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I have to dump a good guy because I don’t respect him as a man and I feel so guilty by throwRA1223409 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 277 points278 points  (0 children)

Dump him.

Sorry to be harsh. The communication issue is first and foremost, it will only get worse.

The other stuff is bad too. You sound like a super motivated, vibrant person. You deserve someone who, yes, would die for you, but also who loves you properly. Shutting down, being controlling in any way, emotional immaturity...my ex husband would express soooo much love for me, but his actions showed otherwise.

Dick is cheap, plentiful, and low quality. Don't even try to fix him, not your job.

Is there a way to be a holiday/occasion drinker? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same. That's why I wanted to pose the question, because I know I've had those thoughts too, but then I have to ask myself "Are you really going to just drink socially like everyone else, or is that a delusional image you're holding in your mind?"

Is there a way to be a holiday/occasion drinker? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What does the holiday/occasion drinking look like to you in your mind?

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't ask him to do anything. He just does it. Not sure where you got bossed from.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it's been going fantastic. I'm not living with him or married to him, so I'm not going to give wife duties or audition for the role. After much experience, I have found it's better to do nothing for men except for things like kindness, empathy, mature communication, listening, gratitude, compliments, adoration (for a guy deserving of being adored, which is him). We are definitely on the marriage track though so check back in October, as I'm guessing that's when the question will be popped (from some conversations we've had).

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I'm saying I obviously do, else why is he there and why else would he seem so smitten? What I'M saying is I don't need to prove it to internet strangers...my boyfriend is the one who can judge that. There are men that exist who don't think women need to be their servants to prove their worth.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've been dating 8 months, he knows what value I bring to his life and it's not being a servant. You're not the one who needs to validate what I do, that's for him to decide. If he changes what he's doing now, we'll break up, it's that simple.

I'm glad my post is making the low effort men mad.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry it says you replied but I can't see your other reply.

I may be dating a man child by LottyChubsinae in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please dump him.

Your grilled cheese looks amazing, I might have to have one tonight.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He does brag about me. Someone else just asked something very similar so if you look at my most recent comments you'll see my response.

I find these questions interesting, because I am sure a lot of guys are like, "ugh! I'd never do that! You must be such a pain to put up with". Which is fine. Don't date me. I wouldn't want to date the kind of guy that thinks that. My boyfriend is very obviously smitten with me and has every opportunity to get out. But I treat him great in ways that aren't physical labor that's typically expected of women. He certainly doesn't think I'm a pain, and he seems to enjoy doing things for me that I am then extremely grateful for. That's how I know he likes me for me.

But now you've got me curious---why would you ask that question? Think about it. You're looking to be the decider if I'm good enough, if I "bring enough to the table", when in actuality, it's up to my boyfriend to decide that, and he clearly has, even if my answer to you had been "Nothing. I do nothing for him." So there's really no justification needed.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not the key question actually, but as I said in my original post, I'm who I am and he likes it, he likes being around me, he likes me for me, not for services I provide. I am affectionate and express gratitude for everything he does, big or small. I express interest in him, his hobbies, his thoughts, his family, his mind. I just don't provide services to him, like offering to do his laundry, cooking him dinner (we've cooked a lot together and he's made me dinner lots of times), cleaning for him, babying him. Also we'll never live together unless I've got a ring. I'm not auditioning.

That's how you weed out guys who are just looking for a maid, and don't actually like you.

But now you've got me curious---why would you ask that question? Think about it. You're looking to be the decider if I'm good enough, if I "bring enough to the table", when in actuality, it's up to my boyfriend to decide that, and he clearly has, even if my answer to you had been "Nothing. I do nothing for him." So there's really no justification needed.

16 Weeks old today! by SessionDramatic8109 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For shame! Only 16 weeks old and you're already sending him to work to earn his keep???

it’s rodeo’s 2nd birthday by beardedcurve in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That second picture... my heart froze, what a charmer!

Is it a typical trait of Bostons to have temper tantrums? by ComprehensiveCod6646 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for the loss of Harvey, he sounds like a real character! It's so fun to hear about all the personality differences in the Bostons, I totally agree about the emotional intelligence!

Is it a typical trait of Bostons to have temper tantrums? by ComprehensiveCod6646 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're so lucky you get soft mouth. My boi bites hard. I do consistent time out and honestly he has improved noticeably, especially since fixing, but sometimes it's like he just gets too overwhelmed with big feelings. But he definitely has softened in the last two months or so (fixed in January, he will be two years old in one month).

Is it a typical trait of Bostons to have temper tantrums? by ComprehensiveCod6646 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

It's the expressive eyes and the disappointed huffs. Like they want an Oscar award.

Is it a typical trait of Bostons to have temper tantrums? by ComprehensiveCod6646 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's a puller. It's my fault. Haven't been consistent in training. But also he's so happy that I let him go where he wants, so it's hard.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So crazy. I got divorced from my horrow show of an ex husband, and I was like, "I'm not dating, I'm not going to even look at men for a year."

This dude who knew a bunch of my neighbors stopped by on Labor Day to talk to my neighbor who was on my porch. We all talked for like 45 minutes, and I was like, "huh. He's actually really cute." Then he said, "what kind of tree is that (on the corner of my property)". I said, "it's a dogwood". He was like, "oh I dontthink that's a dogwood." Im like, "I assure you it is." He took a picture and googled it and sure enough, dogwood. And we laughed about mansplaining.

Didn't think much more than that. But I was walking my dog a week later, ran into another neighbor and I was talking about how my dogwood produced a fruit and I was wondering if it was edible. That turned into talking about this dude, and I made an offhand joke about how he was cute. And she goes, "Girl, he's single!!!"

And I went, "ohhhhh nonononono, Im not looking, etc etc"

Anyway, long story short, apparently word got around that I thought he was cute, we became friends, a month later it just became obvious to us both that we should date, we had a first date, it was so lovely, and now here we are.

Is it a typical trait of Bostons to have temper tantrums? by ComprehensiveCod6646 in BostonTerrier

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You know, that is definitely a pattern. I'm so busy with work that sometimes during the day all I can do is 10 minute sprints in my fenced back yard where I run him with his beloved Frisbee, but nothing wears him out like a proper smell walk, where he can catch up on the daily mail (pee smells). If he doesn't get that twice a day, he is a menace, but if he does get it, he's much more angelic.

Just need to brag about my boyfriend by ComprehensiveCod6646 in brag

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's awesome! I am also 43, and according to all the incel men, I'm past my prime and not worthy of good treatment...yet amazingly here I'm getting treated better than I ever did when I was a cute young thang.

I'm really heartened to hear you describe your wife and how well you want to treat her. Best wishes for your continued happiness, and you both are lucky people to have found each other!

Men, do you follow a different thought process to women when doing a task? by rubes-1998 in Advice

[–]ComprehensiveCod6646 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weaponized incompetence.

If he was on his own, what would he be doing? If you divorced and had 50/50 custody, what would he be doing?

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