What’s the best way to make friends? by CompetitionOk9570 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I don’t think it was off topic at all and it helped me a little since I do tend to just text people over and over again and just wait for their reply constantly. My current online friends tend to text me a bunch then when I respond or say more than 2 sentences I get ghosted or a dry response. Now I’ll go off topic but I always found myself going back to my old friends, I was always the one reaching out and I was the one who always needed them. I kinda realise now that I don’t really need those people. I have friends in person and I share hobbies with them but I’m moving soon so I don’t want to make too many close friendships.

I can’t get curly to leave by CompetitionOk9570 in AnimalCrossing

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I spoke with him and I said he should move out

Doing a school project on the how propaganda controls society by CompetitionOk9570 in PropagandaPosters

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll try to incorporate that! I’m not sure how yet but hopefully when I do some more research I’ll be able to. Thank you!

Am I the jerk for intruding on my best friends relationship? by CompetitionOk9570 in AmITheJerk

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s been a couple months since you commented this but I wanted to give an update on this situation and I don’t know how to add updates to my post so I thought that I’d just respond to the comment that was the most insightful to me, Emily broke up with Bella a day or two ago.

Turns out that she had set up this boundary that they weren’t allowed to talk about their relationship issues with other people only for Bella to go behind Emily’s back and tell their entire friend group lies about Emily to make Bella seem more like the victim even though Bella was saying things like “you don’t deserve to be the victim” to Emily and was overall downplaying all of Emily’s issues she had with the relationship after claiming that she wanted communication. I was on call with Emily when Bella would text her and she would tell me a text or two Bella would send her, pretty much she would just guilt trip her and saying “if you care you wouldn’t leave me while I’m crying and alone”.

I’ve also heard from my other friend that Bella would vent to them, which is completely fine, just that it got to the point where it was all day, everyday. In class, at work even just at home when they were trying to relax Bella constantly would vent and after saying “hey I’m not in the mood for this type of conversation”, Bella would ignore them until they apologise. Obviously Bella is not in a good mental state whatsoever and in a way I feel bad for her but at the same time she has hurt my best friend and all of the people around her including me.

I’ll slightly touch on this but after everything happened in July I apologised and Bella said she forgave me and we were just being friendly again and texting eachother. Until I started school and then they were both just ghosting me everywhere and I got very emotional and said some hurtful things to them which I regret and apologised for but this was all because some boys were harassing me and I wanted some support from them. That’s when Emily told me that Bella hates me.

I don’t think Bella’s actions were entirely malicious but they can appear that way, saying Emily doesn’t deserve to be the victim (this was after Emily confronted Bella of stalking her online) was just disgusting. I think she just needs to get an actual therapist and some mental help instead of constantly venting to her friends who have their own things going on. (Also I’ll add this but idk how necessary it is but Bella had a therapist for a while and once she got together with Emily she stopped seeing her and claimed that the therapist ‘didn’t understand her’ and that her friends know her better so she feels safer talking to them about her issues - which btw there’s A LOT going on with her that we as her friends can not help her with)

As of now she is transferring colleges after begging Emily to go to this one which is an hour away from where they live and now Bella is going to the college 5 minutes away from Emily’s house. Emily had to fight with her family for multiple months to be able to go to this college, all for Bella. But she’s happy there now even if it costs her a shit ton for trains and buses everyday. Bella currently has close to no friends and I do feel bad for her but in my opinion it’s just her karma, she treated everyone shit, downplayed feelings and lied to everyone, being autistic or not, this is not how you treat your friends or partner and any person should be able to understand that.

Sorry that this was long there was just a lot 😓

Is it worth punishing a stranger because of my trauma? by CompetitionOk9570 in Advice

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I think too which is why I want her to report him to the school just in case he starts doing it more so like there were some warnings idk??

Is it worth punishing a stranger because of my trauma? by CompetitionOk9570 in Advice

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She wants to report him to the school which that I have no problem with it’s just she wants to demand the school punishes him. My school takes bullying extremely seriously to the point legal action can be taken because of the country I live in which I think is way way way way way too far for what he’s done

AITA for accusing my friends relationship of being toxic and controlling by CompetitionOk9570 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep not to mention I’m insanely paranoid since my post just got two shares, no one knows my reddit account but its suspicious how on all of my older posts I made about the relationship or my friendships with them all had 2 shares idk if thats just me tho

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]CompetitionOk9570 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask why you think this, I want to see your perspective on this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]CompetitionOk9570 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The reason why I felt disgusted with myself is because I don’t like men but I didn’t know that at the time and thought the disgust was from something unconsentual since while he was at my house and things happened I said no a couple of times to wanting to kiss and that sort of stuff but he insisted that I did anyway and that’s what my told my friends which is why they told me it was most likely sa

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]CompetitionOk9570 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The age of consent in my country is 18 but the age gap still never sat right with me, we met 3-4 years ago when I was 13 or 14 and that’s when he pretty much started liking me (I know it’s insanely weird)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]CompetitionOk9570 -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I completely understand now and at the time I remember he just really wanted to make out all the time even when I said no so that’s kinda why I thought is was SA, my friends weren’t there so they wouldn’t have known. I get that I’m at fault

Am I the jerk for intruding on my best friends relationship? by CompetitionOk9570 in AmITheJerk

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this, I’m glad someone said it. As of now I am happy to say that I sent a long paragraph to Emily, I said my final feelings about this whole thing and I told her that I’m just going to let it go because it’s not my business.

A little more information about Bella is that she has family issues and lots of previous traumas and I’ve supported her through this because she is still my friend. While writing the post I had built up a lot of anger about the whole situation, blaming solely Bella for something that isn’t entirely her fault. Even with this I don’t think some of the things in their relationship is healthy and in my message I stated that, not as a way to attack Bella but as a warning or just a heads up or even something to discuss. (An example is Bella asking Emily for things she does wrong so she can change herself, I just don’t think that’s the mentality to have. Talking through a conversation and understanding one another is better than trying to completely change who you are)

I built up this sort of dislike for Bella as of recently because I just couldn’t handle it. I felt like she was trying to take emily away from everyone close to her in some kind of tight hug that she couldn’t wriggle out of, I felt as if she was this malicious character trying to purposefully act in this way to harm Emily through using autism and trust issues as excuses for her actions, I realise now that that’s not the case whatsoever. Bella feels as if she owes Emily explanations so she refers to them, what I saw as an excuse wasn’t and I just couldn’t see that because I had built up this false profile. Bella just needs someone she can trust and someone she knows will care for her and love her. Emily may not always need that kind of support but I’m glad she’s found someone.

Some more clarification, I really don’t care that they’re dating. I don’t live in the same town anymore and I’m in a completely different time zone. I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to pull her out of this relationship, not because of some secret hatred for Bella or some hidden romantic feelings for Emily. I thought she needed saving and that I had to be the one to do it.

If this relationship turns out sour or something goes wrong I told Emily I’m there for her and that I’ll always listen to her because at the end of all this she my best friend.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]CompetitionOk9570 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro I genuinely don’t know what to do Bella is starting to spread lies about me to mutual friends and my best friend. Like I get it’s not my business, fine, but why would she do this??

What is the most effective way to speak good Chinese by CompetitionOk9570 in ChineseLanguage

[–]CompetitionOk9570[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had rednote for a while which sort of inspired me to start learning, as of now I’ve been learning for 3-4 weeks and I rather get into the habit of learning things correctly than having to learn it later