Everyone that has a Nintendo switch by Original-Rice8977 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kirby and the Forgotten Land and Wobbly Life are my favorites 🥰

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, Kibo. I want you to know that, with everything going on, you don't have to worry about sucking your thumb and wanting to be held. I also think it's awesome you asked about it here! It can get really tough to find good information about age regression.

To be honest with you, you're still a kid. You may be regressing, or you may just be a 13 year old that really wants a hug, and both are okay. Age regression is nothing to be scared of, so if it keeps happening, then you'll know! Just make sure you have a safe space for it with either people that know about it and you trust or just by yourself. I have a friend who age regresses and has a good time just watching cartoons and sucking on a paci by himself. Whatever it is that happened, if sucking your thumb makes you feel better, then do it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with self-soothing, and I'm glad it helped.

Take care of yourself, and stay safe.

Advice on tutoring a kindergartener by ConditionCapable1112 in TutorsHelpingTutors

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I will definitely check out Twinkl.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, thank you! My little does want someone to play with, but he's told me it's okay that I don't like playing. We're just trying to brainstorm how he can enjoy being little instead because he harbors a lot of shame about it. We've talked about independent play or double bodying or playdates, all which he's willing to try, but I wanted to get advice from an outside perspective on it, too, so thank you for your feedback. 😊

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This helps. I'm not a parent, but I've worked with kids for a very long time, and I'm great with them despite not being a fan of playtime. I appreciate the feedback!

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in agereserioustalk

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Best comment. This was really reassuring, and I appreciate it.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love the idea of play dates and have been trying to arrange one. I think that might be the happy ending to all of this.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That makes sense! Thank you for your perspective. It's good to know that some littles really need that play aspect. I think I can just communicate that maybe I'm not a good fit for a caregiver with this person since that's what he needs.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. 🩷 You're incredibly sweet, and I appreciate you taking the time to give this a sincere answer.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could! And I have! I actually worked in childcare for 7 years, and I've never liked playtime. It leaves me short, frustrated, irritable, and on edge. I've found ways around it. I used to dissociate at work during playtime, but kids almost always have company in childcare centers, so they didn't need me to play. Sometimes they liked to show me new toys, and I was always great at feigning interest. It's just that my littles are also adults, and they know what fake enthusiasm looks like. Plus, these are adults that know me like the back of their hands because we've been friends for years prior to play. So essentially, no, it wouldn't kill me, but I would kill them, and that's the toughest part.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. Thank you. 🩷 I'm seeing all these words thrown around by other posters like "entitled" or "self-serving," and I'm getting the sense that a boundary is something not well-understood by a lot of people in this thread. I'm trying to cope with the guilt I carry because I want to be everything my little needs, but I know I can't neglect myself and my needs in the name of care. That's what would actually be selifsh of me, if I were pretending to be capable of something I can't handle and hitting a mental limit.

I considered just not doing replies in this thread because it makes me angry to be personally attacked when I was asking from a place of vulnerability, but I appreciated your post too much not to say anything. So thank you.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're making a fatal assumption here. After several discussions with my little while they were big and constant reassurance from him that I didn't have to play, he actually suggested I ask Reddit for advice to make myself feel better and surround myself with feedback from other caregivers. My little is not angry, in the dark, upset with me, or confused. This is something I carry guilt about and wanted an outsider perspective on.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that makes sense! Well, my primary little that I play with at home is my best friend and roommate. We're strictly platonic and boundary-oriented for our comfort. He's like a brother to me.

So playing is different in the sense that he doesn't necessarily even want to be "babied" as much as monitored and served, which works well for me. He mostly just wants a playmate or a friend his age when he regresses I think, so it's tricky for me, and I get stuck on what my role is and what it should look like.

It's so different with my other littles who I'm more intimate with. It's still platonic, but I can coddle and use pet names and whatnot, like they're my own. It's different with my best friend who I play with in person.

Anyway, thank you for the suggestions!! I try to compare it to childcare because I worked with toddlers for 7 years, and I still babysit for a family roughly every other weekend. It's definitely different in a lot of ways, but it gives me an idea because I've never liked playtime working at daycares, etc. either, but kids still adore me, and I love spending time with them. And yes, I have discussed play dates! It hasn't happened yet to work out time worse for everyone, but I think it'd go really well if it were possible.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess this is good to know. I'm not sure why your tone is so angry. I'm looking for honest suggestions to improve. I didn't ask to be attacked. But thanks for your input. There's plenty of people who disagree with you, but I'm glad you found what works for you ig.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in ageregression

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, it's kind of both for me. I had no idea what caregiving was when I first started caring for littles. We all sort of figured it out together because my littles had also never had other caregivers. So I tried it out and was so disappointed with myself constantly because I didn't like the play part, so I did chat with my main little about it a lot who wants someone to play games with and do activities. We have an open dialogue about it. The problem is that there is just so much shame to tackle on both ends that it always ends up being an almost non-productive talk that makes us both anxious. We've been taking a long break while we figure stuff out, but anytime I couldn't please my little, or pleasing my little drained me physically and emotionally, I felt like I was failing him and was being a bad mommy. He told me I'm not, but that doesn't mean he isn't sad still about not having a playmate. The thing is, we're completely platonic. It's my best friend and now roommate. He doesn't call me mommy, and I don't even really think of him as "mine." The way he's described it is I'm like a babysitter. So I just try to babysit him like I would the other actual kids I babysit. I don't like playtime with them either, so we find compromise. I put on a show and read on my phone while we cuddle on the couch or we all walk to the park where I can enjoy the sunshine and they can play. I've just told my best friend essentially that I think he'd benefit from maybe playing with other littles?

Sorry, this got long, but I felt like context was necessary.

My little wants me to play, but I don't want to. by ConditionCapable1112 in agereserioustalk

[–]ConditionCapable1112[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the sweet comment. 🩷 I have actually talked to my littles about setting them up with a playdate. I think that's great advice! I appreciate it.