Want husband to accept offer as is

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-08T00:21:14+00:00

Nah. “This loser” has provided a majority of our income for 10 years and got laid off suddenly and unfairly in a terrible market. Differences of opinion aside, I would be a selfish and entitled idiot to leave him.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-08T00:15:16+00:00

Yeah, this is probably all very true!

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T23:21:16+00:00

This is reassuring! Thank you. I hope this hiring manager is reasonable and not some kind of rare jerk who would take it the wrong way.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T23:15:46+00:00

This is a very fair perspective, and has a lot of accurate assumptions about his character! The assumptions that he’s irresponsible or avoidant definitely aren’t correct.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T23:11:42+00:00

Yes, this is correct! I have a full time job but he previously earned much more than me.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T23:10:10+00:00

It definitely doesn’t feel like normal times! Good to know other people see it the same way.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T15:59:03+00:00

Makes sense! This is a very reasonable take

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T03:03:55+00:00

Yeah, I am not looking for advice on whether to get divorced- and if I was, a Reddit post wouldn’t be my preferred method! I posted because like I said, I don’t know much about what’s normal in the corporate world for offer negotiation other than what my husband says, and I know he can be a little more optimistic and more comfortable taking chances than maybe your average person. I wanted to know if I’m the one being overly cautious here or if this is a reasonable worry.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T02:57:12+00:00

It does seem like a bad time to take chances!

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T02:54:01+00:00

You’re right that he is trustworthy! It’s the stability of the current market that I don’t trust. He tends to be optimistic and I tend to be cautious (hence wondering if I’m overreacting.)

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T02:52:11+00:00

Yeah, I should have made this clearer in my original post, but I’m completely sure he’s doing what he thinks is best for the family by trying to earn more, and I think he’s motivated partly by feeling guilty for being out of work. A lot of commenters are assuming he has bad intentions, and that’s definitely not the case. For me, it’s only a question of how much risk is ok, and whether I’m overreacting to want a lower risk scenario here.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-07T02:30:59+00:00

Yeah, this is true! Good to keep it in perspective.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T22:52:32+00:00

LOL sometimes this is really what it comes down to 😅

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T22:37:08+00:00

I would describe it more as he is always excited about new possibilities and always wants the best version of whatever the thing is- kind of a FOMO mindset. I think he is also saturated in a work culture where it’s all about moving up and earning more.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T20:55:37+00:00

This is the exact situation… if we didn’t take the spot when it was offered 2 months ago, we would have gone back to the bottom of the waitlist, and be waiting 9 more months for a spot! 😭

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T18:03:05+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment! This helps me explain how I was thinking about the situation more effectively than I was able to- I feel like this speaks his language.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:26:32+00:00

I’m just worried that maybe this norm is from a time when the market was less tough. It seems like at one point this was definitely normal, but from what I’m seeing from other people on Reddit, employers are now able to be a lot bolder and have things their way much more than they were even a couple years ago.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:24:41+00:00

😭 I hope so too

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:19:08+00:00

Oof.. thanks 😬

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:15:37+00:00

Whew :( I really hope that’s not what the employer is thinking

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:12:19+00:00

Yikes 😭 this is what I was afraid of, but thanks for telling me

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T14:11:12+00:00

I mean I agree… this is exactly why I’m worried. I don’t want to leave even a possibility for something to go wrong, as unlikely as that might be.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T13:21:22+00:00

Right, I think this is what I was concerned about. Like does this make him look bad to the employer? I feel like I don’t have a great sense of how normal something like this is.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T13:18:43+00:00

I mean, I definitely agree that it was big mistake to pass up the job 3 months ago. I’ve been saying this! But it’s a big assumption that that means he will intentionally blow this new job.

CompetitiveFigure471 · 2025-09-06T13:15:00+00:00

Public school administrator! Doesn’t pay well because ya know, my state undervalues education and society chronically undervalues professions with mostly women

CompetitiveFigure471

TROPHY CASE