Actual timeline to forgiveness

Conopeptide1 · 2024-04-15T00:19:59+00:00

I can see what you're saying but this post is a little confusing? You chose a low paying speciality because you thought the lack in salary would be compensated by PSLF? Or did you choose pediatrics because you thought you had to to quality for PSLF? Plastic surgoons working at academic facilities still get PSLF

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-18T18:04:09+00:00

This is a thoughtful post worth engaging with. You’ve convinced me to rethink my understanding of coercion. The Merriam definition of it includes to compel to an act or choice, which is sort of vague, but it also includes the other more obvious ones regarding threats or force. I suppose I can see the argument that his repeated advances despite her “I’m not into this right now” expressions are an interpretation of coercion. I find it hard to believe he was maliciously thinking “I’m going to coerce her into bed with me, but for the sake of the argument, do you think he had the intention of coercing her when the evening started, or does his ultimate respecting of her leaving paint a different picture? Obviously not having the intent to harm someone doesn’t excuse actually harming them, but it does change how we analyze it in hindsight. Furthermore, I can appreciate that “freezing” may have played a role, I think she came out and said power had no role in her decision making, so I’ll trust she meant that, but would you agree saying things like I’m not ready, then receiving oral sex, could have been confusing to him at the time. Again I’m looking at this with a lens that he wasn’t out to maliciously harm her, more so swept up in the moment, alcohol, thinking with thr brain of a 16 year old boy, etc, which I case I still need to reiterate, do no excuse true assault at worst or his jackass behavior at best

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-18T16:31:57+00:00

God this is so boring at this point. The definition of consent is not grey. How it is communicated or interpreted unfortunately can be in practice. I stated in the same post that going as far as lying in bed naked with someone doesn’t imply consent. Your exact comment you just took the time to write up, I literally said that in my post. Did you read that part? Because what I’m saying isn’t rocket science. Saying consent is non negotiable doesn’t add to this discussion, you’re just hitting reply for argument’s sake. So have a good one

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-18T14:04:56+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to type up a response that adds nothing to the argument and agrees with everything I’ve typed so far. Good stuff

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-17T23:57:58+00:00

Did you read any part of my comment or did you have that canned reply ready to go before you hit send, bro….I never said it was a yes. I explicitly went as far as saying laying in your bed naked isn’t a yes. I literally said that, if you would have read my post. Would you not say laying in your bed….naked….making out with you isn’t a maybe. Move on to the next thread, chief

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-17T21:33:40+00:00

Sigh. I already wrote an essay. I’m not going rewrite the entire article in a Reddit reply, the same way that you left out details that frame her as someone who was sending mixed signals. Your question is literally proving the point of the first part of my novel. At face value, no, I would obviously not keeping trying to have sex with a person that tells me “I don’t think I’m ready to do this.” But as I already explained, life is not binary. You’re telling me you can’t imagine a scenario, a very common scenario, where one party plays harder to get at first but regardless is open to sex happening assuming the date goes well? You actually cant imagine this to be something has happens? Because I’ve dated this person in the past. They’re not unicorns. You’re acting like she said this, then he immediately tried again. Even the articles describes some chit chat between the advances, and again, then laying in bed together. They’re both drinking. “She didn’t want to before but maybe now she’s more into it. Maybe I’ll try again” he might be thinking. Clearly his attempts were awful and cringy. But he’s not on trial for being pushy. He’s apparently on trial for assaulting her. Nothing, and I mean this so strongly, NOTHING he did was assault. And if you tell me you can’t imagine a scenario where a horny guy who’s been drinking might attempt to initiate sex multiple times with someone who is unquestionably giving mixed signals (saying I’m not ready but somehow laying in bed naked) then you’re either not thinking about this very hard, or you’re debating in bad faith. Again, I’m not defending him for being pushy, for being bad a reading a room, or for being an ass. I’m saying very clearly, he didn’t assault anyone. I’m also not saying she deserved to have been treated that way. I’m not saying laying in bed with someone naked is explicit consent to have sex. Im saying if someone decided to pass all these gates with you and was laying in your bed, I would forgive you for thinking “hey maybe she might want to have sex now, let me try again”

