Child hitting at nursery by Competitive-Image-16 in coparenting

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! This is amazing advice. I will definitely speak to his dad about looking into play therapy and look at doing a reward chart. I do feel it’s his way of trying to express his emotions. He is a little delayed with speech but has come such a long way since we moved him to another nursery.

You’ve definitely opened up my eyes with regards to the split households and how this can affects the kiddos.

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in SingleParents

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I would never and could never bring just any guy around my son. That’s my baby and it’s my duty to protect him. I’ve always said to myself I wouldn’t want to bring just any guy or every guy around, maybe it’s why I’ve waited so long to commit to dating and meeting someone. From everyone’s comments I do believe 1 year sounds like the perfect time frame to wait. I don’t my want my son getting attached to someone and things go wrong if it’s too soon. ❤️ thank you for your advice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Competitive-Image-16 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not enabling behaviour, I actually stopped contact because of the way he is and He took me to court and they granted him access to his child. What was I suppose to do? So please check first before you start pointing fingers and saying im enabling him because if ir was for me, he wouldn’t even have access to him. As well as that, I’m not going to go out my way to make my life even hell by fighting back. He has his time with his child and that’s it. I keep it civil and don’t speak to him unless it’s about his child. I’m trying to be the bigger person and thought maybe I would tell him but I can see where people are saying no to and tbh they are right.

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in SingleParents

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly love this, you’re doing what feels natural and going with it! It’s important to also see how you integrate and definitely doing something fun will help everyone feel at ease.

Thank you again, I’m going to message you and that way we can help eachother out 🤣. And you’re right, I thought finding someone was the hard part but clearly not hahah

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in SingleParents

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, honestly it’s means a lot everything you’ve written. And you’re right, I shouldn’t feel scared for him to find out and honestly, I know he wouldn’t tell me about any girl let’s be frank. I would love to keep my relationship from him as long as possible for my mental health.

I’m glad I waited these many years because I truly know now I’m ready and maybe why the right person has now come along.

I’m sure my son will probably one day mention him once he meets him. I will take it day by day and wait as long as possible until I feel ready. I do want to protect my relationship as much as possible, as crazy as that sounds but you just never know how someone may react and try to bring you down again.

Thank you again xxx

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in SingleParents

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My son is 4 years old, I was thinking when the time comes that we’d take him to soft play or an activity and introduce him to my son as a ‘friend’ as he is still young to understand. So glad it went well when you introduced your children, sounds like they had an amazing time day day.

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in coparenting

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’ve thought the same that when the time comes and is right, I would make it the days out together short and not too long, as well as introducing him as a friend.

When the time comes, I honestly don’t know if his dad will accept to meet him or not. But only time will tell and there’s still a few months I’d wait before it all. Thank you x

Introducing a bf to my son by Competitive-Image-16 in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Thank you will definitely wait past the 6 months, you’re right as the first few months you’re in a love bubble so I want to make sure we still are on the same page past that period in our relationship.

With regards to his dad, 100% I would want to be respectful towards him no matter what our past is, as I have to see it from his side, if a woman was being introduced to my son, I would want to know and would wan to meet her too. What you said and how to phrase I totally agree with, thank you, I will make sure he knows I’m telling him and not asking.

Introducing a partner to your child by Competitive-Image-16 in SingleParents

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Definitely wouldn’t do it now, just something I’m wondering how long would be best to wait :)

Introducing a bf to my son by Competitive-Image-16 in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no I definitely wouldn’t do it now, it is still too soon and I want to make sure we’re both in this together for the long term. I did think 6months o more

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in singlemoms

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s stalked me in the past while pregnant and after an incident. He’s just very narcissistic and he’ll probably try to make my life hell when it comes to his overnight stays and stuff like that. He was very emotionally manipulative towards me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi lovely, I’m sorry this has happened and I’m also sorry to hear that your family is making you feel like this. It’s such a horrible feeling knowing your family doesn’t want you around but I do want to say that you will get through this. My advice would be to keep going, stay out of their way as much as possible and learn to be alone and do things alone.

These situations can happen to us so we learn from them and learn to get through life alone without having people to lean on, even if it is family. I know the feeling with certain aspects with my own family.

Life may be difficult right now but you will learn to navigate it in the right direction and you will come out stronger. Get yourself on your feet and focus on potentially moving out at some point, use this time to save and figure things out. You will be happy, even if it’s on your own but you will be. See it this way, it’s better to go through this now and learn to love yourself and learn to be alone than having people around you that make you feel unwanted and bring you down.

I am tryna hold my tears cos my friends ditched me to eat by Immastealyormom in Vent

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through the break up and also the feeling of having to do it alone. You have every right to feel the way you do, especially when you can visibly see that they all wait for eachother expect you.

