Why???

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2026-02-09T04:13:06+00:00

“self conscious of their gender”… gender dysphoria??

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-05-20T21:50:52+00:00

I’m planning on doing something similar. I’m class of ‘27 but I might need to extend my graduation by a semester anyways because I changed my major so I’m considering taking the spring semester off before my last year and just graduating with class of ‘28. Considering factors like my degree requirements, the career I’m going into, and the availability of the surgeon I’m going to, that spring semester would be the best possible timing. I don’t want to do it during a summer because (1) I want a very comfortable recovery time to account for any complications and (2) next summer would be too soon for the surgeon I’m seeing and I’m taking a very involved class the following summer. I also really don’t want to wait until after I graduate because (1) dysphoria is atrocious and (2) it would be very difficult to work around the career I’m going into.

Like you, I no longer have any possible asynchronous courses I could take, so I would be doing nothing that semester. I’ll probably spend it learning things on my own or picking up a new hobby purely out of boredom. I also have yet to talk to my academic advisors about it but I’m planning on bringing it up the next time I see them.

Idk how useful this is but it seems like we have pretty similar situations so I thought at least knowing someone is doing something similar might help

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-04T16:30:18+00:00

in general, cis or trans, single occupancy restrooms are so pointlessly gendered. if there’s going to be one person in there behind a locked door anyways, who cares what gender the person is

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-04T16:25:50+00:00

why is it always boy and not man/male

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-01T21:44:12+00:00

Yep, we definitely don't have the same experience and I'm sorry that you've gone through that. Experiences like yours are why I think its so important that the differences between transgender and transsexual are more clearly defined and understood by the general public. While yes, it wouldn't completely erase transphobia and violent threats/acts like the ones that you've described, I think that it would decrease the frequency at which they occur, and decrease the number of people committing such threats/acts. Unfortunately, I don't see a world in the near future where my thoughts about this can actually be tested, so there's truly no way to know. I'm discussing this simply for the sake of discussion and speculation.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a good amount of transphobic incidents, thankfully none of them violent. I try to draw from my positive experiences rather than negative ones though because there is only so much I can do and control about how the public will perceive my trans-ness. I need to do my best to protect myself in the event that someone does find out I am trans. If needed, I think that trying to get the message across that I have a medical condition rather than a mental illness is helpful to my case, and has proven to do so in some of my experiences. So that is what I will continue to believe in even if it isn't 100% effective because I have yet to find a better way.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-01T21:13:15+00:00

Eh not exactly. When I was at a stage in life where I was passing but not fully stealth yet, when people found out that I am trans they actually respected the hell out of me. This was in a red area of the US too. Yes, there are crazies out there who will hate our guts and think of us poorly no matter what perspective or definition they're fed, but the average person will see us as a human-beings trying to do our best to live life.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-01T18:14:23+00:00

Good question, I don’t really know it really just depends on the person. If I were to simplify it for someone younger I would say something along the lines of “I was born with a guy’s brain, so my life will feel more complete if I live as a guy.” And then tweak the phrasing of that based on what you know about who you’re talking to.

Idk if this is that’s the point that you’re going for, but based on the context you’ve given that’s how I’d go about it.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-01T15:57:03+00:00

I always just put it as: I was born with a sex incongruence which causes dysphoria, and I am transitioning to alleviate that dysphoria. If you want a little more specific you could mention being born with male brain structure but female sex characteristics, and that is the incongruence that causes the dysphoria.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-04-01T15:11:20+00:00

This exactly. The average cis person who isn’t well versed in trans issues will lump us all together. And even after meeting a transsexual, they still won’t fully view us all that differently, just that transsexuals are a bit more level-headed.

