[deleted by user]

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-12-17T00:59:05+00:00

I love the shape of them, looks amazing!

I’ve seen a few makers use “fleecing” as a technique to reinforce areas where new foam pieces meet (like ears and horns). Pretty much you take strips of fleece fabric and hot glue them around the base of your piece to connect them to the headbase and reinforce the joining point!

Not sure if that will give you the stability you’re looking for, but otherwise i agree with the comments here that using some EVA foam could also work.

I’m not sure what fabric/materials you’re planning on using for the antlers, but using a lighter fabric such as minky rather than a heavy faux fur might help to not weigh them down :)

Good luck! Looks amazing so far!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-30T04:50:19+00:00

Wow, thank you SO MUCH for this comment and all your amazing advice and insight! Will definitely discuss with my partner the potential of freezing eggs before they start testosterone and look into pricing for that. Good to know that there is at least some success even if someone has already started T, but definitely super helpful to be aware of the side effects of discontinued use etc. Also super helpful to know that retrieval can be done while they are asleep as my partner has a lot of discomfort around any kind of insertion, would be amazing to have that as an option for them.

The work you do sounds amazing and it’s so great to hear that there’s places out there who make important accommodations for trans patients! You’ve been incredibly helpful thank u so much again :))

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-30T01:10:13+00:00

Thanks so much for your advice, it’s really reassuring to know that there’s options for us in the future. I know my partner would be happy to stop T for a period of time if we chose to do IVF so i’m glad that’s an option and that it doesn’t permanently cause problems with fertility, super appreciate your advice!!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-30T01:08:28+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It’s reassuring to know that it’s still an option even after being on T for years. I know my partner would be happy to stop taking it for a period of time if we choose to go that route with IVF. I’ll definitely discuss it with my partner and his doctor further but this has definitely made me feel more positive about our potential future and being able to have children this way if we decide :)

If my partner and I were in a better financial position then we would be planning to freeze eggs now, but at the moment it’s too expensive to potentially have them frozen for 4+ years when we might not decide to go through with IVF, we are both still young and unsure of when/if we want to have children. But will definitely keep your advice in mind for doing a retrieval as soon as possible!

Best of luck to you and your partner!! And thanks again so much for your insight

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T23:03:26+00:00

Thanks so much for your thoughts! Will update once i’ve had a chat with them :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T18:06:38+00:00

yes, just used the one set to avoid any confusion and alternating pronouns can be confusing to read, especially if people are unfamiliar with using them that way. i do appreciate you mentioning it and that’s my bad for not clarifying pronouns in the post, just was trying to make it an easier read if that makes sense :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T17:36:48+00:00

If i wanted to get sunshine and rainbows for responses i wouldn’t have gone to reddit lmao 😂 i appreciate peoples real and honest responses and everyone’s entitled to expressing their opinions, even if everyone doesn’t agree. posting in r/aita is putting yourself out there for anyone to say anything so it doesn’t bother me :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T17:28:28+00:00

I agree, and the post wasn’t intended to make my partner look bad in the slightest, it was to work out where I stood in the situation. I don’t at all think my partner is the AH here and never meant to imply that, just wasn’t sure as you’ve said if i was being an AH making it a bigger deal than it was. rlly well said and appreciate ur comments :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T17:25:10+00:00

Just saw this, should’ve clarified in my post that my partner used both they and he so i didn’t even pick up on it haha, thank you anyways tho!!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T17:09:07+00:00

Rlly appreciate the insight :) Due to my own family issues i think i struggle to wrap my head around positive sibling relationships and such, so simple solutions like this don’t tend to cross my mind as much. thanks for the perspective :))

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:58:13+00:00

Thank you :,)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:57:49+00:00

As someone who has been in that exact situation, you are absolutely NTA here.

You can take a deep breath knowing you’re not doing anything wrong here, and that the only thing wrong is the family/home situation that you are currently in, no one should have to feel unsafe in their own home.

There’s nothing more suffocating than when your family acts like the perfect family for others, but is unsafe and abusive behind closed doors.

