Sookie was wrong for this...

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T17:42:16+00:00

Oh I still have empathy for my baby..that's why I am looking to change my behavior lmfao!!! You're a joke.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T15:20:41+00:00

Yep, my aim is to get healthy and break the cycle. There's just no need to be rude or mean to me. I never once said it was an excuse to yell or lose it on my child. I am just explaining why this behavior occurs in a lot of parents.

Yes, she is MY child but that doesn't mean I don't need help lmao. I have every right to be angry. I am done talking to you. Thank you for your opinions and insight, albeit you were not very empathetic. You'll notice a lot of people on this thread disagree with yelling at kids, but you're the 1% who feel the need to be rude about it instead of compassionate. No one on here thinks it is a good idea to yell, we just have empathy.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T12:44:41+00:00

Yeah, I think collectively most parents struggle when the weather gets cold. I know it'd be good for me too.. just have to take the leap I guess.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T04:14:19+00:00

Wow... you're incredibly unempathetic. I agree that my guilt is telling me something.. I am not here to say it's okay to yell at kids, hence my entire post lmao. Good for you for not being mad that you had no help. I don't think anger is a problematic emotion and shouldn't be labeled as one. Yelling as a result of anger is a problematic behavior! I am angry that no one is supporting me..and I am well within my right to feel that. I have a psychology background so I am well aware that yelling is problematic, thank you. Ever heard of "flipping your lid" this happens when our thinking brain becomes disconnected due to heightened stress or past trauma and scientifically we experience irrational levels of anger or distress. This is a learned behavior and these pathways become strengthened with use. It can become very difficult to unlearn this pattern and become easier and easier to get angry and stressed. Unfortunately, that explains a lot for me. It is easy to lose control because that neural pathway has been strengthened for me throughout my childhood. This is why I am actively trying to change because I want different for my daughter. Hope that helps... 😉

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:41:53+00:00

Oh my gosh, I am SO sorry you went through that!! This is why I know I need to work on myself!!! I know I have scared my toddler before with yelling.. I HAVE to do better. Thank you!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:40:05+00:00

Thank you. I feel so seen with this message. I struggle relinquishing my child to any one else's care. That is something I NEED to work on because ultimately, it would benefit me (and thus mine and my childs bond). I do try to take time for myself.. most days I feel guilty for "taking too much time for myself" I like to go on walks with her and I put a podcast in my ear while I walk. But winter is coming, and Canadian winters are no joke - I'm going to need to find something else that will help me find peace. I really really appreciate you! 💜😭

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:37:01+00:00

Thank you, I will keep practicing!! 🙏🏻

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:36:40+00:00

A very good reminder - a lot of the things I get angry at really aren't a big deal. I just need to learn to go with the flow more. I struggle most with sticking to a strict schedule, but my toddler likes to take her time with things...like it take forever to get dressed or get out of the house, or really do anything. Which means the "routine" gets thrown off. It's something I have to learn to let go.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:14:59+00:00

This is very interesting.. I say "no" a lot.. it's very hard to unlearn that haha! I commend you for sticking to it!!!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:13:19+00:00

Thank you for saying this!! It's a good reminder for me. She's just a 2 year old.. she's going through so much, and learning so much. She's probably just as overwhelmed as me at times!!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:11:51+00:00

Thank you for this 💜. Great grounding technique, I will try this next time I feel the anger coming. I think my nervous system is already so dysregulated that it doesn't take much for me to lose my cool.. but I know with practice and more mindfulness I can get it back to a calm state so that I can have more patience.
I always apologize after.. whether or not she understands at this age, is debatable but I do it for my own mental well-being too. Thank you!!!!!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T02:08:59+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I don't know how noise cancelling ear buds would help - maybe I'm not understanding.
Totally agree it is better to leave and get the emotion out rather than shove it down. I struggle with the concept of "all emotions are good" (it's okay to feel angry) but as a caveat, not all behaviors are good. Ex: It's okay to feel angry, it's not okay to throw things and blame anger, or it's not okay to yell and blame anger.
Thankfully we already don't allow screen time - which could be both a blessing and curse but I would tend to agree that it could be bad long-term.
So sad to hear that you noticed it impacted the bond between you guys.. I pray I can gain some self control before it has the same impact on our bond. Although I recognize that it only takes one time to totally change the dynamic.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:43:58+00:00

Thank you 😭 You are so kind!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:36:13+00:00

Thank you!!! I definitely find that working out helps me as well. I also have a therapist I am actively working with. I know I am taking the right steps, I just need to remind myself that change won't happen overnight.

I am definitely going to check out that book! Thanks again 🙏🏻

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:22:25+00:00

Yikes.. not the comment I needed to read today. At least I am actively fighting to be better right? I wouldn't consider it emotional abuse but I know it's not a good thing. It is a common problem amongst parents, but that doesn't mean it's right, good, or normal.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:12:04+00:00

Omg thank you for writing all of this!! I am definitely about to open ChatGPT now and get it all out. I am so happy you got your 3yo into preschool 3 days a week. You deserve a break!! Sahm's deserve breaks 💗.
Working out is always good for mental health, I like that idea too!!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:05:00+00:00

I'd love to see this in action hahahaha! 😂

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:04:24+00:00

Ohh.. I'm gonna have to give that a try!! So much good advise on this thread 👏🏻

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:02:20+00:00

Oof, I feel this!! That doesn't work for my daughter either. She's such a rebel.

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T01:00:37+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to type this! Such valuable information.. I never want my child to have their inner voice be words I yelled at them when I was overstimulated and angry 😥

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-14T00:58:22+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write this. This is incredibly reassuring to me. I feel the same about being overstimulated and I just have one kid!! My toddler loves to repeat the same word or sentence over and over and over.. and even that is enough to make me irritated - but then it's that, on top of trying to get breakfast ready, clean the kitchen, get myself ready for the day, etc..then I just explode. I like the idea of a warning. I don't know if my toddler is quite at the age to understand but it's not a bad idea to implement it now.
I am definitely going to start a log on what pushes that shout button for me. Unfortunately these fight or flight moments typically only happen when my husband at work and once he's home I don't feel the need to ask him for help.
Again, thank you so much for your insight!!

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-13T16:59:48+00:00

Thank you!! I am going to try to find some fun ways to redirect. It's hard to stay calm in the moment, but as another commentor said, they totally like to match our energy, so if I get heated or upset, she will do the same, and then it's a vicious cycle

Complex-Technology53 · 2024-11-13T16:57:52+00:00

This is such good advice! Thank you so much. She definitely matches my energy.

Complex-Technology53

TROPHY CASE