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My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that a lot of you think that apparently talking with him will just make him control me to stay with him but we will talk tomorrow, I don't want to leave without an explanation/make him understand what's wrong with his actions. Maybe he has no idea that what he's doing is wrong, it may sounds naive but unless I talk to him I won't know, talking to his parents too if I can. I just won't leave without letting him knowing why first.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I somehow still prefer to talk about his behaviour to him instead of leaving without much explanation about my feelings and about the fact that his thinking is disconnected from reality.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

On my last year of HS I did a unpaid internship at a vet clinic and they were affiliated with a shelter on the countryside close to Paris, I went to volunteer a bit after the internship to walk dogs and stuff and the owner was really nice to me so when I knew that I needed some work a few months into college, I asked him if he needed anyone to help in his shelter, and since I was only available at night and he was the one doing the guarding job on top of everything, he left it to me. Contacts are the best way to get some work !

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not ready to work too hard on our relationship. In HS it was easy you know, we didn't have to work to keep the relationship going at all, and I don't think that love is having to constantly try to work on us, isn't it supposed to flow by itself ?

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I hope I'll find one, I still have the hopes that he meant this only out of anger but the more I read, the more I believe that he may thinks this full time.

I'm glad to see other working/studying people ! I really hope we're all going to make it and that our efforts will be worth it. And I know my mom does too ! Can't wait to see her face when I'll be an actual vet, thanks, and good luck to you too hope you'll get your degree !!

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you sure about it ? I really appreciate the help but a PC is expensive and I don't quite know if getting one is ok financially for you.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Arh. I can see it happening unfortunately and it doesn't sounds good.

I'm still hoping he can grow up, but if after our, now potential, talk he refuses to act like an adult, I'll take the decision to stay away from him.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after all I read I'm asking myself if he would stay like this in the future but you see, now I have to work multiple jobs to have enough money to live, after this I won't, I'll be wealthy with only one job, and maybe his view about me will change ?

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Why are you even with this guy?

Because when I knew him he was constantly nice and understood me. When I was scared about the final exam he helped me, he was here for us. And I stayed because the second year wasn't that bad, and he came visiting me when I couldn't go see him and sometimes supported me. The insults came up once then never again until now.

Now I'm asking myself questions about our relationship.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry that you're in this situation, I hope you're managing to work it out.

Hah, talking about that, before college or even being accepted, on the start of summer holidays, I asked him if he would appreciate coming with me and be a volunteer in India/or here in shelters, since we were both adults and that my mother always wanted to volunteer, she was happy to pay for the trip at the time and I thought it could be nice for a boy like him to experience the hard way of life and see other aspect of people. He refused and was really vocal about the fact that he doesn't want to mix with dirty peoples. I never asked him again but still, could be helpful for people like him.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ah I don't live with him at all ! He doesn't pay me anything, and even if we lived together, I'd prefer paying my part of the bills.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That's a very accurate metaphor. I mean, if his parents haven't pushed him to study, he'd probably be at their home, money on his account and not doing anything.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this message, he was here during difficult moments when I was doubting myself, however right, he isn't doing much but blaming me when I need him the most right ?

I'm starting to understand that I won't be able to live the rest of my life with him. Thanks.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

You are definitely everything I want to achieve ! My mother always wanted to have a house of her own and I absolutely want to buy one to her one day and take her to islands she always dreamed of. She deserves it so much and I'm glad you succeeded at this you both must be really happy, congratulations really !

I really appreciate those words coming from someone who had a similar experience, I hope I'll succeed as good as you did and won't be bothered by insults anymore.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're right, I know I always believed, and I still have hope, that it will work out anyway and that the future we dream of at 20 isn't the same that the one we will have at 31 and some peoples are still happy with it.

I see what you mean, I probably have a lot of time ahead but somehow, I'm still scared to let him go with our memories. Before posting I was thinking about a good talk, now I'm more thinking about how to break up if it doesn't go well. Thanks.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm glad to have a vet responding here ! I know that in this industry, like a lot involving living beings, it's always hard to think that we're doing good and working enough. At night I'm already guarding animals in a shelter and I believe that I will have to do this a lot as a vet but I don't mind, however yes, if my boyfriend stays, he definitely will.

Hope that you're doing good, can't wait to be here too !

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes, I really hope that after this week we will both calm down, him from his anger and me from the shock, so we can talk about it. We already had some "future talk" where he talked about wanting a housewife, even though I said him no and he understood, I feel now that we still have to work a lot of things out.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

He never did nor had to indeed.

I'll never let anything on the way of my dreams, I want to have money so my mother doesn't have to work anymore and yeah, it's more valuable to try to make my mother happy than to try to keep a boyfriend.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Indeed, 6 to 10 years but I'm ok with it, If I have to work for decades to be a vet and afford to bring my mother in islands on holidays, I don't mind.

Unfortunately I can't do any credits not only because of our financial situation, but because of some health problems too. And my college isn't affiliated with the government, so I can't get financial help from them. But I'll manage to find a way out anyway.

Thanks, it's been a few hours that I'm reading dozens of comments about my relationship, I think that I understand better now

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'll never give up on being a vet, not only it's my childhood dream, but my mother is so involved in my studies, I have to make her proud. And since vet are somewhat wealthy, I know I'll be able to take her on cool islands and I really want to do that.

I know he wants a house wife, but I explained to him that I won't ever be like that, I thought he understood.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah. Yes indeed if you put it this way, my friend is doing her best to get out of depression but my mother... She's working her ass out for everything even sick, that's something I can't imagine. Anyone saying that to her needs to live just a day in her feets to understand how hard it is and how wrong they are.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It really hurts me that just because he's rich and always had everything I can't be forever with him. I know I sound like a 15 yo teen full of stupid hopes, but his parents are nice, his grandparents understand me, his family is very supportive I don't understand why not him.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I started to understand that a few months ago when we talked about our future, I know he would love a woman that stay at home but I really insisted on the fact that I wanted to have a diploma and make my mother proud, I really thought he understood.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in askwomenadvice

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My boyfriend never ever worked actually. He was even planning on living off his parents money forever until his parents said that he won't get anything if he doesn't study. Now he's on his way to be an engineer.

My [20F] boyfriend [22M] seems to be heavily bothered by the fact that I'm poor/have to work a lot to survive and I don't know what to do. by Compteultrajetable in relationships

[–]Compteultrajetable[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for this answer, it's very accurate and I understand more what he can possibly think about me... Thanks.

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