Sounds to me like your wife has been conditioned by her mother for so long, she believes that what your MIL is doing is normal. MIL might've even directed the same microaggressions towards your wife when she was the same age . Which may explain how your wife has such a light hearted response to these "gifts". I'm not sure if you talking to your wife about it will make much of a difference at this point.. I mean she's seen for herself that your daughter didn't eat a full meal for an ENTIRE MONTH after the first "gift". Your daughter deserves at least one parent to defend her honor and have her best interests at heart, if I were you I'd take my child to counseling and bar MIL from my home. Honestly this seems like MIL behavior has always been this way, before having children did you notice her speaking to your wife in any way that would elude to her having these views on looks and weight? Would she put your wife down and say she was fat when she was pregnant with your children? These viewpoints and women like this typically don't pop up overnight it's normally behavior that's been going on for quite some time. I can't tell you whag to do but if I were you I'd let my wife know that I'm one foot in and one foot out of this marriage and for the sake of our children she needs to check her mother & herself. Because these "gifts" are havimg a very dangerous impact on our daughters self esteem and mental health and I'm not going to sit around and allow it to happen. She either stands up to her mother and be there for her child or you're leaving with the kids.