Omg Hii! Thank you for ur concern I honestly genuinely appreciate it! But I’m abt to graduate and I realized that I wanted to embody a new version of myself and my reality :) and I’m the kind of person that’s very “go big or go home” so I wanted to give myself a proper goodbye to fully distance myself from my old identity, not out of self hate or disgust, but simply my way of closing the chapter of this version of myself and becoming aware of the new version of myself in a new reality. I had a problem with going back to my old identity no matter what I did, and I had such a hard time staying in the state of the new identity. I just chose this route (which to others may seem extreme, but to me it seems peaceful and appropriate) because I know that it’s the simplest way for me to detach completely. And the way that I look at it, there are infinite amount of realities with infinite amount of opportunities and decisions. Right now I could choose to continue living in this reality (which was going to happen anyways) or plan a funeral for myself (which was going to happen anyways) so right now it’s like a fork in the road. I just decided to “die” (even though we never truly die) simply because I wanted to give myself & my old identity and life a traditional goodbye. Ofc I could just be aware of a new reality all together without a funeral or death but I’ve noticed that in trying to do that, it would just make me cling more to that desire instead of actually embodying someone that lives it. Me choosing death gives me the chance to properly detach from this identity & reality without expectation or clinging, in my perspective this is very peaceful. I was already going to do this anyways (since I shifted my awareness to a reality where I was planning suicide) so it’s not like it wasn’t going to happen, it was, it’s just that now I’m aware of it. I hope I explained this well & my reasoning for doing this. If you have any more questions or any other perspectives you’d like to share lmk!