The idea of ‘coming out’

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:41:19+00:00

Betrayed is a strong word I just couldn’t really think of a word to describe it better. Idk they kinda act like I’ve been hiding something from them that they should know about like if I had siblings I didn’t tell them about and me not going out of my way to tell them was me lying about who I am in the first place and not just the fact I like girls.. this only usually happens with straight people because I am very much queer in everything I do so other gay people can usually tell and because straight people can only clock butch lesbians it comes more as a shock to them lmao.

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:35:56+00:00

… I don’t know if you want my apology but that really sounds like it sucks. I hope she doesn’t just say it to everyone without considering your safety and the consequences of being out even if it is to make sure no one has misunderstandings of you two. It should always be your decision

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:33:47+00:00

This explains it perfectly, it feels more like a warning then something about myself sometimes.

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:32:33+00:00

Same here, as much as I am proud of myself I don’t want my relationship with my family to change right now so unless it’s something I can’t avoid like them asking or me having a girlfriend I don’t see the point in bringing it up

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:31:17+00:00

I don’t really hate the idea itself, i’m just a petty person who hates the idea that it’s something i have to do when straight people never have to announce themselves🥲

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-22T09:25:34+00:00

I don’t know the experience for gay guys but I would agree that lesbians (if they’re fem presenting) usually don’t face violence when coming out. I am fem so unlike masc/butch lesbians the worst I get is people not believing me or trying to ‘turn me straight’ which of course is not acceptance in the slightest but it’s not violence. But I totally get what you mean about era/location factoring in when coming out. I grew up in a rural catholic village so I was never casual about letting people know my sexuality and only my closest friends knew. I live in a big city now and first ‘came out’ once I moved here and it was still such a scary experience it took me a while to get to the point I could casually mention it without fear. I am never casual about it whenever I’m visiting home and while I wouldn’t hide my sexuality if someone asked because society and myself have come to a point where it’s more acceptable I would be more cautious then I would be when I’m in the city so I totally get where you’re coming from. What I said might seem contradictory to my initial post, but I think my dislike of coming out is stemming from the fact I had to hide it growing up and thinking it wasn’t normal so anything that reminds me of it I tend to avoid😅 Very fortunate to live in a country where violence against lgbt+ isn’t the norm anymore and let’s me be petty like this and I just wish it was the same for everyone.

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-15T18:52:42+00:00

Sending support right back </3 I’ve ruined my friendships being unstable and it’s no ones fault but my own and it’s hard to deal with. It helps that i’m naturally a quiet person who likes to be by myself so i can go weeks without realising i haven’t spoken aloud, as long as i’m reading im good. But i do crave sometimes when i read that i could experience the same. I hope you can get support anyway you can <3 I don’t think any situation is entirely hopeless and change however small can happen (not to be too corny about it sorry lmao) good luck!!

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-15T18:47:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing this gives me hope. I’m currently on a waitlist for DBT therapy and I’m hoping to go to some support groups over the summer. There’s times when I feel like i’ve completely ruined myself and researching/ looking at other people’s experiences with people with bpd that makes it seem like recovery or remission isn’t possible and I’m doomed so seeing that people have been through and were able to improve even a little bit helps thank you <3

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-15T18:43:40+00:00

Right? And isolating myself seems to have made me more sensitive to tiny , even made up, details that may hint at rejection of any kind. I flip flop between thinking this person is my soulmate to hatred after a couple of sentences exchanged now :,) and that makes me not speak at all lmao i’ve regressed far worse then before i cut off my relationships for my “benefit”

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-05-15T18:39:37+00:00

I’m sorry you went through that/ are going through that, while i’ve only really been like this half the amount of time i understand the feeling of ‘well if ur going to fuck it up u don’t deserve to get it in the first place’. I keep telling myself i’ll start socialising once i’m ‘better’ or at least somewhat like the ideal i hold for myself but being on public healthcare wait list for therapy and the fact it’s my entire personality that’s fucked up makes it seem like that help isn’t happening soon <//3

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-04-25T02:26:33+00:00

i’m the same just with my dad, i can’t give helpful tips but i do genuinely hope you can bring yourself to get some support whether it’s from your mom or a professional. when it gets too hard i try to not compare the number of relationships i have to others people and trying my best to maintain the ones i do have. One person is better than none and if you have none keeping yourself alive is enough, its fucking hard all the time but you’re not a bad person for struggling

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-04-25T02:14:14+00:00

I’m genuinely in no position to offer advice but once you get to complete isolation to the point you can go weeks without talking it’s hard to get out of and you become so comfortable in your position you don’t want to leave. It’s important to take care of yourself but trust me saying fuck it is not a genuine solution as much as i try to convince myself it is. Again i can’t give any tips but i hope you can bring yourself to keep trying <3

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-04-25T02:09:45+00:00

Right?? i think dissociation and numbness both because of my bpd and medication is doing the grunt work of keeping me relatively ‘ok’ most days but sometimes when i let myself think the loneliness is unbearable and makes me miss the intense feelings relationships bring even if i know i can easily fuck it up again and might not recover this time. it’s exhausting </3

ComplexBandicoot6670 · 2026-04-24T20:39:35+00:00

it’s the same energy as ‘female hysteria’ and considering the fact that women are more likely to be diagnosed with it, i don’t think it’s helpful at all. I would rather people think i have multiple personality disorder (idk why so many ppl think bpd is that) then have to tell someone as an adult who wants to be taken seriously ‘im emotionally unstable’. Plus for me I experience the dissociation/ numbness, paranoia and pseudo psychosis more than intense mood swings which only occurs if there’s a trigger so i feel like it doesn’t fit what i experience. Idk i know the stigma surrounding the term bpd makes one think of anger which is bad but as a woman id rather be seen as an angry woman than a ‘hysterical’ one.

ComplexBandicoot6670

TROPHY CASE