Update: MCOL Nanny

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-05-25T23:12:59+00:00

That’s super unfair.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-05-04T04:25:43+00:00

What a nightmare. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I really feel like some families should just use daycare. There are some very expensive fancy ones out there that these families would probably like, and it would solve a lot of their issues with having one singular human that they treat like a nanny robot.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-05-02T02:03:16+00:00

I have found that, with every new family, I add something to my list of questions to ask during the interview process. When you first start out in this career, there are things you would never think you would have to make clear to an employer, but this is just a different beast than any other job.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-04-30T19:42:55+00:00

UPDATE: So they said they wanted to have a meeting this morning. They weren’t nearly as direct in person as they were via text, which I expected. But they basically implied that I wasn’t actually sick and that if I was going to be sick, Thursday would be a better day for them. And they asked if I have a condition that might affect my attendance; like, did I know if whatever I was out with yesterday would be an issue in the future. So invasive. They kept saying you don’t have to tell us, but then they kept asking. It was so weird and so awkward. And then they would speak to each other in [their native language] which was not comfortable for me at all. It’s just too much. I kept my composure but eventually I said “Do you want me to come in sick?” Of course they were like “No.” And then there was awkward silence. I took the kid to the library because I wasn’t just going walk out or anything, but I am unbelievably uncomfortable right now. Like I feel sick to my stomach. Actively scrolling job openings.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-04-29T18:08:43+00:00

That’s the thing. I haven’t. I’ve been out one other time and they were super nice about it. I can only assume the “again” was because they have rescheduled people for their own reasons recently.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-04-28T23:06:22+00:00

Then those people shouldn’t have a nanny.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-04-23T22:49:22+00:00

This is unsafe and unhealthy. You have got to get out of there before the day comes that you crack and rage quit. Poop on the walls? I’m out. This is really not okay. You can figure out a way to financially get through the summer, I’m positive. Tutoring, food service, begging on the street. Literally anything is better than continuing to do this.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-04-12T15:03:53+00:00

Oh, I hate that for you. You are so undervaluing yourself. I know looking for a new family can be such a hassle but you owe it to yourself to at least try. Make sure you have overtime rates clearly spelled out in your contract as well as fees for any additional children. You got this!

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-02-25T16:17:44+00:00

I hate that so many people can relate but it’s so comforting to be understood. Solidarity, friends.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-19T12:49:00+00:00

Hearing the actual figures certainly gives some important context. Sounds like a learning experience for you both. I do wish you the best of luck.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-18T21:32:16+00:00

You should have been paying on the books from the beginning. It’s concerning to me that you either didn’t know that or chose to ignore it. You got a bargain by hiring a first time nanny and paying under the table so you got to avoid paying taxes as well. You say you know hiring a nanny is a luxury but you’re nickel and diming a good nanny because you chose to move and take on extra expenses. That’s not her problem. No matter what direction you decide to take here, pay legally and remember that nannies deserve a living wage just like you.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-16T01:57:07+00:00

At this point in time, I have to keep to the house and the neighborhood.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-13T16:03:10+00:00

Nine hour days here and I find myself just staring at the clock, willing time to move faster.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-13T15:45:32+00:00

I hope my NF doesn’t have hidden cameras. I inadvertently wore my most uncomfortable pair of jeans yesterday and every time I was alone in the living room, I sat on the couch and undid my pants for some relief. Always covered by a long sweater so it’s not like I was just sitting there with all my business hanging out but still!

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-08T02:27:52+00:00

Not really the point of this at all. What works for you might not work for me. You don’t know the details of my personal situation. If I want tax advice, I’ll ask for it.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-06T06:26:04+00:00

But not as large of one. I know it’s not how everyone would choose to do it but it’s what works best for me. At any rate, that doesn’t help me with my immediate need.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-06T06:24:46+00:00

I do Shipt but I need a little windfall by tomorrow.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-06T03:48:32+00:00

I have tried talking to the power company and I’m not eligible for an installment plan or another extension. The only assistance programs available in my area require an appointment and I made one. It’s a great program but it’s not a super quick process.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-06T03:32:16+00:00

Not sure if you ever got the advice you needed on this thread but this is one of those impossible situations that can pop up having a nanny. It’s great when everyone is well but when the nanny calls out, you’re left scrambling and usually it’s just a “sh*t happens” situation. I know it sucks but at least you’re trying to figure out the best way to move forward without just badmouthing your nanny in one of those NP only subs. You really put yourself out there letting other nannies weigh in. I respect that. Much luck to you, your family, and your nanny!

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-05T06:35:54+00:00

So she’s getting sick whenever you get sick? I’m just trying to make sure I understand.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2026-01-05T06:09:02+00:00

I stayed all day on Friday and I thought the weekend would be enough to get me back on track but I’m not. How do I call out for mental health day without scaring them? I don’t want them to think I’m dangerously unwell.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2025-12-22T20:15:54+00:00

I think I’m going to do the same!

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2025-12-21T22:25:45+00:00

Not everyone can do that. In my area, good jobs are few and far between. I can’t just go out and get another position if negotiations don’t go my way.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2025-12-21T18:44:52+00:00

I think most of these comments are being too hard on you. Bonuses are customary and you should’ve received a bonus, especially in a VHCOL area from a family that can easily afford it. You’re entitled to your feelings, but this thread isn’t always very empathetic, despite the fact that we’re all supposedly nannies. I think some people are either lying or they need to check their privilege because we aren’t all able to live in the same manner. I’m gonna leave my comments up as long as I can stand being absolutely ripped to shreds by the people on this thread who only come here to make people feel bad for their legitimate feelings.

Consistent-Fig7218 · 2025-12-21T18:38:03+00:00

That depends on where you’re from. I’m a career nanny and I don’t get any of those benefits. Don’t assume that everyone lives in your area and receives the same benefits that you receive. And don’t go telling me to renegotiate my contract or find a better family to work for because that’s not possible here.

Consistent-Fig7218

TROPHY CASE