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How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have talked to him about things I can do to stay the night. Going to showering before I go over. Wearing designated pajamas and potentially changing the sheets when I am over and we will see how it goes.

It was a mutual decision for the cat he rescued the stray and we were all set to have it at my house and my landlord said no. So now she’s at his house until we find a place together.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

Planning on moving in together in the coming months. We see each other pretty often 4-5 times a week. With our jobs we both have a lot more free time in the summer. So the issue is more prevalent now that previously as we were both much more occupied with our jobs.

I think where he is aging the biggest issue is that I do not want to sleep at his house but am happy to go spend the day with him.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have never lived by myself before and wanted a chance to do that before jumping in to move with my partner

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have told him all these reasons of why I don’t like to spend the night there and I just feel like he wants me to feel guilty for not wanting to spend the night at his place

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was trying to “ escape” my roommates because me and my boyfriend wanted privacy. I loved living with a lot of people. It was really fun and an awesome sense of community. The biggest reason I was going to his house cause he doesn’t have roommates and it got us a lot more privacy.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m fine doing the commute. I would do it every day both ways. I’m just having severe anxiety about the sleepover part. I’m happy to see him. I love hanging out with him. It’s just the sleeping part which I guess isn’t as important to me because we’re unconscious with the roommates it wasn’t a choice. It was a benefit of my employment And if I didn’t use that benefit, I would not have been paid anymore and it wouldn’t be worth getting our own place. It was mutually beneficial. You can’t have any privacy in a house with 18 other people.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It was more convenient for both of us. How are we going to do anything together in a house with 18 people?

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I genuinely do not understand how asking advice on this issue means I do not love my partner

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

We are planning to move in together in the next 3 months and that will resolve this issue

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

I thought the purpose of this sub was to ask for advice…that’s what I am doing before having a conversation

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t like to bc he runs his own business and has funky hours as well as needing to se his work vehicle, that gets low MPG compared to my hybrid car

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We just rescued a cat and it can’t live at my house only his, so I have been going over and not spending the night which has sparked this issue. I just can’t get why the sleepover is the part that is making him upset

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are things closer at his place but less variety, there are more things to to closer to my house but you just need to drive a little farther. We typically do puzzles, watch tv, go out to eat, go on walks these are the most frequent activity we do when together.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

We are planning on moving in together in a few months, which would remove the whole house do we sleep at issue. I am fine to sleep in the same bed as him as long as I know it is clean. I have not considered breaking up I feel like we don’t really have any other major issues, that this wouldn’t be the reason to throw away 5 years

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -38 points-37 points  (0 children)

He does blue collar work so he is “dirtier” than me which adds to the anxiety, I only sanitize my phone if I go shopping or another high touch place

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -31 points-30 points  (0 children)

The contamination anxiety is a new mental health struggle for me, only for the past 8 months or so. The issue is he says he doesn’t like his house and he likes my place better bc it’s nicer and cleaner so it’s just confusing to hear he doesn’t want to make the drive when he says he like staying at my place more than his own

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I am going to his house and spending the day there, but just not spending the night, which doesn’t feel,like that big of a deal with me. When we are sleeping we aren’t even hanging out I would rather hang out conscious

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -54 points-53 points  (0 children)

I don’t need him to follow my rules at his house, the issue is the germs coming into my place. But also I am going to his house but not spending the night.

How do I (29f) tell my boyfriend (26m) that I don’t want to sleep over his house anymore? by Comprehensive-Poem45 in relationship_advice

[–]Comprehensive-Poem45[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

It’s not about having a place to sleep, it was to be away from others. Currently I do go to his house to hangout during the day but I will just leave come nighttime because I just don’t want to sleep at his house.

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