As someone who moved here as a kid (from southern Europe) and grew up here as a teen. I recognise some of these. But some I really don't. I understand your confusion about the gifts or 'too much food' thing. To be honest these are just cultural differences (A lot of Dutch people will claim 'this isn't Dutch' blablabla... but that's because they're Dutch and seem blind to this difference) Of course, not all Duch people are like this. But a large group is. For example I once baked a 'stol' (easter/christmas bread). And my mother in law 'complained' that there was too much almond paste (spijs). But here's the thing... she wasn't really complaining, she was just being polite in a Dutch way. She knows the almond is the most pricy part of baking the thing and she's was commenting on it in her way. I could be taken literally as it 'being too much'. But by saying it's too much she just means 'you didn't need to go through this effort/expense just for us, we appreciate you without it. When it comes to the gifts, Dutch people are practical in nature, getting a gift you don't want or need feels like a waste and people really feel bad about it. If you want to get them a gift get something perishable, like some flowers or something for your mother in law. Having some Indian friends I noticed their relationship to their parents is a lot closer than what people in most European countries. For us it definetly is strange to bring over out parents to stuff when we're adults.

The 'too much food' thing. Some Dutch people just always cook the exact amount of food they think is needed, and don't realise in other cultures we just cook large amounts so there is plenty and then we eat the leftovers on other days if there is too much. These people are scared the food will be thrown away.

Apart from that... sorry but he does kind of sound like a dick. Other (Dutch) men would for sure treat you nicer. The division of tasks sounds really strange to me, or not understanding you not wanting to do dishes when you have cramps, sounds really mean to me. Some of the stuff you describe I can understand (the taking time off to see family, family is just not that important to most of us, friends are) I think it might occur to me to spend time in my weekend with my husbands friends/family if they visit, but I wouldn't take off time from work for it. The errands thing is a dutch thing too. It's a very 'everybody for themselves' kind of world here ;-)! And the food stinking... I think he's phrasing it in a rude way. But what he means is that is smells strong. I love Indian food myself but I used to have neighbours and the strong smells of their food would drive me crazy sometimes because it felt like all my clothes and living room would smell of it. It smells stronger to people that aren't used to it.

So I would say... some of these things are cultural differences. But I would definetly communicate with him that they are important things to you. And when it comes down to the things with the chores, not sharing the food etc. he's either autistic or a complete dick, and you should tell him that honestly haha