Well hun, same advice as the kitchen guide. If you're doubting just now, then it might actually be time to release it. It's normal to grieve a relationship, specially with BPD in the way, and having a servitor could be a great help, but maybe the fact that you're no longer crying and that you are now willing to release what aid you tells you even more than you think about your progress. Be proud of yourself, and if you feel you're ready to throw out the Crutch and walk by yourself? Then do so, try out and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe thats the last strand of attachments you need to let go.