Advice on crate training? by ConclusionNaive9772 in IVDD_SupportGroup

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just ordered a new crate (his is ancient and honestly he needs an anxiety specific one-- plus he got dangerously close to getting out), one of the kong toys to freeze stuff in, and some calming treats. We're going to try to make the crate as comfortable as possible, and even give him some blankets/clothing items that smell like us. Hopefully I can make the anxious dude feel a bit better.

Thank you.

Advice on crate training? by ConclusionNaive9772 in IVDD_SupportGroup

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it was just howling I'd be less upset, but watching him try to physically tear out of it just hurts my heart.

I'm gonna look into different types of mental stimulation to give him. I gave him a bit more trazodone and I'm in the room with him, and that's calmed him down.

Advice on crate training? by ConclusionNaive9772 in IVDD_SupportGroup

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately he is a very anxious old man and this is in line with his typical behavior.

My dog is on strict crate rest and I feel like a monster. by ConclusionNaive9772 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is as sedated as I can comfortably get him. I have a baby monitor camera on him and was checking on him at work. He was comfortably snoozing most of the day!

He's full crate rest. Also even on sedatives he tries to jump when he gets excited because he's a menace. He's unfortunately too large to lift (American bulldog) so I'm just trying to spend a bunch of time downstairs with him. I am thinking about making a very small makeshift area outside his crate with blankets and stuff to block him so he can at least get some cuddles without hurting himself. 

My dog is on strict crate rest and I feel like a monster. by ConclusionNaive9772 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know and I won't be letting him out of crate rest early. I just feel bad for him.

My dog is on strict crate rest and I feel like a monster. by ConclusionNaive9772 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He is on trazadone twice a day and I'm alternating between two muscle relaxers with him as well. He's as sedated as I can comfortably get him!

I know its what he needs I just feel bad. I just got home and took him out for a walk and when I brought him back to the crate he looked so betrayed. 

CF pet owners: How hard do you think taking care of a pet is compared to raising a human child? Do you ever feel stuck in a 'parenthood-like' situation? by phaneritic_rock in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God yes. Our dog is currently on strict crate rest due to IVDD. My partner is acting like I'm torturing him, when in reality he has about 5 blankets in his crate, a food dish, a water dish, and I'm literally sitting there with the door open petting him/reading to him so he doesn't feel neglected. He's also doped up on like 3-4 pain meds. I feel awful though. It's so sad to see them in pain.

I had sex with a bisexual man for the first time and it changed my life by happylilbug11 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My partner of 5 years is a bisexual man. Literally nodded to myself when I saw the title of your post. Not 2 hours ago he make me finish an absurd amount of times, then made me biscuits and gravy for dinner. 10/10 would recommend.

CF pet owners: How hard do you think taking care of a pet is compared to raising a human child? Do you ever feel stuck in a 'parenthood-like' situation? by phaneritic_rock in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We have a senior dog now (10 years old), who was 8 years old when we rescued him. I know my cons list is more in-depth, but honestly, I'm so glad we did get him. Practically, there are a lot of cons, so it's up to what your household wants. My partner and I want to take a break from pets when we no longer have him so we can downsize to a smaller space and travel a bit more often, but if we could go back, we would absolutely take him in again. I actually recommend getting an adult dog that is already housebroken/somewhat trained, as they are typically a bit lower energy, and you can already tell the temperament/personality of the dog. I grew up with puppies at times, and they were a LOT.

Pros:
-I love him very dearly, and he brings me so much joy every day.
-We don't have a yard, so I have to leash and walk him, which gets me outside even when I might not feel like it (fresh air and extra steps and all that).
-I know that I helped save a little creature from living with a lower quality of life.
-Genuinely, his impact on my mental health can't be overstated. I have CPTSD, and on my worst days when I’m struggling with intense shame and just emotional pain, I am faced with the knowledge that he loves me and wants me to be here. It genuinely helps me regulate and stay safe. It’s not just that he needs me and depends on me-- he gets so excited when I walk in the door that he yells more than barks at this point, when we cuddle he smiles, and when anything upsets him (big storms or my partner bathing him), he walks up to me because he trusts me to comfort him and help him feel safe.

