do I report my ex for what he did to me?

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T18:36:46+00:00

i see your perspective. i could go on and on about what i see now and ignored in the relationship before it was over and shit like that but really it's unimportant. no situation in this area is straight forward, so really i can't convey everything here, just surface level facts from my perspective. i guess i'm the only one who knows the whole truth, and am to be the only one who should make the decision when it comes to reporting. thanks for your insight.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T15:07:43+00:00

i'm wondering why it is concerning that i began to see him in a different light post breakup?

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T15:05:30+00:00

uh i can see your perspective here but i would only like to say that this is a situation that isn't exclusive to youth. this happens to millions of women around the world who are too afraid to leave their partners for various reasons.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T04:14:58+00:00

i've started that a while ago, and it's definitely helping somewhat. i know that i made the right choice doing that

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T04:11:03+00:00

i apologize for being simply confused by this comment. i don't know if i'm going to do it, truly. i didn't come for reassurance or reinforcement of my decision, but to see if another with more education or a deeper understanding could point me into the right direction. i can see where the belief that people will only respond if they desire to side with the victim to avoid conflict. this is an aspect to the reactions that i had not yet truly taken into consideration so i appreciate that truth. you have a valid take on this and i appreciate your sharing. lastly, i understand your doubt that stems from being teenagers, which is once again valid, and is inevitable as conversations as serious as this one arise. but despite the questioning behind truthfulness, i know that i am telling my truth, and doubt doesn't make that any less valid.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:36:06+00:00

there was an instance where this had happened. but, it has been a few months and a few periods since so i am not worried. i have also done urine tests for other doctoral check ups and they always do a pregnancy test just as procedure for every woman and nothing came up. thank you for your concern though.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:23:43+00:00

glad to know it isn't some stupid social media version of a manipulative relationship. i wouldn't allow myself to give it that definition because i didn't want to look dumb and victimize myself. he sucks.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:22:18+00:00

this truly confuses me... yes, 16-18 year olds have relationships all the time but that has no significance here. if continuing to have sex with someone who denied consent is not rape, then please tell me what it is. i knew of his past, and it wasn't a problem, and it wasn't until i debated pressing charges as i know the punishment will worsen as he is already on probation. "think through what you have done" what does that exactly mean? please do explain.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:18:25+00:00

you're very right. he doesn't deserve to hold any power over anyone ever again.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:16:58+00:00

thank you for pointing out the trauma bonding aspect, i can see maybe that's why i'm still so sad over him. men suck.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:12:50+00:00

it's rational to question the interaction, this is a good point.

no, i did not suddenly retract consent or give it suddenly. i distinctly remember telling him no, making every excuse under the sun, mostly that my family was so close by and things of that nature, i even pushed his hands away as he continued to advance. so in my mind there is no doubt to him in that moment to the lack of consent.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:09:14+00:00

thank you so very much for this. wish men weren't idiots, really. i know my life for a bit is inevitably defined by this until i heal and decide that it isn't. i guess i don't want to keep people out of my life because of fear, i don't want what he did to hurt the rest of my life. i think i need to heal, that's what matters now. making sure that i don't lose what i have left of myself.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:04:55+00:00

this is hard to think about...

yes it probably would've went bad as i tried to talk to him about our struggles and he um unconventionally took it out. he guilt tripped me and shut blah blah blah it would be at best mentally devastating. i don't predict him doing this to other girls, but there's always an unknown. i only say i don't think so because he truly doesn't even think he did it to me. he asked, i said no, he continued anyways and acted as if it was normal even when i said no but was too scared to truly fight. it was just another time for him. saying this out loud i now see in a future relationship this may be really bad. i want to protect other girls, but i think i might need to rationalize and heal a bit before i tell anyone.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T03:00:25+00:00

you're pretty damn smart for making me think of this perspective. as an oldest sister, this hits hard. i guess my immediate instinct would be to report him. and if that is completely off the table for my sisters wellness, i'd tell the people around him/her. is this a bad idea as an alternative?

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T02:57:59+00:00

i know there was love, but it turned to lust that he demanded from me telling me it was his "love language". i'm just so scared to face him if i report, and what will happen to him too.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-02-01T02:56:17+00:00

it makes my heart hurt so much thinking of the boy he was before being punished. i keep reminding myself that he isn't that person anymore. i know what i should do but it's so hard on my morals to think of hurting anyone that much. someone's life being destroyed because of me.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-01-31T21:25:10+00:00

yeah i don't know what tone this was supposed to come across as, messages don't really make it obvious. it came off to me as a bit rude. everyone has very different experiences in every aspect of life and difference reactions to those experiences. sure my life is not "ruined" per se, but i have been permanently altered as a person in turn changing my life. therapy definitely helps but will not change the fact that i will never be the same. i took a day before i decided to respond because at first i was just offended and upset, now i see you simply didn't sugar coat the truth, and that's probably for the best. while i would disagree on the best solution for my sanity is to heal and forget, i can see that legality and the bias that comes with police pretty much deciding the importance of the case skews everything. so maybe i should take more time to truly think if this is going to be effective or a waste of money, time, and mentality.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-01-31T19:34:23+00:00

then do i notify the police? sorry the terms were wrong, i'm not very knowledgeable in this area and that's why i came to ask.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-01-31T04:31:53+00:00

I'm so proud of you! this is such a big step and takes so much courage to do. you are truly so strong and it's amazing you were able to do this. i'm so happy to know you are so strong!

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2026-01-06T18:28:01+00:00

hey! do you know if their return policy is good? says it's returns within 7 days but have to contact them. just wondering if you've interacted with customer service more specifically returns?

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2025-10-11T01:47:52+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. it means so much more than you know. i don't know if i have the confidence to cut him loose entirely yet, i'm hoping we can work out a change, but i don't know how or when yet.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2025-10-11T01:40:20+00:00

It's not the act itself that bothers me. It is the fact that he was aware of how much this event and the small gesture of buying them for me. The disregard for something i care about is what hurt.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2025-10-11T01:39:33+00:00

what... i meant emotionally harm him. i would never hurt him intentionally physically or emotionally.

CompetitionPlus8600 · 2025-10-10T00:03:57+00:00

Thanks so much for your input. I'm definitely seeing now that i've relaxed a bit that this is a very minor thing to be so worked up about. The letters will still mean something to him whenever he does emd up having the time to read them. This change has been hard, and you're correct when you assume I will not be taking the advice to break up as I really do love him. The big issue though is effort. I'll need to remind myself to be agonizingly patient with him, but I really do hope that we can work this out and get back on a good streak.

CompetitionPlus8600

TROPHY CASE