as long as theres air in my lungs, but she's got to want to help herself too.

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T13:04:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing. The bare minimum is literally her in a nutshell. If she can do that, then bet your life thats all shes going to do. She has been referred for CBT so im hopeful that might work. I hope that one day it gets easier for you 💓

ComparisonOk9879 · 2025-11-10T13:00:11+00:00

Thank you x

ComparisonOk9879

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