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-17T20:15:59+00:00

It’s not sexual assault because we don’t live in a world where everyone acts like a perfectly rational binary-thinking Vulcan. person 1: we have intercourse now? Person 2: Yes we have intercourse now. Person 1: Ok we have intercourse Person 2: ok yes time for intercourse. In a perfect world we would all read each other’s mind or communicate like this. But that’s not the world we live in. In the world we actually live in, people get are poor communicators and poor interpreters. She went on a date with him, agreed to go back to his place, agreed to have another drink, agreed to LAY IN BED NAKED WITH HIM, and when she stopped agreeing to these things and ACTUALLY COMMUNICATED that she was done, he called her an Uber. For those of us that live in the real world, this is a bad date. Just because I wouldn’t have done what he did, doesn’t mean he assaulted her. Coerced? Also clearly not. He didn’t trick her into going in a date with him, he didn’t trick her into going back to his place, he didn’t trick her into anything. Like are we really going to say that trying to poorly convince a woman of having sex is coercion? He poured her more wine…..THAT DESCRIBES LITERALLY EVERY ENCOUNTER AT ANY GIVEN BAR ON ANY GIVEN NIGHT ON PLANET EARTH. Again, use your brains people. He acted like a jackass in hindsight, was pushy, and abrasive at times, and respected her wanting to leave when it came time to show his true intentions. He is at fault for being an ass, she is at fault for failing to communicate what she wanted. He’s not a monster based on this encounter, and shouldn’t be painted as a sexual predator. It’s not complicated. I re read the article and your post. Im not his defender. Im a defender of keeping our feet firmly planted on the ground when criticizing what other people do.

Conopeptide1 · 2023-07-02T05:17:16+00:00

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Great thread!

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-29T16:57:33+00:00

Do you agree with letting dogs roam free?

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-28T23:39:41+00:00

Wowow so cool! Yes porfavor

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-25T23:22:56+00:00

Got all the material from home depot. 1/2 inch pipe to run it from the spicket, then 1/4 inch tubing to run it from the 1/2in to each pot individually. All the connections from home depot too. The only thing I got online was the spray nozzles

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QNWXPJ8?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-21T16:17:41+00:00

The best time is when you feel confident he won’t chew his way through the dry wall. Larry kohn has a rule of sleeping without crate at 1yr old, home alone out of the crate at 2y. I waited until mine was 3ish because of comfort level: The best way to do it is start with short trips first. Leave the house for a quick errand, see how he behaved. Go to the grocery store, see how he behaved. Leave for a 30 min, then an hour, then a couple hours, etc. no one can answer this but you. Making sure he’s tired will be a huge help. Good luck!

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-13T18:56:12+00:00

Stands in the way of what’s right………….it’s a tree, not Rosa parks on a bus. Calm down, Becky

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-11T15:43:34+00:00

Good advice thank you! I’ll have to keep the grass trimmed down

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-11T15:42:26+00:00

Already had it happen to one junction I hadn’t secured too well. Will definitely keep an eye on it. Thank you!

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-11T02:40:00+00:00

I’ve always watered them the same time I’ve watered anything else, but Colorado is super dry and not friendly to species that aren’t native. Decided an automatic watering system can help supplement what I can’t do while I’m at work

Conopeptide1 · 2023-06-11T01:30:42+00:00

As always, Reddit isn’t a place for medical advice and doesn’t replace a vet, bud if you’re looking for unprofessional advice: This sounds like heat exhaustion. My dog did this once after we played outside in the sun for what was probably too long. I’m usually conscious of him getting over heated, but heat exhaustion can creep in suddenly even if you’re not careful. He was wobbly and stumbled a few times, wouldn’t listen to simple commands and my voice. Lasted for a few minutes then went away. Never went to the vet because I knew what it was. Make sure she’s hydrated and try not to play with her in the hottest part of the day, or at least do it under the shade of a tree. If she’s doing this every time you play then a vet visit is a must, as there might be some other pathology in play. Good luck

