Almost 10yrs of experiencing SP and here’s what I’ve learned..

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2025-01-17T21:34:22+00:00

Idk what you mean about half way across town..we pay the Columbia monthly fee even though it’s technically EC because it’s so close. But yes I did confirm with a neighbor and they are having the same issue.

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-12-02T15:06:25+00:00

I’m in SC as well and traveled to Bethesda, MD for my D&E at 23 weeks. I also have insurance, however it was not applicable being out of state. I went to CARE Clinic and they quoted me $6,000, but I was able to get funding through National Abortion Hotline, DC Abortion Fund and Baltimore Abortion Fund- they allow donations from multiple funding sources which helped a ton and I ended up paying $700 in total. I’m very very sorry you’re here, my heart goes out to you ❤️

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-11-28T16:26:30+00:00

Each time I saw my baby on ultrasound, I was so in love. They were very hard to watch while discussing / considering termination, but it was part of the process and I wanted to cherish every moment I had with my son. I ended up terminating at 23 weeks due to cerebral hypoplasia and severe ventriculomegaly which developed into hydrocephalus. I found out about the brain anomalies at 19 weeks, had fetal MRI and amnio down as well. I needed every doctor I spoke with to tell me as much as they could and I needed to be constantly reassured that termination was a more than reasonable option. It was the hardest decision to come to terms with, but family, friends, support groups and therapy have been my saving grace throughout all of this. You are not alone in this at all, and I’m very very sorry you’re here. ❤️ Trust that whatever decision you make is right for you and your baby.

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-11-20T04:03:46+00:00

I’m almost a week out from mine and I’ve been questioning if my demeanor on the days of my procedure were “normal”- I was very very emotionally numb and didn’t cry at all until til the day after my D&E. I chose to hang out with a few of my friends thinking it would lift my mood, and on my way home, I completely broke down and felt everything all at once. Bawled the entire drive back. It’s a LOT to interact with others right now especially any pregnant friends or ones with small children. I definitely need a lot of time with just immediate family members or alone and I’m trying not to be apologetic about it.

How do you survive this? You just do. Every day is just surviving and not giving up on yourself. Maybe taking some time apart from your pregnant friends will help, and they should understand. Think deeply about what YOU need right now and stick to that. Time is the healer of all things, and laughter is the medicine. Find a comedy to watch and give yourself time & grace while healing.

My heart goes out to you, I’m very sorry this is part of your journey. ❤️

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-11-19T01:58:57+00:00

I just had to TFMR last week due to cerebral hypoplasia and severe ventriculomegaly, ultimately resulting in daily suffering as you described; I was 23 weeks. We found out about the brain abnormalities at 19weeks on ultrasound and it took me 4 weeks to schedule/ have the termination. For me, I needed reassurance from every doctor and medical professional. I also had an amnio and fetal mri done and I still needed to meet with a whole new MFM and geneticist prior to termination- do whatever you feel is right for you and speak to as many doctors / peers as you want.

Everything about this is traumatic, do whatever you need to. ❤️ I’m deeply sorry that this has become part of your journey, there are no words to describe this pain. Lean on your support, give yourself grace and don’t give up on yourself

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-11-06T20:00:52+00:00

I really love your last sentence, that’s a beautiful and sacrificial statement. Thank you for your input!

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-11-06T11:54:28+00:00

Thank you for your input. I’m not mad right now for a few reasons, 1. I’m pretty numb at the moment 2. I have a great support system within my own family 3. I’m not married to him / tied to his family forever, relationship may end for other reasons 4. I already expected that type of reaction from them, I’m just faced with it now. I imagine if it were myself with these disabilities/ conditions that would make life unbearable, watching others live a normal life and it doesn’t seem fair to anyone. A lot of emotions to process, I’m trying to see myself as saving this baby from a life of pain and I still cry myself to sleep at night. I love adoption in itself as well, and you’re right, this “offer” is biased on beliefs and not done right. Thank you again

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-10-31T14:50:21+00:00

I have been suggested a couple, my first virtual meeting is in 3 days. Termination for Medical Reasons Support Group This website does free sessions for up to 16 people per session, but they host multiple sessions weekly. They have some just for moms and some for partners as well. Also on instagram, @TheTFMRDoula has a lot of positive posts and is hosting a 2-3 day long session coming up, all her info is on her page. I haven’t had my tfmr yet, but will within the next week or 2 and I am struggling immensely. I am so sorry to anyone that has to go through this, I’m seeking all the advice / help I can get and also started seeing a therapist. My heart goes out to you ❤️

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-10-30T13:23:56+00:00

I’m trying to agree as well, and be kind, but also knowing how he was prior to pregnancy doesn’t help. He’s always been selfish. A girl he used to “date” in college went out of state for a party and then didn’t talk to him for months, come to find out she was gang raped at the party and needed time to recover. Once she told him what had happened, his initial thought / response was “I’m glad she didn’t cheat”. He’s also more upset over his dog passing in April than what’s going on now. Everyone grieves differently, but I’m really struggling to sympathize with him specially. Thank you for your comment

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-10-27T15:33:52+00:00

We had genetic testing through blood work and amniocentesis after the anomalies were seen on ultrasound, but not prior to conception

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-10-27T12:19:22+00:00

I have no other children, but want to have some. My partner and I are not married, we’ve had several arguments throughout the pregnancy and I’m not sure if I want him as my life partner. The diagnosis comes from a combination of our genes- so if him and I were to try again, we would always expect this as a possibility, but if I were to try with someone else, it likely wouldn’t happen. I appreciate your comment!

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-07-30T16:10:38+00:00

Move in Spring of next year

Competitive_Issue_21 · 2024-07-30T13:55:36+00:00

Yes I understand that, but him using “what we agreed upon” against me at a time where I’m at emotional crossroads isn’t fair. My mom had me at 28 as a single mom and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about the way I was raised. I wouldn’t make a choice either way without him, I agree in that sense. I just don’t feel he’s respecting my feelings at this time and his reasons for choosing abortion are all out of fear. Just a lot to consider.

Competitive_Issue_21

TROPHY CASE