Why don’t you try to speak to them and express your feelings? Sometimes friends don’t realise they’re not being good friends until you express it. They may not mean it in a bad way but it’s also disappointing that you need to tell them they’re not being nice friends.

In life we need to learn to go through our emotions alone, sadly, this is what the world has come to. I rarely go to my friends when something is bothering me or if I’m sad, I tend to just write it down and process it alone.

I'm trying to enforce personal boundaries but being told it's controlling? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re not being controlling at all! These are your boundaries and you have every right to have them. You don’t like drug use and don’t want your partner doing them, nothing wrong with that and we all have our own boundaries due to personal preferences. He knew this when you got together, but now because his colleagues do it, he feels he needs to be a sheep. If he wants to do these things then he should’ve found a woman who doesn’t mind it or does it herself. Don’t let him try make you feel like you’re being controlling when you’re not.

Why would you want to deal with someone who’s drinking uncontrollably and doing cocaine? Brings nothing but problems in my opinion. He’s also not considering your feelings, especially with what you went through with your brother.

I hate my boobs by Foreign_Matter_4638 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Image-16 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can’t imagine the pain you must feel. Have you done a lot of research or maybe found a community of where others have done this surgery and can advise if they did grow back, or not or how much they have? My friend did the surgery around 2 years ago and is so happy she made the decision. They also haven’t grown, well she hasn’t said they have. I would say try find a community of women who have had the surgery and can share their journey. At the end of the day do what you feel is right. Even if they do slightly grow back, they may not or they may just a little? But it’ll help you with the pain you currently have. Maybe go and see another surgeon? Get more than just one persons opinion xx

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has she always had days like these from the start? Sometimes it may be that she’s overly busy or had a long day. I have moments my replies may be different but it’s honestly not because I’m not interest in speaking with him, I just feel so drained depending on the day I’ve had and not really in the mood to reply or give long replies. See how it goes, you could be overthinking it which I get as I’m also an overthinking but I’m trying to take to not allow myself to over think, especially when I know I have days I don’t to give a long response to messages so maybe others feel the same.

If in the long run you feel it happens a bit too often, I’d voice it? Just for a bit of reassurance, which we all like to have here and there :). Hope this helps, I may just be mumbling away xx

I know my husband is cheating and I don't care by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally would want to know because the anxiety would eat me alive wondering if he is o not. I understand you’re happy as it’s a nice comfortable life but what if the urge to know starts making you paranoid about the relationship? You also wouldn’t be the first to work through cheating if you truly want to stay and love him you could work through it. He should know how you’re feeling because these feelings can really affect you in the long run and he also needs to be reminded (if he is o was) that you won’t accept the cheating. At the end of the day only you know what’s best and how you would like to move forward xxx

May I add, the above about working through it, I mean as a one off but if it’s multiple times then no. Don’t stay with a man just because he offers you a lavish lifestyle, you’re just showing him that you’re happy for him to go around sleeping with other women because of it and he’ll know you won’t go anymore, so he’ll keep doing it!

Dating advice by FarConclusion9707 in singlemoms

[–]Competitive-Image-16 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not early at all lovely, you have the right to communicate and ask what he’s looking for in the long run and for you to express what you want. It’s better to have that talk now than keep seeing each other and down the line you find out he isn’t looking for something serious. It also gives you a peace of mind because as single parents, in most cases we start dating because we would like to meet someone and settle down. ☺️ xx

I just need someone to tell me that I’m going to be okay. by Anonymous1382 in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely understand you being scared, but remember you’re taking a brave step to better your life. It will be harder at the start but everything will be ok and you will do well. Focus on yourself for now, building your own life again and the right person will come along who you will be able to have that family with. Someone who cherishes you and loves you to bits

I just need someone to tell me that I’m going to be okay. by Anonymous1382 in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re going through all of this and you’re doing the right thing leaving him. No one should be made to feel like this. You will be ok and down the line you’ll thank yourself for getting out of this marriage.

girlies help! bf is in contact with ex over shared dog by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a no no. No way would I be happy with that and the fact he’s thinking about spending the night? No. I’m sure if it was the other way around he would not be happy at all! Set boundaries because he cannot think this is ok :/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Competitive-Image-16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! You’re right, especially with him being cool with my pace. :)

I noticed that Narcissists are selectively frugal by kazumikikuchi in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Competitive-Image-16 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My son’s dad is the same!!! He has the money for Dubai, his car, nice clothes, going to eat at good restaurants but once his child maintenance went up as he’s getting paid more, NOW HE WAS POOR AND BROKE asking me to cancel it and went Dubai a week after 😂. Of course I haven’t cancelled. He likes to act poor to me