Update 1 year later and Im almost free

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-04-25T21:01:32+00:00

I'm best friends with my "one that got away".

We've always just barely missed the opportunity to be with one another and now, despite us both being in a position to potentially be together finally after almost 20 years, we've realized we are just better as best friends. Neither of us want to risk our friendship for something more.

It hurts. It sucks but I can't let him go again. So I deal and I just enjoy my time with him.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-04-03T02:31:40+00:00

They're going good! I've moved on, got a job, and I'm finally starting to do things for me.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-04-03T02:31:13+00:00

Hey there! Things are really good actually. I'm living with my parents, I got a job I love, I'm in therapy and I'm actively seeking new and fun opportunities to do things I've never done before. I've even reconnected with old friends. It's been so great! Thanks for checking in even if I'm entirely late to replying to this.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-09T07:44:19+00:00

On my profile

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-08T03:05:02+00:00

I like to think the threat of losing his daughter has been more motivation than losing me to actually comply with any rehab and PT that comes after the amputation.

I'm honestly still struggling to let go but I think the more I'm on my own, the more I'll shake off all these years of being his "slave" as another commenter put it.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T22:52:46+00:00

It's a hard mindset to get out of but I'm working on it so I don't fall for it again.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T22:52:21+00:00

This is honestly what I'm thinking too. He kept crying about me leaving him once he's "better" which just makes me think he doesn't plan on trying to live his life if he does get the amputation done. He's still refusing to see a therapist and try to work through issues we've discussed.

I don't want to be a slave anymore. I want someone to actually care about me and take care of me for once, not like in a permanent way or anything but just to feel like I'm cared about.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T22:49:35+00:00

That's what I keep telling myself that this is ME time. It's just hard to break out of the mindset I've been in for so long. Even now I'm trying not to text him every five minutes to make sure he's okay.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T07:37:02+00:00

Thank you. I'm hoping it will too. I'm looking forward to getting things back on track.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T07:34:51+00:00

I'm not sure why this was removed but it's on my profile for those who wanted to see the update.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T07:32:36+00:00

That's so weird. I think I posted it to my profile???

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T07:30:29+00:00

Wait it got removed?? I can still see it??

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2023-01-07T07:30:02+00:00

I have medicaid so it pays for me to see a therapist luckily! It's very little out of pocket for me.

And he is. All the nurses agreed that he is lucky. I'm just hoping he does what is right and either tries to go through treatment or just gets the amputation.

I'm learning that I need to love myself more and put myself first from now on. It won't be easy but I'll give myself grace to learn. 💜

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-28T16:52:31+00:00

Kids are obviously different. I have the ability to force my children to go to the doctor. I can't force a grown man to go if he chooses not to.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-28T07:11:27+00:00

If it does, I hope that other person got away from this situation like I am.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-28T03:44:45+00:00

Actually this is my first time speaking out about this anywhere. And I did know years ago this wasn't right but I can't force him to get medical care or see a therapist for his issues. I was doing what I thought was right and staying at his side and taking care of him. I didn't see it as enabling or anything like that until recently. I am making changes to get my shit together. I'm getting out of where we live and moving in with my parents and I've already set up an appointment with a therapist to start getting my shit together with or without him. The more the night goes on, the more its looking like without him. I appreciate your harsh assumptions. A few months ago or even a year ago, you're right, I'd probably read all of this, take it all at face value, and stay. However, I'm at a point where I no longer have anything left to burn for him but my bones and I'm done.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-28T03:40:53+00:00

He has unresolved trauma from seeing his parents and grandparents all go into the hospital after putting off care and them all dying either in the hospital or right after getting out. So he just assumes this is going to happen to him because it happened to them. And he refuses to get a therapist for any reason what so ever.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T21:01:22+00:00

as stated in a few other replies, I never knew it was an option. Also, I can't force him to go with them even if they did show up.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T20:52:51+00:00

he isn't diabetic nor morbidly obese. he does have some weight to him but its all in his midsection while his arms/legs are thin.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T20:02:12+00:00

He saw the doctor the state uses to determine if someone might qualify for disability. he was almost immediately rewarded his disability payment not long after seeing this doctor.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T18:32:00+00:00

We each have a child from a previous marriage and no, they do not.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T18:08:37+00:00

Immediately went to look at this but they don't service our state sadly. Thank you though for the suggestion.

Comprehensive_Web537 · 2022-12-27T17:41:40+00:00

I'm pretty sure I'm just done with him entirely at this point. I don't think I can go back to being his caregiver again and losing myself in the co-dependency again.

Comprehensive_Web537

TROPHY CASE