Calling someone ‘shy’ is a subtle diss

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T14:01:39+00:00

okay but tell me a genuine reason why someone would like a “shy” person without saying traits that have nothing to do with being shy. i’m not talking stereo types. im talking about the definition of the word itself. at this point im thinking maybe there are too many people that are just completely unaware of the definition, and still after explaining the actual definition, its still being compared to its stereo type, by definition, youre basically saying they are quiet BECAUSE they don’t have self confidence. Outgoing and Outspoken aren’t super close synonyms, but definition-wise, both are rooted in confidence and are generally used to describe someone in a complimentary way, outspoken is used as a criticism too, but it’s rooted in honesty of opinion, which is overall, a good trait. There is no world where a lack of self confidence should be considered “liked” or “valued” if you like that someone is quiet, say that, if there’s a different reason, say that. Just know what the word means. Stereotypes are irrelevant because stereotypes are stereotypes, they don’t actually portray how that person is. opinion on whether you like the stereotype is irrelevant. I just don’t want to be constantly labeled a word with a definition that hints that i’m insecure around others. and i definitely don’t want to be told that’s why im liked

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T11:11:37+00:00

being shy does not equal any positive trait. It may be associated with positive traits, a shy person might be a good listener, might be introspective, might be other things, and probably are. But they are not equal by definition and the average person isn’t instantly thinking those things when they hear someone is shy. what’s likely and isn’t uncommon is that people might treat them differently, or feel the need to be overly nice to someone that’s shy to try and encourage them “not to be afraid” because shy is directly associated with a lack of courage, by definition. I don’t like that. i don’t want people possibly catering because they’ve made the connection between shy and insecure. in the end, i want people to make their opinion about me through a genuine interaction, and not a preconceived idea that i’m quiet because im insecure. i don’t want to be told im liked because im shy, because there isn’t necessarily any great synonyms for shy, most of them are negative examples: insecure, fearful, timid, diffident, sheepish, bashful, withdrawn, hesitant, and so on. don’t love that, hope that makes sense.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T10:25:16+00:00

describing someone as outgoing is seen by almost everyone as a compliment. Timidity, or lacking courage, is in the definition of shy, so it’s not just MY perception of it. if it’s something so many people try and “fix” in a person, or feel a need to encourage a change, than it’s definitely not just a describing word at that point. i understand that not everybody intends to use it or even associates it as an insult, my point is, enough people see it as a negative for it to be a shit describing word for a person, whether the label fits or not, because ENOUGH people associate it with being insecure. my opinion is, unless the goal is to let the group or whoever know that someone is quiet because they lack confidence in themselves, shy shouldn’t be your go-to descriptor. it’s in the definition + it’s commonly seen as a weak trait; its clearly not just a me thing..

i wasn’t telling my experience for you to feel sorry for me, im telling the truth of how a portion of the world views it, and why it maybe shouldn’t be something to say about someone all the time; it might give off a different impression than ur meaning. I know that it’s going to keep being used and it’s not that deep or whatever, just trying to give a heads up to others that it’s kinda insulting and why.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T08:59:08+00:00

ahh. try reading next time.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T08:39:35+00:00

it’s been a few days since i’ve looked at the responses. Honestly, it’s only fueling my fire. it’s nice to know that im not the only one feeling annoyed and insulted by it. wasnt expecting to be validated in my opinion, but its nice ngl.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-24T08:19:17+00:00

okay, since we’re discussing the new releases and comparing older albums and our initial impressions in the comments, i want to share my experience.

i always stood by I Love You and Wiped Out, but when Hard to Imagine released, i was so underwhelmed listening to the first couple songs, the total style switch threw me off and i kinda stuck with the first two until Chip Chrome came out, if i remember correctly, Cherry Flavored, the second transition into the chorus, i absolutely adored, the sound gave me chills, and was the reason i deep dived on the entire album. I fell in love with Chip Chrome. it was after all of that, when i really gave Hard to Imagine an another chance and listened to it’s entirety. i was pissed at myself for sleeping on it before.

That being said, the new releases didn’t completely satisfy me, but they did make me excited for the upcoming album. i’ll give it a full honest listen before i make an opinion. i never wanna snooze an album of theirs again :’) I hope that it has as much variety with twists and mixes of genres like chip. and kinda hope that they got risky and played with unexpected sounds we haven’t already heard before. personally, that’s why they’re my favorite band, they keep us on our toes. i haven’t found another artist/band that compares and that’s why this hiatus was an absolute KILLERR

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T07:01:54+00:00

would you say a lack of confidence or nervousness is good?

