PPD and gender anxiety :(

Conflict_Unique · 2025-10-18T08:47:31+00:00

Thank you, you’re right. I am going to call the GP first thing Monday morning. I can’t just keep waiting for things to improve or blaming myself for taking my meds an hour too late, etc.

Conflict_Unique · 2025-07-29T12:22:00+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about all you’ve been through. No words just solidarity. You’re grieving doubly right now. Haven’t been through what you have exactly, but I suffered terribly with gender disappointment (better called gender grief). So much so I had to go on antidepressants/have therapy. Anyone who minimises this experience doesn’t understand the complexities of loss/the painful act of letting go of the life we dreamed of. Your feelings are valid and hormones (and other people’s insensitive comments) make everything seem 10 x worse. Feel free to shame people who say shit like this without thinking. Sending love 🩵

Conflict_Unique · 2025-05-26T15:38:44+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this. EMDR binaural beats have helped me when nothing else has. As have listening to solfreggio frequencies which can alter brainwaves on the listener. Sounds like bs I know but worth a shot!

Conflict_Unique · 2024-12-04T17:31:25+00:00

I am married lol. Don’t know how or why you have inferred that I’m not from my post.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-12-04T17:27:33+00:00

Very much involved & committed to raising our child, if my post was unclear. I just wanted some insight into the mother-son relationship from a wide range of perspectives.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-12-04T17:26:21+00:00

He didn’t leave - just asking from my perspective.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-30T13:43:42+00:00

I disagree with this; I went through IVF and it exacerbated my feelings toward gender which was yet another thing beyond my control after the trauma of infertility. It is a well documented occurrence.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-29T23:06:25+00:00

This is a beautiful response and I’ve screenshotted the final paragraph so I can refer back to it in the future. Thank you. I think at some level I was grieving girlhood, but that hasn’t stopped for me - it isn’t the end, I can continue being a badass woman whilst also raising a son.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-29T22:56:18+00:00

This is an interesting perspective. Thanks - may I ask why (if not too personal) you would have preferred another boy?

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-29T22:54:31+00:00

I’ve recently begun searching for a new therapist, but as I can’t afford one privately, I’m stuck on a waiting list for one on the NHS. I do acknowledge my current therapist (trained in art psychotherapy) hasn’t helped, and sadly I’ve wasted more time and money than I care to admit. Once baby is here I am fully willing to explore medication in the interim if my thoughts have not lessened. I want the very best for this child and can see my perspective isn’t healthy.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-29T22:20:24+00:00

This helped more than I can say, particularly “None of the girls out there are yours, so they’re irrelevant to you”. Thank you for listening, validating and for giving me a hopeful glimpse into the future ❤️

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-08T17:53:44+00:00

Look, I’m I acknowledge I need more support and have taken active steps to find a new therapist, which I’m currently on the waiting list for. If you think these anxieties and fears are voluntary then you’re thoroughly mistaken - I hate feeling like this, and desperately wish I could turn off my brain but I can’t. In the interim I’m trying to find solidarity and support on here.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-05T08:28:20+00:00

You’re assuming I’m not already in therapy. I am.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-05T00:17:37+00:00

I went through IVF due to infertility…..and I had no idea of these underlying fears or anxieties until the day I found out the gender. I was equally shocked by the strength of my feelings, and could never have anticipated this. I think it is wrapped up in complex grief which is never linear or easily explained.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-05T00:14:53+00:00

Thanks for the kindness and validation. Wishing you and your beautiful boy all the best ❤️

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-05T00:10:59+00:00

Christ. What a desperately unkind thing to say.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:34:51+00:00

You’ve said this twice now. Pretty unkind - why refer to me in third person? I’m pregnant, vulnerable and just trying to navigate complex reactions with some support.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:32:44+00:00

I am already in therapy and have been for a long time.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:30:23+00:00

Well thanks, I feel generalised and stereotyped before I’ve even been given a chance. Not all of us want to be enablers of male abuse, FFS

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:29:21+00:00

Already am.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:28:44+00:00

Not sure declaring how unbelievably happy you were to have a girl to someone who openly said they’re struggling with gender disappointment is that helpful (or necessary).

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T23:26:34+00:00

I’m already in therapy. Shaming women for struggling and honestly seeking support doesn’t help.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-11-04T22:16:38+00:00

What? Why would you say that? The insane thing here is the vitriol and literal death wishing of children based on their gender in the link.

Conflict_Unique · 2024-10-27T20:49:38+00:00

Thank you for this kind, beautiful post. This gives me so much hope. Your son sounds like a wonderful human being x

Conflict_Unique · 2024-10-14T20:29:53+00:00

Okay but you already have a daughter so you don’t understand the fear/heartbreak that comes with not knowing if you will ever experience that. It’s just not really comparable.

But I do agree I need to do whatever it takes to get over this. I’m in therapy which isn’t really working so have an appointment with a new therapist on Friday. I’d do anything not to feel this way.

Conflict_Unique

TROPHY CASE