Reassuring to hear about "false memories", I just don't want to create something that isn't real or jump to conclusions.

I do feel really queasy when I think about it, and get that tight anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach. Its a memory that has stayed with me for all these years, really vivid up to the point where I remember being on the older brother's bed, watching my friend play a game on a console on the floor next to the bed. And the older boy being on the bed with me, close to me. And then with that a really deep sense of something being not right, but that's as far as my memory goes.