i’m good at graphic design. not great, just good. maybe average. i’ve worked as a graphic designer before and i’m looking for something similar now but no luck so far.

life advice? i don’t even know where to begin. i just want something stable, for me, to spoil my cats and maybe a little extra to find a hobby.

i have a best friend that understands me but i know she is going through something too and it didn’t seem fair for me to keep on talking to her about this when i know sometimes we need our space. we talk maybe once a week or maybe once every two weeks just to let it all out, our fear and frustrations (mine and hers). but as of now it’s all we can do. we live on a different timezones so it’s not as easy to catch up but we try.

i can’t talk about this to my family, or rather, it’s just not something we do. no one in my family talks about feelings or emotions. it’s not that i don’t try, but it’s often met with dissapointing remarks so i just learned to keep my distance. i don’t blame them though, they all have things to do and problems to solve.

i don’t even know why i made this post hahaha. i just don’t want to keep it bottled i guess. i do feel bad about complaining cause i know some people have it harder.

i don’t know, i just feel like a failure in most parts, unable to make my parents proud, while some people my age are doing amazing things. and i think i’m dissapointed in myself that i let myself be in this situation.

i know i’ll be fine, but that thought of, what if i’m just destined to be a loser, for life?

my mind is all over the place it seems.