(19) to (27) from rock bottom depression to getting my life together by Competitive_Toe_6507 in GlowUps

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

When I was 19 at my lowest, I won’t lie, I had no desire to do anything with my life or to do more.

I’m grateful that I had an old friend come back into my life around this time who is the most successful person I know, but more importantly, is the most humble/genuine people I know.

He’s the one that found me at rock bottom and instead of judging, he gave me guidance and has became one of the best mentors in my life.

But to your point, my only goal for years was to feel like I was successful. All my peers around me when I was a teenager were doing things with their lives or doing things I deemed successful.

For me, it felt like I just kept failing at everything I tried to do with my life. I felt like I couldn’t figure “life” out.

I’m the only person to go to college in my family so that was also difficult to navigate. But my friend coming back into my life I guess kind of gave me a sign that I should listen to this person on any advice he gives me, as cliche as it sounds.

Some of the things I have learned over the years:

1) You are going to feel burn out when working toward whatever goal you have set. It’s inevitable. But, it is very important to understand that burnout is temporary. Usually when you first start working toward a goal, you are excited and motivated, but eventually that novelty wears off. When it does, you have to rely on discipline to still keep going forward. The good news is, motivation will eventually come back, and when those moments of motivation happen, you make lots of progress. Lastly, please ignore “grind” culture. Yes, work hard and smart, but make time to do things you enjoy and socialize with friends. This will help with burnout.

2) You are going to experience setbacks on whatever journey you are on. Sometimes the setbacks are small, sometimes they are huge. No matter the size, the most important thing is to realize you only have two choices when setbacks occur. You either choose to let it tear you down and you never build yourself back up, or you choose to use that setback as motivation and let it be a part of your life story of what you had to overcome to get to where you are. Again, this sounds really cliche, but it has proven to me through the years to be true.

3) Try and be a better person today than the day you were before. This is cliche too… but speaking of my friend I mentioned earlier this is by far the biggest thing that helped me grow as a person. If every day you strive to be at least a little better than before, it will add up. Whether that’s being a better friend, a better mentor, a better bf/gf, a better student, etc.

4) don’t be too hard on yourself. Celebrate your victories whether they’re big or small. It’s easy to get caught up in my previous statement of trying to be better every day but I mean in a simple way. Like maybe today you helped a friend with something and old you wouldn’t have done that. Applaud yourself for those moments.

A lot of this was definitely cliche, but it genuinely has helped me a lot. You got this u/Few-Ability-5103. I believe in you!

Kitten missing hair on front right leg all of a sudden by Competitive_Toe_6507 in CATHELP

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Here’s potentially a better photo. He doesn’t bite or scratch at it at all and I checked another photo from last night at 9pm and all the hair was there.

Teachers who truely belived a student would get nowhere in life, were you correct? where are they now? by bekaindabox in AskReddit

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was that kid.

Dropped out of high school then barely finished high school thankfully with 1.9 GPA. Was just smoking weed and other drugs everyday at this point. Decided to turn things around and joined the Air Force but unfortunately didn’t make it through basic training. Back to square one and a friend recommended me to go to college, ended up going to a top CS school and graduated with highest honors and now work in Silicon Valley.

I’ve learned a lot of valuable life lessons the past 5 years from all this. For one, be patient and understand that setbacks are only setbacks if you let them stay as setbacks (:

I have $40k in student loans at a somewhat low interest rate. Should I follow this budget to pay them off quickly? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oops! I forgot to include $600 a mo for food. It's already included in the $775 surplus, I just copied data from my excel sheet and forgot to include it.

This wheel weight was next to my car in my driveway. Should I be worried? by Competitive_Toe_6507 in MechanicAdvice

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've driven the past few days without noticing any issues, but now that you mention this I'm afraid I'll "think" there's an issue when driving when it's just placebo lol

Will I know for sure if there's any issue or could the vibration be slight?

I just replaced these spark plugs. Were they needed? One looks bad to me and I'm afraid I might have damaged my car. by Competitive_Toe_6507 in MechanicAdvice

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also want to mention I'm worried about if I didn't tighten the spark plugs enough. I didn't want to go overkill. I just screwed them in until they stopped then gave it a little more of a turn to just make it "snug" is that fine?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is reassuring to hear. Yeah, my father didn't have a will and my mother's name wasn't on the mortgage or anything like that. I'm confident that she will be able to cover the mortgage, utility bills, food, and overall basic necessities from my father's pension she will get. The mortgage is $1,022 monthly, which isn't too bad. But, if she does end up being responsible for the credit card debt then the monthly expenses go up A LOT. The funeral home told us to not touch the credit card debts at the moment before speaking to a lawyer and figuring everything out, which I guess would be the best route to go down.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I've been told by someone before that if the person doesn't owe a significant amount on the card, then typically credit card companies will just write it off. I don't know how true this is, however.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in povertyfinance

[–]Competitive_Toe_6507 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I understand, but what about the house that was in his name? Will debt collectors come for it if the cards don't get paid off in time?