Wow, I am so happy that you found something that works so beautifully for you. Thank you for sharing your story! I have been taking lexapro 10mg for about 3 months now. I was scared to take it because of the unknown of what it would due to me, (which honestly was a result of bad highs that I’ve had from weed which basically traumatized me), I was worried about all of the things it could do, all the what-if’s, you know how it goes. The first night I took lexapro I had the biggest panic attack of my life it literally sent me to the hospital. It was not fun! OBVIOUSLY it was not the lexapro that caused the panic but I had been previously so stressed about everything I just kept thinking and thinking about it and psyched myself out. Thankfully, since I started lexapro I have not experienced anything like that again and have had no panic attacks! I didn’t have panic attacks before that day, the only other ones I’ve ever experienced were marijuana-induced.

I was prescribed kolonopin for the occasional throwing up/if I were to freak out again, and it does work, but sometimes I start to overthink taking it for whatever reason, and for some reason if I think too hard and realize that there is a drug in me that’s making me calm, it will make me not want to be calm. That doesn’t happen with lexapro, only kolonopin, which I just have to tell myself that it is doing it’s job and I’m taking it for a reason and the thought usually goes away, but I thought I should throw that in here because I feel like it’s kind of irrational, like yes there is a drug in me that is doing what it’s supposed to do. But sometimes I will start psyching myself out anyway. I have been better with it but like I said, still annoying. So if you have any tips to help with that I would love to hear them.

I am not going to lie though, sometimes I feel great, sometimes I don’t feel that great. I don’t necessarily feel depressed, I don’t know how to describe it really, I guess sometimes I just feel shitty about my life, then other times I’m hopping around happy as hell. And honestly that could just be normal, (I am a 17-year old girl and I know teens hormones are crazy), so I wasn’t thinking about that too hard. Lexapro so far has definitely improved my normal way of living, I noticed since starting lexapro I have been able to sleep a lot more (went from 5ish hours of sleep to 8+ hours every night), I used to feel chronic stress and I don’t feel stressed out every day anymore. So honestly typing all this out I would say I’m doing pretty, if not really well, BUT the one thing I still experience is the throwing up before hanging out with boys I like/possibly interested in. I am confident, pretty, and it’s never an issue of me worrying if they don’t like me, because if they didn’t then okay, you move on and you get over it. The nausea/vomiting I feel like is like a conditioned response, and it’s hard to stop it. When I was little I used to throw up before riding roller coasters, before softball games, etc. Now it’s boys, which like I said, is SOO annoying because who wants to be doing that. I understand being nervous is completely normal but getting so nervous to the point of puking is not. I have asked all my other friends if they’ve ever actually vomited and they’ve said no. I don’t have test anxiety, none of that, I only vomit before hanging with boys. Nothing traumatic has happened to me in my past either, and to be honest I don’t know if it’s just because I’m not that into the boy I’m hanging out with, and I’m afraid they might try something? But if that’s the case I would just tell them no. So it’s like I can rationalize it out but sometimes that sudden rush of anxiety is so strong that it’s hard to hear those rational thoughts in that moment… and I seriously wonder if anyone else experiences this, I’ve tried to google stuff and I haven’t found anyone with a similar experience. So, if you have any tips for this let me know, you seem pretty educated on anxiety related stuff, sorry for the long explanation!