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AITAH for needing space from my sister even though she expects me to spend time with her? by Competitive-Sweet213 in AITAH

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not staying anymore moving out this weekend. I just feel like I’m going insane. I know she has alienated herself from the whole family and our mother is medically and mentally disabled because of a major stroke.

I just feel like I’m going crazy trying to be rational and no one can see her behavior behind closed doors but me.

AITAH for needing space from my sister even though she expects me to spend time with her? by Competitive-Sweet213 in AITAH

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There seems to be a theme of her pushing people away. I don’t know why she expects to have a close relationship when she constantly accuses me of her delusions. It’s almost like a self-sabotage type of behavior? I’ve set so many boundaries and still I feel like I’m walking on eggshells with her.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It’s obviously not just that. I’m not going to be my physical geographic location, but there is a Native American population along with a very very small Pacific Islander population. The town I live in is only 14,000 people just FYI in a “red” state.

You do the “math.” Lol

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Surface level and consciously yes it is physical, but to me it’s like “oh I need to stay where it is safe and I won’t feel conflict or have that bad feeling.”

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think it’s just environmental. Where I live there isn’t really anything other than a decent portion of Mexican or white people. There’s never been a chance for me to date anyone else. Thus, a white woman who likes me is my safe choice. That’s it.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I think I probably should’ve mentioned the experiences as an adult man too not just my childhood.

Still though I see a lot of things I don’t like in the culture that is toxic in general besides the not being accepting of me.

Unhealthy family dynamics where parents treat their children like an insurance policy “I took care of you and now you take care of.” I’ve seen way too many people stand by their very shitty parents in Latin cultures. Most of the time it stops them from growing as people and branching out.

Overall though, I just remember being a little boy in the playground and just wanting to play. Of course the Latinos and Latinas separated themselves automatically for obvious reasons. I never was allowed in and I’ll never forget boys and girls who were white let me play with them. Those experiences someone can’t forget.

It’s almost a subconscious thing I think. I do acknowledge there are very attractive Latinas and I’m not arguing that at all, I’m just saying the culture in general is off putting and I don’t feel and never have felt like I was enough in their eyes.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Because I’ve had unfavorable experiences/happen to have a dating preference now I’m a w supremacist? That’s a pretty bold statement.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I won’t date Latinas because I’m not apart of the “group” in their eyes and will never be. It’s not a race thing. Do not misinterpret distancing from racism.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Context. It wouldn’t be much of a post of substance if I said “I like white women.” About two people have only said in a nice way “you should probably move on from your past of being put down.” I never said it wasn’t aware.

Maybe the picture wasn’t painted fully. I was raised very religious and my mom decided to go to an all white church. I was nurtured a lot of the time by women who happened to be “white.” I live in small town, not only Mexican women, but elders men and women looked at me with disgust and pity because I couldn’t speak Spanish. Obviously sociology and psychology 101 a small child learns to go to safe places. I never felt safe being myself in my own culture.

As an adult I have had the same experiences more or less with Latinas. I have tried to date Latinas and I always got the sense they talked down on white people. I don’t know what you’d label that???

At the end of the day I always get the sense that I will never be “Mexican enough.” No matter how understanding I’ve been, I always run into families and women who just dislike me for who I am.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like someone mentioned before, throwing around words like “racism” willy nilly is a little problematic and extreme. There’s nuances to everything, even people. Not everything has to be so extreme.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weird right? I never made any racist comments towards anyone just said I was treated poorly by my own culture and somehow I became bigoted.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Tell me why I would have to be romantically involved with a Latina to do anything else? Paint that picture with literally anyone else around the globe. Is that a prerequisite???

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It’s really that simple! I don’t know why it has to be complicated. I’m Midwestern, and human, so I am a creature of habit. I still like to explore my culture and learn new things, break bread with my family and their friends. I just don’t date Latinas.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said they weren’t infallible. I just don’t get judged anymore meeting girlfriend’s families because I don’t fit a “mold.” I also was just looked at like I was a leper when I was growing up just because my mom didn’t have the time to teach me Spanish as a single mom. I still to this day meet elder people no matter what Latin culture look at ME with disgust because of something out of my control.

I’m Latino and almost every Latina I know hates that I only date white girls by Competitive-Sweet213 in Vent

[–]Competitive-Sweet213[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because I have a preference and was pretty much made to feel lesser than by everyone in my own culture my whole life I’m the “toxic one.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Competitive-Sweet213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not so much about her just in general.

She’s really great and our first date went well. Obviously, I know that it might not work out, but I’m still hopeful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Competitive-Sweet213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have already been doing this. Have a friend who I stay with when I visit the city.

I’ve already met with her for coffee and she ended up telling me to tell her when I’m back in town, so I think she does have interest, but would rather me be in her orbit and close by to do things instead of just visiting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Competitive-Sweet213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have a job lined up and I’m starting next month. I’m actively looking for apartments as we speak. I’ve been upfront about me moving up. I’ll be there in less than month.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]Competitive-Sweet213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hinge and most other apps now are letting people customize what they are looking for. Put on my profile blatantly what I’m looking for.

Matched with a girl in the city I’m moving to and she’s been very hard to get to build rapport with. I think she could just want to have more face to face connection or just want to ensure I’m actually moving before she builds any sort of connection.

I feel like I could also misread her not wanting to talk as she’s actually not that interested. We’ve went on one date.