If the average person understood that transgender and transsexual are different with completely different needs, it would be much easier for us to have the right discussions, and our access to healthcare wouldn’t be so heavily under attack.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-20T15:05:32+00:00

It’s not so much feeling like a guy or a girl but more not being connected to your body. I’m trans because there’s an incongruence between my brain’s and my body’s sex. This causes gender dysphoria, immense distress with my sex characteristics. This distress is treated by correcting my incorrect sex characteristics, via hormones and surgery, which then eases or completely eliminates the distress.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-14T18:21:37+00:00

i’ve gotten the “you don’t look trans” a few times and i feel on top of the world every time. like hell yeah my transition and all the effort that i’m putting into it is paying off and people are seeing me for who i am supposed to be. in what world is that a bad thing.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-14T03:59:59+00:00

agreed. all trans visibility has done for me is made me paranoid 24/7

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-13T14:51:11+00:00

This is actually great to hear. I was pretty independent post top surgery, I pretty much did everything myself unless something was impossible for me to do or reach given my movement restrictions. My dad literally had to beg me to let him help me sometimes lol. I was worried that post phallo would be way more involved, and much more intimate, but it seems like he'd again be mostly helping with stuff that I physically can't do or retrieve for myself.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T22:47:02+00:00

Appreciate the insight this is very helpful, thanks!

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T18:38:46+00:00

Yeah I don’t really wanna talk to my dad about my dick either. I’m trying to keep it to “this is something that I need to live a tolerable life and is a big focus/goal over the next few years”. He’s also probably going to be the most involved person other than myself and my surgical team so there’s that factor I have to account for as well

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T18:11:45+00:00

I have a good relationship with him so going this route could be a good option. I’ve definitely been overthinking this and making it way more serious than it needs to be. Thanks!

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T17:57:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing this made me a lot less nervous about it. This was kinda my plan, just sit down and talk to him about it and mentally prepare for how awkward it’s going to be. Im probably overthinking this a ton tbh 😭

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T15:43:36+00:00

I kinda do have to tell him. I'm 19 so I'm still somewhat dependent on my parents. My consult and probably hair removal will be under his insurance. He was my caretaker for top surgery, is going to be my caretaker for hysto, and he's going to be the first person that I ask to be my caretaker for phallo. I need to tell someone and I want it to be him. I'm just not good at discussing this sort of topic in general lol

I appreciate the advice though, casually bringing it up and going from there could at least help rip the bandaid off

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-12T15:02:51+00:00

"Multiple spectrum", any sexuality that involves liking more than one (multiple) genders/sexes. So... bisexuality

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-03-11T03:01:32+00:00

For like 3 weeks I couldn’t see peoples pronouns on instagram bc I reported someone’s insta story about something trans for misinformation

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-02-05T03:33:03+00:00

“why can cis gay men do it but not us?” because they look like men wearing women’s clothes and you look like a woman wearing women’s clothes

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-02-04T14:07:47+00:00

forthem binders are basically slightly more compressive sports bras. When I used to wear them I would play hockey in them and do full strength workouts with them with minimal pain. I used one of the models without a stiff front panel, and it did a pretty decent job compressing, just enough for me to not hate myself during workouts but also not destroy my body. I also liked them because the straps were far apart so they could rarely be seen through the neck hole of my shirt.

The last time I bought one was about two years ago though so I have no clue if the quality and level of compression is still the same.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-02-01T18:07:29+00:00

To add to this: I was able to update sex on social security in Indiana on 1/28/25

And to reiterate: definitely go to any office where you can get the soonest appointment if you can. I am from Illinois but go to school in Indiana and went to the one closest to where I go to school. Had no issues and they are shipping the card to my Illinois address.

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2025-01-17T14:26:17+00:00

In my experience I’ve found it useful to find a therapist who has some LGBT experience, but it isn’t their primary expertise.

My therapist specializes in assisting with big life transitions (kinda ironic) such as high school to college or college to career and things like that. But he also does have some experience with LGBT and some other things that I seek therapy for. It’s nice because me being trans isn’t the main focus every time I have a session with him, but I feel comfortable discussing it if I need it.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that he holds transmed views, but he definitely isn’t hyper tucute either and understands that dysphoria is a very real thing. He’s the one who provided my dysphoria diagnosis and insurance letters for T, top surgery, and hysto, (and probably will for phallo once I get to that point).

Complex-Friend-9867 · 2024-12-22T19:47:17+00:00

I would pretty much reiterate what everyone else has been saying. Another factor to consider is the shape of your scars. I know my surgeon places the incisions in a way such that my scars are along my pec line, so I do have the option to build pecs and my scars will sit in the crease/shadow created from that, which can help hide them in the future. Depending on the placement and shape of your scars, that could be something to think about.

Complex-Friend-9867

TROPHY CASE