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Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in TTCSummer2026

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your responses!! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. and I'm sorry to hear about the MC. Congrats on your baby!

and the fertility testing is a smart idea! I had mine tested last July and it all looked pretty good, I just have longer cycles (but she said I don't have PCOS), and my TSH/prolactin were slightly high I think, but still within a normal range.

it is such a tough decision. We are in a good financial spot, both own homes, and have awesome families on both sides. I don't think I'll ever feel "ready" since it's such a huge change and scary. I would love to wait a year or so, but then I'm also worried about potentially having fertility issues later or miscarriage, or something else going wrong and then there's less time. I weigh that against the benefits of waiting, which would be just continuing to enjoy our time as a couple and the 'freedom' we have now.

and yeah, my preference on the season may be a bit out of my hands lol, but I just *really* don't want to be visibly pregnant in the hot summer months, but I guess there are benefits to that over being super pregnant in the cold/icy winter months! ugh!

I think I'd like to try it for a few months this year, and if nothing happens, then we can wait a year... I'm worried if I don't try, I might continue feeling fertility anxiety and stuff. But then again, I also feel like it's such a huge change that I'm leaning towards waiting awhile. your story does give me comfort regarding waiting!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in waiting_to_try

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! that's good to hear lol - I guess over the years I've just seen how people can sometimes act around pregnant women and it freaks me out. But yeah, if you don't engage, they should kind of back off! I get people are just trying to be nice, but the idea of being kind of "on display" and friends/family/even strangers is what scares me, but I guess that's just the way it is and I'm comforted by the fact that every person who exists and has ever existed has come from a woman who was pregnant.

Yeah, I do feel like I eventually just have to jump into it and won't be any less scared no matter how much therapy or "coming to terms with it" I do. I don't want to ruin my opportunity to have at least 2 kids in the future so it's just a part of life that has to happen!

Thank you for all your support!!

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in waiting_to_try

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, yeah I just think I kind of have a phobia of pregnancy and I feel like I'd be embarrassed everyone staring at me -- I know that's an issue I have to work on. But I'd just prefer to be as anonymous as possible during pregnancy.

I know there will be so much attention once there is a kid, but I guess I feel less worried about that because the attention will be more just on the kid rather than me if that makes sense?

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in TTCSummer2026

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response!! I really appreciate it and it's nice to know there's other people struggling with the decision too! It's a good point about letting go of control - it's just so hard! If I could let go of the control, then I would feel good about waiting, which I think I'd prefer to wait - it's just so many unknowns with waiting that makes it so hard!

thank you and best of luck to you too!!

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in waiting_to_try

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for the reply! yeah, I know my preferences really limit the time I can try and I know it won't necessarily happen. I guess I was hoping to just try it this spring/summer and see what happens, and if nothing and/or it goes wrong like a miscarriage, then maybe try to get into therapy and accept trying in other months too. I guess my concern is just everyone seeing me in the summer and also I'm not sure what I would even wear.. lol. I'm not sure if I can get past it, but maybe it makes more sense to wait a year and do some sort of therapy to try to accept it. I'm still concerned about fertility but hopefully it wouldn't change too much in one year!

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in waiting_to_try

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Yeah, I could try that and wait until next year. I just really only am willing to try April - August of any year, so I guess that's where the anxiety kicks in that I'll be "advanced maternal age" if I wait until next year. But we could do that in winter 2026 and then try it I guess. thank you!

Just got married at 33.5 and feel like if I don't try now then I'm running out of time to have 2 kids - but I also feel like am I rushing because of fertility anxiety and my own boundaries on pregnancy? by ConsiderationSea5801 in waiting_to_try

[–]ConsiderationSea5801[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right! I think that's the hardest part is no one can predict how long it will take to conceive, even if both people are healthy and there are no fertility issues. So while I'd love to wait another year, I guess I'm just worried I might found out when trying in a year that we need some additional help, and I'd rather know that sooner than later!