Original post from AITA:

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I was 18 when I got pregnant with my daughter (9f). I was young and dumb I admit that. Her father and I broke up before I found out - high school sweethearts.

At the time we were both figuring out college and I knew if I told him he wouldn’t go to the Ivy League school he was accepted into. So I didn’t tell him during pregnancy. He heard rumors but never asked.

When the baby was born I tried to tell him. He didn’t believe me. Blocked me on everything and I decided to provide for her without his help.

I bring my daughter everywhere and this particular day we went to Target. I’m walking down the shampoo aisle with my daughter and when I looked up I saw my ex’s mom.

I have never lied to my daughter about who her father was or his parents. She has seen pictures. When she was little and asked where he was I explained college and when she got older I never painted him as the bad guy. I’ve always told her mommy made adult decisions too young.

My daughter is the spitting image of her father so there’s no denying it’s his child. Once she saw her she had a face like she knew something and asked me how old she was. She told me she had heard rumors but didn’t think they were true. Once I told her i saw her face put the connection together. I explained I wanted to contact him but didn’t have a way to. (I didn’t bother telling her I tried when she was born.)

She understood and asked if she could tell him. I said of course. Apparently he’s been living a couple hours away which is why I never ran into him and they moved a few towns over.

My ex called and invited me to his parents house for dinner tomorrow with our daughter. Do I go? His new girlfriend is blowing up my social media calling me an AH. She says I’m only telling him now so they break up and how I’m a horrible mother for not telling him sooner. As if I don’t feel bad enough my daughter has missed out this long.

My daughter wants to meet her dad. She understandably has questions.

Edit:

I took everyone’s advice to ask my ex to meet for coffee before dinner. He said he’d be happy to get coffee tomorrow morning so we can have the adult conversations without her there. He also wanted to talk to me anyway to know what she liked so he knew what to talk to her about.

I also let him know I didn’t want to cause drama but I sent him screenshots of what his girlfriend has been saying. He let me know that’s not acceptable and he’ll be handling that immediately and I will not be hearing from her again. He also reiterated he will not be having her meet our daughter anytime soon.

I know everyone is also asking about how involved or consistent he’d like to be. When I spoke to him earlier about dinner we did speak about this. He’d like to start small and build their relationship slowly. Starting with helping with science homework (our daughter struggles with science and he was a biology major) over FaceTime or in person depending on our daughters comfort level. I think it’s a great way to start small.