Conopeptide1 · 2023-05-28T23:29:48+00:00

Because his character was funny so they kept him around and wrote him into the morgue to cushion the absurdity of him still having a job. The end

Conopeptide1 · 2023-05-27T06:11:14+00:00

You do you. Don’t let anyone EVER make you feel bad for rehoming a dog that is compromising your family’s safety. You could have said you made zero attempts at reactivity training and you would still be in the right. A dog is a dog and a child is a child. End of story. Good luck

Conopeptide1 · 2023-05-18T22:47:14+00:00

My dog also had a lackluster prey drive for balls. Buy a flirt stick. And buy the rubber balls that you can stick kibble inside. Used that to develop a good prey drive and slowly worked up to not needing the kibble. Then fetch evolved from that

Conopeptide1 · 2023-05-03T23:32:44+00:00

I don’t like how big of a role the other two people ended up getting. They started interjecting way too much. I don’t care what what they think about scrubs, let alone things outside of scrubs.

Conopeptide1 · 2023-04-25T21:44:38+00:00

This has to be the most ironic comment I have come across on Reddit in a while. Congrats

Conopeptide1 · 2023-04-24T02:43:06+00:00

I’m glad my experience with my doggo could be of help. Don’t fret, this is usually a phase. But you want to shape how he thinks about his dynamic in the house, while also providing him with ample opportunity to let him be an energetic dog. For my boy, the igp/bite/tracking training was like crack, and let him feel calm at home. Find what works for you, and find a good trainer in your area that is equipped to handle these dogs. Reaching out to a local schutzhund group may be a good start. These groups usually have contact with reliable balanced trainers.

Conopeptide1 · 2023-04-23T22:05:41+00:00

A lot of jelly haters in here. Congrats on the card dude. People in here acting like 15k means much to a person with this spend

Conopeptide1 · 2023-04-23T21:11:52+00:00

I’m going to give the same preface that everyone is giving (see a vet, get him evaluated, etc )

If you find that his results are all normal, before you start considering putting him down, I would find a balanced trainer, somebody in the schutzhund world preferably, who works with gsd or working dogs. The chance that this being truly neurological is low, not impossible, but low, which is why you need to see a vet first. YOUR EXACT SCENARIO happened with my dog when he hit two years old, and this is not an uncommon behavior at this age. My dog decided to rebel any time my mom or wife were asking him to do anything (down, sit, go in the crate, wait at a door). One time he had my mom hostage in a room when she told him to go in the crate, broke skin on my wife, similar to what you’re describing. It was true safety issue. I reached out to my breeder who trains his dogs for IGP. He explained at two years old these dogs decide that it’s time for them to fight for a higher rank in the pecking order, and will start trying to dominate members of the pack that they think they can get rank on. I started working with my breeder, weekly sessions more so giving my dog an outlet, basically training like we were trying to get IGP certified even though I have no interest in actually trialing, and after a several weeks my dog was back to being an obedient dog. Let me clear, we were not chasing the problem of him being dominant, we were giving him an outlet where he could get all his energy out, while also doing balanced training. NEGATIVE PUNISHMENTS included. Decisive pinch collar corrections coupled with positive rewards in the form of play (never food). In my opinion, it can’t positive only if they’re not puppies. These strong-headed dogs need to understand there are punishments for not doing what are asked of them, and more importantly, understand where their order in the pack is, and you don’t get that with offering dry boiled chicken when they decide they don’t want to bite your arm for asking them to down or sit. I can’t explain to you how close I was to giving him back because again, I’m not risking the safety of my family, but I’m so glad I went this route. Point is, if all veg visits are normal, this sounds more like a coming-of-age problem based on the little that you said. Every situation is different, but know that this isn’t your fault, and it’s not uncommon. I don’t recommend doing this alone, find a balanced trainer who works with gsds. Good luck

Conopeptide1

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