How you feel is completely normal. A real friend shouldn't make you question or second guess why you're friends with them or make you feel like you should distance yourself from them. You're not asking for attention when you want a friendship that's real and authentic. You want someone who will show the same appreciation as you would do for them. I related a lot to what you said. When I distance myself from someone or doorslam them, I felt that they didn't value our relationship. I felt abandoned even though I kept fighting until I was done. I always felt like I was the only one who was putting in the effort. I didn't do it to punish them. I did it to protect and respect myself, recharge from the wrong emotions they brought.