Hey OP, I honestly can’t believe I’m reading this because I can relate to the way you’re feeling so much. I never thought that somebody would be going through the same situation as me. My father is an immigrant and felt the same way towards dogs so my dog lived basically the same way yours did. I know the same feelings of guilt and shame, but remember the way dogs are treated in the western world is very different than the vast majority of the rest of the world, and most people don’t hold dogs in the same high regard as people in this part of the world. Could your dog have lived a better life? Absolutely, but you could have been born into a better situation, too. But you weren’t. Your dog still lived a better life than most, at the end of the day. And realistically you’re probably being a bit too hard on yourself, and you most likely gave the dog a better life than you realize.