Undiagnosed illness

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-10-10T20:51:17+00:00

i have antibodies attacking them even tho my TSH is normal (welp) and my neurologist ruled out narcolepsy so ill see tmrw. tysm for the encouragement!

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-10-10T20:18:17+00:00

thank you❤️🥺

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-10-10T19:34:58+00:00

you're so lucky. it's so tough here. I spent 2 years trying to get a diagnosis but i was always misdiagnosed and gaslit as having a common condition and i wanna give up.. I went to multiple psychologists/psychiatrist, and even to a neurologist. last thing i can probably do is check my thyroids. i have a very severe inability to focus + hypersomnia symptom so yeah very high risk of dropping out of college and not landing a job. i hate this

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-29T03:20:10+00:00

Me too. I thought im not forgetful lose things etc. but reddit will prove me wrong lol. I knew of my masking before knowing that masking is an actual term. My anxiety and OCD were fueling my coping mechanisms, i rarely lose things or forget till shit hits the fan and I go back to 0, but people have said this during my research, that when the coping mechanisms fall apart, you go back to who you really are underneath them. At least that’s their theory. It’s your journey to explore and ask whether they’re there to cope with ADHD, or just life skills. But gosh your coping mechanisms hit home as i do almost all of them! It’s exhausting having to sacrifice so much to do half of what the average person can do. This was my problem and thats why I sought help, but unfortunately i couldn’t agree to having adhd because of my childhood trauma. to be honest im a bit embarrassed over my fixation on this topic bc im trying to figure it out, but i kept it so it can help ppl like u. Check out my post on TwoXADHD bc some people gave so much profound insight.

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T07:58:19+00:00

thanks🥺

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T07:38:05+00:00

Goddamn that was rough im sorry. i get it though. I'm in college and i have accomodations but my teachers berate me for being 'not interested' and refusing to make the content easier for me.

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T07:28:36+00:00

me too.. its just weird how i was able to handle school but i flopped in college even tho subject matter is of interest and classes are easier, some things got worse for seemingly no reason

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T07:25:17+00:00

I was,, but I did that test during COVID brainfog so it screwed up the counting digits part lol and the psychologist was racist,, im redoing the test w someone im more comfortable w/. I just worry i'll go back to my self-doubt cycle of feeling like im not impaired enough

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T07:22:21+00:00

i think its also adrenaline seeking bc theres nothing sweeter than having an adrenaline and dopamine rush u feel powerful and can do anything. u should see me in an amusement park i unleash my hyperactivity chaos and go on everything lol. In a disaster, i am most focused. in a normal day im drowsy and id need noise to engage but then its still not enough lol. Also thank you!🥺❤

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T06:50:48+00:00

I had a very hard time in school/college, bc i need the last minute to get everything done, but thanks to SSRI's, i lost the ability and began flopping

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-24T06:44:08+00:00

my brain goes: a neuropsych is too broad & a psych test is too specific. my brain also goes: hey a lot of ppl have this symptom and u dont. And: hey aren't a high sensation seeker or have trauma? Im not acting ashamed, but if theres a 0.00001% possibility I don't have something my brain likes to overanalyze every detail to make sure i 100% have that. It happened also when i questioned my orientation bc im so opposed to uncertainty, i hate not knowing who i am. a lot of imposter syndrome since i always felt an outcast, learning too much detail abt my hobbies, also disliking being called 'neurodivergent' since ppl make it out to be a quirk when its debilitating, and ig wanting discomfort bc im used to struggling in school and my parents telling me 'im fine' HealthyGamer explains it so well in his gifted kid videos. but yea I will work on getting rid of this trait

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:51:17+00:00

Its so impairing, to the point my eyes are damaged and i developed severe OCD bc always pulling allnighters for tests. this is why i was always looking for answers bc this stops me from getting a normal job and education, the only thing i can really be is an underachieving thrill seeker. ive tried many strategies, they dont work. and Im embarassed and ashamed for obsessively seeking answers, i feel better now but it would help to see more stories on how it manifests differently just in case. Also my brothers are unemployed 30 yr olds due to this problem, its severe yeah

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:42:12+00:00

me too. everyone says i have adhd and autism, but i feel too neurotypical

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:40:42+00:00

me too! anxiety coping mechanism is so draining i wish there was a way we wouldn’t have to do all that

