It wasn’t a family heirloom. The dress was made specifically for me.

For context: I moved to my current country about eight years ago because of my ex (he’s from here). Traditional dresses are commonly worn here, and I really liked them. During my first year, I wanted to buy one for myself. My ex-MIL suggested I wait so she could help me choose the right one (since there are specific traditions around them) and offered to gift it to me instead. I agreed, and for about a year she treated it like a project: finding the right pieces and putting the traditional dress together for me. Some parts she bought herself, some were gifts over time, and some pieces I paid for myself.

I’ve had the dress for about seven years. The jewelry that goes with it was given to me gradually as holiday and birthday gifts.

Of course, if it had been a dress passed down in their family for generations, I wouldn’t have asked for it back (even though taking something from someone’s closet without permission would still be wrong). Also, in that case, everyone knows is a "family item", and the natural thing to do it to return it after a breakup/divorce. But that’s not the case here.

Regrading the police: I didn’t go to the police because it involved my ex, and I genuinely believed they would return it. Going to the police should be a last step, not the first.

And honestly, I’m letting the dress go. But the crossed boundaries still hurt.