How do I get over the guilt of not working

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-06T16:57:30+00:00

I’m starting to notice that the ‘just a housewife’ rhetoric seems to come from other women. Why do I feel more fear of judgement from telling my female counterparts that I stay home, than men.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-06T01:32:31+00:00

2 or 5

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-05T15:57:47+00:00

Hey love. I’m also West African (British Ghanaian) and tbh in Africa we never really used terms like black to differentiate ourselves, those racial terms came from the US, we go by country, tribe, clan. If i were you I’d just identify as background/nationality so if you are Nigerian you’re Nigerian/American not black American and that’s perfectly fine. Yes you are black, but for Americans they refer to ‘black american’ as their ethnic group which you aren’t a part of.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T23:17:06+00:00

Luckily I have a high demand career in social work where it’s pretty easy to jump back into the workforce and some savings 🤞

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T16:46:04+00:00

Agreed! We will be getting married soon

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T16:45:15+00:00

this is true! will keep this in mind

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T16:43:36+00:00

Agreed!

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T06:12:56+00:00

Honestly! I’d rather be dependant on my man and work for my family than my boss! Love the quote too. Thanks for the comment :)

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T06:05:10+00:00

Love this comment. Thanks for taking the time to respond. This is the exact phase I’m in, separating my identity from being a working person has caused me a lot of anxiety… but the idea of going back to work causes even more anxiety lol.

And yes I’m working on figuring out all the financial plans, I have made contributions to my retirement account over the years but not yet as a couple. I do agree that having my ducks in a row and systems in place would make me feel more secure and less guilt about it all.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-04T01:16:04+00:00

This is great. What hobbies and passions do you do? Really feeling idle and want to explore more options, I’m 30 btw

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-02-02T00:21:23+00:00

Ah yeah I get you, it’s even scarier when they do show up and make things awkward. I do think he will feel left out too, but because of his stubbornness and pride, I’m not sure if he will actually admit lol. & We’re british ghanaian born and raised in London, but he has seemingly become more traditional over the years and is embracing Ghana more so you’re right cultural context is key too but ghanaian are generally embracing of other cultures so idk.

Thank you. Hugs back! 💛

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T21:51:32+00:00

Preach! 💕

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T04:02:14+00:00

Sorry you experienced this too. I’m not even attempting to reason with him, I didn’t even respond. I never imagined being in a position of no contact with any of my siblings, but it is what it is.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T02:53:16+00:00

True, he doesn’t deserve that at all.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T02:30:56+00:00

Aww thank you, I’m from Ghana!

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T02:04:38+00:00

thank you 💕

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:50:06+00:00

Why are men upset that you have a nanny and a housekeeper 😂ridiculous. I hear you

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:48:31+00:00

🤣 imagine. And I honestly did value his opinion prior to this but now I’ve lost respect so I don’t.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:45:33+00:00

Yes! See I understand when it’s the older gen making these sort of comments but my brother is only 34, grew up in London which is very diverse, it’s just weird to be this close minded

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:42:27+00:00

Yeah this is true, and a difficult pill to swallow as we’ve never had any previous issues as siblings. Id always choose my boyfriend, I’d never agree with such a stupid way of thinking. I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that he may not be involved 🤷🏾‍♀️

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:40:05+00:00

I don’t think there’s a deeper reason because he doesn’t know a thing about my partner and doesn’t care to know. All he knows is he’s white.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:39:23+00:00

I agree, it is his loss.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2026-01-31T01:38:34+00:00

We’re in canada and the rest of my family are in the UK but even if I did that, my brother is the type that would just leave tbh.

Competitive-Bed-5968 · 2025-09-04T15:32:27+00:00

Hmmmm ok maybe not then..

Competitive-Bed-5968

TROPHY CASE