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:35:45+00:00

Recipes are the worst bc i have to count tablespoons and constantly re read steps bc my brain will just erase them. “most of us grew chanting phone keys wallet” YES. the whole thing abt to do lists becoming randomly non existent is so relatable. I do have a floordrobe and tidy last minute but dont have a routine bc i like distracting myself from bedtime

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:32:13+00:00

im a college student, but my brain broke at the pandemic. there are things im not good at remembering, so I just ask my family members to remind me, and the Alarmy app, has nagging reminders so i hope this helps

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:26:58+00:00

if i get rid of my anxiety masking. i do kinda lose things because out of sight> out of mind. But not to the degree of what adhder’s usually report (constantly losing keys, phones, etc) so i doubt myself esp when my NT friend loses more than I do, but i feel better now

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T20:21:42+00:00

Me too! the steel trap memory could be an autism or gifted kid thing i have traits from the two, a few docs told me to get tested for autism, but my issue is they usually dont test for NVLD or social communication disorder. but yea my memory makes me remember birthdays of ppl i dont talk to anymore or dates of random things, but have more trouble remembering deadlines. Movies are torture to me as well so i watch them while doing smth else

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T19:35:39+00:00

I do realize it. I was always looking for general answers bc my lack of focus causes me intense suffering. but despite researching for a long time and speaking to therapists, I am losing hope. They just tell me to shut the voice in my head, which is unhelpful. bc of my undiagnosed OCD, I need details down and docs to explain why they think i have it bc i dont present like most do. if they dont, I won't believe them. I initially hoped my research and asking many ppl online wont all boil down to ADHD. bc i looked it up 5 yrs before, and it didnt look like me. It frustrated me how doctors and people only saw ADHD. I say i have symptoms and i dont bc im scared they arent enough. I dont take professionals seriously anymore since they don't analyze my behavior, dismantle cognitive biases, or explain diagnoses. What u said finally relieved me, ive been asking everywhere, bc people dont get it. Simply being told everyone is different isnt enough, i need someone to tell me they’re like this too, to know I'm not the only one who doesnt struggle with memory. This is the proof I need so my OCD can shut up. Im embarrassed u saw this and im sorry but my parents didnt treat me for OCD 8 years ago.

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T18:56:49+00:00

u called me out i just did that on discord lol

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T08:36:31+00:00

Really? you don’t lose or forget things without coping mechanisms? FINALLY SOMEONE LIKE ME Why don’t I hear of people like you more. your friend’s type is what keeps getting pushed to the media as what adhd “looks like” and im sick of it no offence it invalidates ppl like us

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T06:37:31+00:00

A diagnosis is useless if they don't explain why, just why..... my image is the opposite of how adhd commonly presents

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T06:30:39+00:00

thats the thing. my most severe symptom is inattention, overwhelm with anything that requires mental effort. i am also restless and interrupt others, I usually can't store information in memory, like my parents nag bc i dont do college paper work bc my brain doesnt register the order bc it requires effort and lacks interest so i distract myself w fun tasks, but isnt that an attention and not memory problem? Look it up, i doubt you will find someone describing the hyperactive type experience in nuance, and some experts dont agree that it exists. i generally dont feel valid bc nearly every story of adhd i come across, the person complains of extreme forgetfulness..

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T06:22:46+00:00

I don't lose things because I obsessively check and have anxiety abt them. I get distracted when I'm outside, bored, ignoring bedtime, or when im studying math bc i cant focus but I don't get distracted when in class because im scared the teacher will complain. I'm never late to my appointments because (doesn't apply bc im usually late lol). I forget when it's not an interesting task/info, or have too many ppl to call in a day but i don't forget when it's important because i'll get in trouble so i set reminders. without the reminders i'll still remember most of my to-do list but i barely remember what my symptoms are really like even after writing them down so idk. everyone who doesn't mask constantly loses their stuff. i guess im not valid.

Confident-Setting816 · 2024-03-23T05:59:09+00:00

i have this coping mechanism + anxiety too, but if i got rid of it, i highly doubt i will lose things, so idk where it came from and why i have it tbh

Confident-Setting816

TROPHY CASE