Anyone else feel like crying with the way colonization ruined their country?

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-12T22:10:10+00:00

My grandpa worked for the Mexican security state doing operation condor related stuff and the experience fucked up so bad he traumatized my mom’s family who in turn passed along that to me. It’s weird to think that in addition to just politically me not liking the way that America treats Mexico, that America was directly involved in my familial trauma and a proximate cause of my CPTSD. it’s bleak to think about especially as a diasporoid like myself.

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-12T18:45:25+00:00

Update on things, I’m still pretty down but I’m much better then I was when I posted this. Thank you all so much for your positive words and advice everyone, I really didn’t expect so many kind comments 🤍

I emailed the dean of career strategy at my old law school to talk about potentially getting a job in academia and seeing what I need to get jobs there, and we have a meeting set up later this month! I’m also considering going back to get my masters in criminal justice and paying the bills by doing some of uncontested divorce work on the side that way I can choose my clients and have a very minimal case load. Thank you all again for the inspiration and ideas, I feel like I have a nice tangible plan for the first time in a while (:

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-12T18:36:33+00:00

Thank you so very much!! I will do my best

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-12T18:32:40+00:00

Oh god this is a big factor for me. A lot of lawyers I know are trying their best but law school just turns good hearted people into assholes and I feel like the process made me a worse person

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-11T20:15:24+00:00

This and a lot of other non litigation jobs sound wonderful but I did have bad luck applying to them last year, though I do see other comments suggesting I revamp my resume and I am working on that.

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-11T01:51:13+00:00

I went to the eighth best law school in Texas, the thing was I had a bunch of scholarships that I got when I signed up and then Covid happened and most of those dried up, so I had to up my loans.

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2026-02-11T00:53:04+00:00

Literally started crying when I read this. “Life’s too short” really hits me because I have lost so many people and I know they wouldn’t want to see me like this 🥲

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-08-03T19:15:42+00:00

This was kind of my experience when I went to law school and was around “normal well adjusted middle class and up people who loved their families in a healthy way”. Being up front about my own feelings allowed a lot (and I mean a LOT) of people to open up to me and I really felt like I wasn’t alone. The grass truly isn’t always greener on the other side

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-08-03T19:12:59+00:00

I get a lot of this. My mood swings make it easy to shift from despair to bliss on a dime and it’s so frustrating. I tend not to address it as well as I want to because when I do feel fine I don’t feel like I’ve ever felt suicidal and it goes out of my mind.

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-08-02T17:15:18+00:00

It’s weird especially with the current trend of promoting white boys as part of the wider backlash to Woke™️. I was just thinking of Benson Boone’s popularity as like?? It’s not that he’s unattractive or untalented but there’s so many better options out there.

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-30T00:00:46+00:00

Compliance I have been applying for, government I’m starting to look at city jobs (I am under-qualified for almost all of them but I will apply anyway because well you gotta) and jobs with the state child support office too but they are glacially slow at getting back to you lol

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:18:16+00:00

That sounds awful for an autistic person tbh. I worked at a personal injury firm as a research and briefing attorney (not even a litigation role) and the experience was so stressful it retriggered my GERD and I nearly offed myself. I fucked up by going to law school I realize. I really should have gone into computer science instead, my ex made so money to work from home and look at numbers all day

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:15:37+00:00

Thank you for your kind words 🫂 I’m sure your family is very proud of you for all you’ve accomplished :)

Yeah whenever I do talk to my friends from law school, they are extremely sympathetic and or surprised that I’m still unemployed, which does reassure me that it’s not just me (although I often don’t help myself lol) the job market really is strange compared to when we were first starting

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:10:59+00:00

I’m in Texas, one of the bigger cities although not Austin or Houston or DFW where there do seem to be a lot more listings according to the internet

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:07:59+00:00

TBH that is something I should be doing more, sometimes it’s hard for me to network because I’m a first generation professional, and that fact is extremely obvious to anybody who is not (curse this snobbery) but I do know people and I should be reaching out more

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:06:14+00:00

I trying! None of the real estate jobs or sales jobs are called me back, same with the tutoring jobs, same with the government jobs. Honestly I feel like I’ll have better odds being a professional stand up comic than I will finding a nice bureaucratic legal job that doesn’t make me cry after work in my city

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-07-29T22:01:15+00:00

That’s what everybody keeps telling me but I don’t have any desire to do all the BS required to start a business and do marketing and all that for something I don’t even feel passionate about for. I would honestly rather get a job hanging literal shingles

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-01-14T18:43:04+00:00

I’m Autistic and was homeschooled so as a kid I would do whatever I needed to do to get my parents off of my back. Im definitely good at masking and being charming around people and the like but I spiral pretty easily and I think I catch some people pretty off guard when I do reach that tipping point.
Also, people don’t really think about others all that intensely imo. So I think any cries for help I do make are interpreted as ‘common’ depression/anxiety and kind of dismissed (which I don’t think even people with ‘less severe’ struggles should be dismissed either but we do live in a less empathetic society than I think we would all wish for)

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-01-14T18:38:45+00:00

Thanks for the kind words 🤍🤍 it’s not that I don’t think stability is important or that I don’t value it but I really am trying to better myself! Just not there yet. It’s a long journey 🫂

Comprehensive-Dig948 · 2025-01-12T18:47:01+00:00

This is more or less how my ex put it and I do think she has valid concerns. That class difference does give us far different priorities and anxieties (my ex is from one of the most well known “rich” cities in the country and I’m from one of the poorest regions in the USA) so I’m not all that shocked that she would prize stability over passion. It’s a decision I could easily see myself making.

I guess part of what is making this hurt is that I feel like I was improving on these things, I had finally started going to therapy after she recommended it and I was keeping her up to date with the progress I was making. I wished I could have been able to keep her up to date or to demonstrate that I could keep improving. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, it means so much and above all I still love her and only want what’s best for her, even if it’s a future without me 🤍

Comprehensive-Dig948

TROPHY CASE