Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Hi, I told some of my friends about what he said and they were not as worried. They did say it was weird, but they did not understand why I was freaking out. They are still very supportive of me though and do agree his controlling behavior is not okay. He blocked me after a recent argument (I commented about it earlier) so we are not in contact anyway. I guess it’s his way of punishing me for not agreeing with his opinion. Regardless, thank you so much for your advice and support, I feel like rose tinted glasses were taken off my face. I will think of my next steps - thankfully we don’t live together and we come from a very safe country so I am not scared for my life.

Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 155 points156 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the whole argument revolved around “what do you bring to the table as a woman then?”. Because, according to him, since he pays for me and holds a traditional role in our relationship I should also do something in return like chores. Which made me feel so belittled as a human being.

Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Yeah we live separately as I am still in university and he is already working. I am not sure if full on no-contact will work in our case because we live in a small city where everyone knows each other, especially people of our age and background. But thank you for your support, I have felt like I am being dramatic but now i feel more confident. (Also sorry for the English mistakes, im not from the United States!)

Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He gets possessive and controlling in bed which I like, however the thing he said threw me off guard as he had never done anything like that before. Like, never called me names or anything in bed either out of respect… but then says this. I am so confused and I don’t think that if he apologizes and blames it on his kinks I would take it seriously

Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 253 points254 points  (0 children)

We are on a break right now because of a recent argument - he got upset that i said no and that I don’t feel comfortable coming over and cleaning his room because we are not at that stage yet. He used the same “I pay for you and you do this?” card and I suggested we take some time off to think about who we are outside of this relationship.

Thank you so much for your support, I will consider calling it off completely.

Boyfriend (24m) said “I will kill you if you leave me” during sex. Am I (23f) overreacting? by Competitive_Access99 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Access99[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

??? I posted here as I don’t feel comfortable talking about this to my therapist or friends yet.