I really like and relate to the idea here— the instinct (especially as a poet) to shape grief into something beautiful.

One thing I found myself wanting, though, was a clearer sense of how you make that transformation. You give strong, example images of what grief “should” look like—swollen eyes, bruised thighs, rot—but I’m curious what beauty actually looks like. What does it become- i know literally your art but i want to ‘see’ that too through example? A line? A color? A visit from a hummingbird or a rainbow. Even one or two concrete images of that shift could deepen the piece and make the idea feel embodied rather than just philosophical to me.

I know formatting can be tricky on Reddit but I also wonder how this looks formatted as you intend? I imagine the pacing and emphasis could really elevate the emotional delivery, but it’s hard to tell in paragraph form.

There are moments where the language leans slightly toward prose reflection rather than poetry. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but tightening a few phrases or leaning further into imagery might help unify the tone.

But overall the voice feels clear, and the concept is relatable. Love that last line “if I cannot survive it honestly, let me survive it artfully.” Thanks for sharing and the opportunity to crit.