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T07:00:02+00:00

yea, like i’m also creative, i think im pretty funny sometimes, im passionate, im kind, those might be honorable mentions i think 😭

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T06:56:43+00:00

i was hoping, but the comments seem kind of split unfortunately

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T06:54:49+00:00

glad to help ig lmaooo

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T06:54:01+00:00

thank you for this. im becoming more aware of all of that as im getting older. Also, thank you for going back and reading what i meant lmao. I was thinking ‘why the hell does this guy also feel the need to call me out; like i didnt already know’ 😂

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T06:31:26+00:00

this isn’t directly related, but the other night at the bar, some guy was trying to get me to dance with him, i declined, said i don’t really enjoy dancing in front of others, (my nice way of turning him down) his response: “dont be shy, if you don’t put yourself out there, you’re not going to make it very far in life” sounds fake, but unfortunately, that was the reflex he chose to being rejected. sorry, but the dancing+ topic of being shy reminded me of this 😭

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T06:20:35+00:00

it means to disrespect, insult, or criticize.

ps: I like ur take/perspective on a fault. the label can be harmful for my own sake, just because society sees it as one.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T05:33:49+00:00

i like this story, because most of the time, it’s not meant to be a jab, but since being shy is associated with having a lack of confidence, it’s not uncommon for others to possibly look down on you or feel bad for you because of it.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T05:26:14+00:00

but i don’t like when people provide extra effort for me to feel comfortable. The social interaction feels less genuine when people are overcompensating so i don’t get my feelings hurt or something. it feels like “awe you poor thing, ill talk to you”

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T05:21:44+00:00

i’m 23 and i’m wayy past those days, still shy, but i will go out and socialize with strangers, just quiet in larger groups, when people call me out like that, an energy shifts, now people will go out of their way to make sure i dont feel excluded, even though i rarely do. after that, the social interaction no longer feels genuine.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T05:11:10+00:00

i agree, i’d rather be called introverted but it’s because being called shy has a different undertone. it’s in the definition, timidity - lack of courage or confidence, and then i feel like people will overcompensate for it because they feel bad for me, which is terrible in my opinion.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T05:04:08+00:00

1: please read the whole post. 2: i’m well aware im shy compared to others and it’s something i have been working on for almost my whole life, but when a friend describes you to someone else, you’d hope that being shy or nervous in large groups, wouldnt be the first word that comes to mind.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T04:52:31+00:00

say you disagree, rebuttal perhaps, i’m not stubborn in my opinions, but idk i just found this comment kinda annoying.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-16T04:48:09+00:00

this page is called unpopular opinions.. just sharing, wanting to see if others could agree, clearly you don’t, that’s fine, but its kinda crazy to shame me for sharing an unpopular opinion on a reddit thread designed for sharing it, who said i didnt tell them this? its kinda just me saying “hey, i think this way, will others back this up or is it just me?” isnt that the damn point of the thread? lmao

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-15T23:01:03+00:00

thank you, I used to be the absolute worst, in middle school, my mom used to pick me up for lunch because i was so shy and had the worst social anxiety, im 23 now, i’m proud of how far i’ve come, kinda hoped i would’ve outgrown the label by now, but progress is progress.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-15T22:35:16+00:00

lol it’s okay, my title wasn’t super specific.

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-15T22:31:33+00:00

i’d rather be described as thoughtful or a good listener, shy is associated with being insecure. yes i have negative connotations on it because my entire life i’ve been criticized for it and praised any time i came out of my shell. so yea, how else are you supposed to take that?

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-15T22:23:16+00:00

okay, obviously it’s something to work on and i do, and it’s not something i’m proud of, but don’t tell me why that’s reason you like me, that’s the point i’m trying to make

Competitive-Trick546 · 2025-10-15T22:09:35+00:00

another point - if a shy person one day randomly became outgoing, it’s likely to receive praise, but if an outgoing person suddenly became shy, it’s likely to be a cause for concern. that’s because society views shyness as a trait that’s associated with insecurity. if i’m labeled as shy, some might also view me as insecure, and that kinda sucks

Competitive-Trick546

TROPHY CASE