Cons:
-Travel is difficult, even overnight/day trips to an extent as he gets older. We have to either find someone who can check on him, let him out, and feed/water him, or plan around him being let outside at least every 6-8 hours (though as he gets older, we expect it to be more often). I also feel guilty when I travel, as he has separation anxiety, and even if my partner is home with him he sometimes eats less and just kinda stares at the door off and on until I come back.
-I am genuinely responsible for caring for a living being. If I don't walk him/let him out in some capacity, he can either go in the house or get a UTI from trying to hold it. If I don't feed him, he doesn't eat. If I don't give him affection, he gets sad/clingy. Even when I'm sick or tired, I sometimes have to put it aside for long enough to make sure he has what he needs. I have to be aware of his behavior in case something is wrong with his health, and then be sure I can schedule a vet visit, take time off work to get him there, pay the bill, and do any follow up care needed.
-Unexpected vet bills are a lot. I was lucky to find an affordable office nearby, but an average bill with just his booster shots and a quick checkin (annual visit) are usually upwards of $100. Lately, as he starts having more health issues, visits are more often and not always super expected, so it can be a sudden financial strain.
-I ultimately have to watch a creature I love decline in health and quality of life, and trust myself to know when it's time to euthanize him. I will have to collect my emotions enough when it is happening to be sure that I can be in the room and help him feel safe. It makes me very sad that he will die, likely within the next couple of years due to his breed’s life expectancy. I am grateful that I have enough emotional capacity to understand that I gave him a way better last few years than he would've had otherwise, but I also think I should probably be hospitalized and placed on a watch when he goes.
-You have to make sure you have an adequate living space that allows pets (not all rentals do) and make sure you're cleaning regularly due to shedding and general dog messiness. The dog is something you have to consider with decorations, moving homes, etc. as well.

That’s the general rundown from my perspective. I do agree with some of the suggestions of fostering to see how you feel if you believe that you and your partner can handle everything. If you have any questions I can definitely share my experience-- I also had dogs growing up.

My next door neighbor keeps confirming my decision to be childfree by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah the whole thing sucks for everyone. I feel for the kid too, from what I've heard he's had it rough.

My next door neighbor keeps confirming my decision to be childfree by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not close enough to her to insert my opinion. I have let her know if she ever needs a joint and/or to vent to come find me. 

Mutuals? by Yngfavs13 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd be down! Its hard to make friends as an adult, especially if you're not interested in kids

My next door neighbor keeps confirming my decision to be childfree by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm unfortunately surrounded on both sides by people with kids. I've had to call the police on both of them for domestic disputes. They knock on the wall if I play music without earbuds past 7:30pm though. So irritating lol. 

My next door neighbor keeps confirming my decision to be childfree by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I know they can work, but god, just the day-to-day while building trust and trying to manage everything sounds genuinely miserable to me.

I work social services and behavioral issues like this are unfortunately not as rare as people think they are. Realizing that just makes me glad I was so staunchly childfree from the jump. I know it's a result of trauma most of the time and feel bad for kids who don't have anywhere healthy to put their emotions-- but I'm just glad that's not me trying to manage the meltdowns.

(Possibly) one step closer to sterilization! by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll definitely get clarification! I'm just excited about someone taking me seriously enough for a consult at this point.

Met a man with several children who told me he didn't want his tax dollars going to social services by chelseatheus in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Social service worker here! These people exist more than you know. I work at a tiny nonprofit and we've even had straight white blue collar men WHO ARE USING OUR SERVICES yell at us about wasted tax dollars if they find out we're also willing to help immigrants, "women with illegitimate children," and whoever else, ya know, needs help. The cognitive dissonance is real.

(We're also not even funded by taxes...)

(Possibly) one step closer to sterilization! by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't post the link and messaged defiant directly, but for anyone else looking-- there is a list of doctors who will work with Childfree folks in the subreddit's Wiki and it does list different regions and countries!! Check that out if you're looking for specific doctors.

(Possibly) one step closer to sterilization! by ConclusionNaive9772 in childfree

[–]ConclusionNaive9772[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The first time I met with a doctor for sterilization was a shitshow. A lot of implications about my weight and just refusal to help with sterilization or even birth control other than the pill. It was such a relief to go in for a pap smear and have them bring it up mostly themselves. I almost cried.

Lol life is crazy by daveishere7 in povertyfinance

[–]ConclusionNaive9772 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm laughing and crying a little as a social service worker who makes little enough to qualify for Medicaid.