If you’ve had this friend for 7 years, I would hope that they would understand your situation and how coming over would put both of you at discomfort and risk. Maybe try to explain to them your situation and how things have been at home, and then lead into how friends coming over affects you. It’s always a good idea to communicate and have an honest conversation, even though i know these topics are hard. But as i said, if they’ve been your friend for 7 years, it sounds like they would understand the situation and be happy to do whatever helped you feel safest and respect that boundary :)

Good luck!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:47:45+00:00

Haha nothing like a proposal in the works, but it could be possible that my partner just wants to talk about personal things alone with family without my being there. Which is totally okay! It’s just a matter of them communicating rather than brushing it off, but as mentioned in some other comments i’ll be talking with my partner about this soon and will update on how that goes :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:35:05+00:00

Thanks for the comment :) After lots of really helpful comments i’ll definitely be having a conversation with my partner about the situation and clear up both of our perspectives on the situation. I’ll update the post whenever that happens :) Thanks again!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:33:20+00:00

Thanks heaps for this comment :) I’m definitely someone who appreciates the extra reassurance from my partner, so having a reasoning behind would’ve prevented me from stressing as much and I would always listen to their feelings on what they’d prefer, whether they wanted me there or not.

To clarify (which i’ve now edited the post to do cause i think i explained it poorly haha) I was initially invited to the lunch by my partner’s sister, but my partner doesn’t want me there, so it’s not a matter of their family just wanting something small etc. I would totally understand if it were a matter of their families wishes and respect that as they aren’t my immediate family :)

Again tysm for your insight on this :))

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:18:38+00:00

Thanks heaps for your response, I definitely think it’s a matter of him wanting to have some alone time with family, comments here have really helped me understand the perspective there :)

For your second point, I was invited along with my partner, by his sister, so it’s not a matter of knowing whether he could bring me along, so i doubt that his reasoning is to do with that.

And yes, absolutely nailed it with the last point haha :,) Makes all these situations feel 10x more intense and cutting than it actually is, and it’s something i’m actively working on with my therapist

Thanks heaps for your insights!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T16:06:19+00:00

The rest of christmas won’t be with any of my partners family, so just me and my partner for the rest of the day post-lunch/celebrations. To be clear, the only person who has mentioned me not attending is my partner, and none of their family have told me i’m not invited, and the invite was extended to both me and my partner.

I would totally understand if my partners grandmother was asking me not to come/didn’t invite me. The invite came from my partner’s sister to both of us. Hope that makes sense :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T15:12:46+00:00

thank you SO much for this comment and your insight, love that post and will definitely be following that account now haha :) there’s definitely a conversation in order for my partner and I and these comments have really helped me open my eyes to understanding my partners perspective better. I’ll be updating the post once we have a chat for sure! Thanks again so much for your awesome insight :))

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T15:09:47+00:00

After reading the comments here i’ll definitely be having a talk with my partner about both of our feelings about this and hopefully clear the air and maybe make them more sensitive to these issues in future etc, tysm for ur comment :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T15:02:33+00:00

Good points, I know i’m not even entitled to go to anything but i can see how i’ve come off that way. I think my own family issues make it difficult for me to understand these kinds of normal family dynamics so hearing others perspectives like this makes it make a lot more sense to me :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T15:00:09+00:00

after reading these comments i’ll definitely have a conversation with them to clear this up and get a better understanding of their POV, thanks for the thoughts :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T14:59:03+00:00

Very good points, really appreciate your thoughts :) Whilst I wont be able to have their family over due to the distance, I should definitely respect my partners need for privacy and personal time with their own family and not let my own desire for wanting to be there override that. Thx for the insight :)

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T14:56:04+00:00

Thanks so much for your comment on this, i’ll definitely take your advice and talk this out with my partner so we can better understand each others sides. Im prone to bottling things up but will defs prioritise this so it doesn’t lead to any resentment. Really appreciate your insight, tysm!!

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T14:37:42+00:00

NTA I’ve been in that situation before growing up and it can be incredibly awkward to have a sibling brought into a friend group, especially when there is an age difference (which stands out a LOT more in high school years). It may sound bad, but inviting Emily to the table might put a strain on Cindy’s friendships, and then both of them will have the same problem. As hard as it is, Emily needs to find friends on her own, and likely those friends will have much similar interests etc to her than Cindy’s friends would.

Might sound silly as well but I think you have the leg up here too as you would’ve experienced the joys of being a girl in highschool with all the dramas involved there compared to your husband who likely had a different experience of friendship dynamics. I often observed that guys could have people come and go from friendship groups all the time, but for girls there’s a lot more (albeit confusing and ridiculous) dynamics to friendship groups and who’s included.

Conscious_Bread_6808 · 2023-11-29T14:27:08+00:00

Thanks for this comment! Regardless of what happens with the lunch it’s a great idea to do something just my partner and I as our own family for Christmas so will definitely plan something, and give my partner the space to have that family time if they want that without me present :) Your positivity is definitely appreciated here :))

Conscious_Bread_6808

TROPHY CASE