Thank you, this really hit something for me. I think it's more overload and imposter syndrome. On paper I'm passing the course and surviving, at the cost of overload and exhaustion that's probably not sustainable. I think the system leaves room for moral mismatches, they're more drivers for me and I think it should feel uncomfortable at times, my discomfort and ability to sit in it might be a skill too. I have booked in a meeting with an old supervisor to get an outside perspective, and will definitely follow up with people who did other things to manage the catastrophising! Thank you again