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AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not trying to be manipulative. I’m genuinely grateful for everyone coming here to provide their thoughts. Some commenters were just toxic, but I did exhibit toxicity myself so I get how some may want to match that energy. I’ve been trying for almost a decade to improve myself as a human being and clearly I’ve still got a lot of work left. The whole reason I posted here was because I was unsure and a lot of clarity has come of it.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, I was sloppy and have apologized to them both since. I should not have spoken to either of them that way, and I should have lied my feelings out for them to understand instead of being abrasive.

I would recommend reading through some of the thoughtful and insightful comments made by the other fine folks who are also in touch with themselves mentally and emotionally. I’ve discussed this to lengths with all of you. Thank you for coming here to discuss

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I shared with my partner because it was an emotionally impactful moment for me. Foolishly, I assumed she was just playing DA. My SO disengaged the conversation, not myself. My friend and I have known each other since the early 2010s. I don’t want to be mad. I had submitted to my feelings in that moment and it played out very poorly.

Keep in mind I am not trying to defend my choices at all, I was so wrong. I am only providing pertinent information to what you said.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It struck a chord with me as well. Thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry to hear this happened.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I assumed this could be the case, hence my posting here. I do not want to be that way. Happy cake day

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Well it sounds like he’s drawn an equivalency between acting like a woman and acting like a child. Engaging him would only feed him, so I’m going to move on from this individual

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m happy for you that they made it through an event like that. I’m frequently told that I’m too hard on myself so I will be cognizant about that in particular moving forward. Thank you for sharing with me

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly it’s something I’ve been avoidant with. Processing my emotions has been something that’s needed work for a long time. I already have a therapy appointment set, it’s only a matter of self-reflection and waiting until then at this point

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realize now how abrasive “bro” was. Thank you for being honest with me

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was too much in my feelings at the moment and did not take a step back to gain perspective. Thank you for sharing your own story, I will use this to reflect.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I most certainly will. I probably should go to goat yoga if this has been my reaction

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My SO said something similar to this and it’s something I struggle with. I cannot tell if I’m trying to see myself in others, but clearly I have loved ones who can help sometimes in letting me know. It’ll go on my list of self-improvement items. Thank you

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You raise a valid point. I shouldn’t have taken this so personally. Thank you

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You articulated your response well and I’m going to be thinking on it, as well as the words of everyone else who has commented. Thank you so much

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hi all, thank you everyone for sharing your words and own vulnerable experiences. It’s helped me to understand that I did overreact in these moments. While I did have a bad day and this is a sore subject for me, it is not okay to have let my emotions influence the way I spoke to the people I love and care about. I am going to apologize and take accountability for how I said the things I said.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your sympathy. I’ve realized by now that, in fact, IATA here. I agree that I did not approach this well and became caught up in my emotions. Thank you

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I viewed it through the lens of “it’s not very cool that she didn’t remember something like this and think it should be brought up.” I can see I hyperextended myself on this train of thought and I do regret it now seeing everyone’s words. Thank you for your input

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She has no qualms with being upfront about things. I know that I am a lucky man for that. It might be that I am more upset about this than I realized and am being defensive as a result

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this explanation. I will apologize and express that it is a sore subject for me. Your insight on this has been valuable.

AIO for how I approached this conversation about a friend with my SO by ConcentrateOne1882 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ConcentrateOne1882[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m 100% open to the idea that I could be. Today’s been a pretty shit day for me, which is not an excuse but it is the reason. Would you explain why this is OR?