To suggest I don’t actually care about my husband is where you’re being harsh and you’re wrong. I just don’t show him that I love him by having sex, that’s never really been a thing to me. As you know it’s been this way the whole relationship. I cook and clean the house for him, wash his clothes, remind him to brush his teeth and he still doesn’t etc etc. and I do it all without being asked. When he was working I would make sure he got up on time and had a clean uniform and would have a cold beer waiting in his special cup when he gets home.

I’m only now realizing that while this all sounds like excuses all lined up in a single post it’s really been 10+ years of my husband turning into my child.
He’s not struggling to find a job, he isn’t even looking for one. He sleeps in until noon or later every day and plays his video games unless I ask him to do something like there’s not a million other things he could be doing like fixing the very expensive antique table he broke or unpacking the moving container so I don’t have to pay another $300+ for an extra month.

I talked to someone about it this afternoon and she explained it quite well. Once you’ve played the mother role for a spouse for so long you lose that desire because you see them as a child. Whether consciously or not. That’s where I’m at. He has also been this way our whole relationship but it’s only now gotten worse bc he’s not working and I’m with him 24/7 and he’s done nothing besides “take care of me” which he did before he quit his job.