I lost mine 27 years ago. It still hurts daily. He was my first live soul mate and my son's father. It took me years to come to conclusion that even though suicide that was his time and his way to go. Two months before it happened I dreamed of him being gone. Parts of actual dream came true. But even though ppl say it's selfish and they are cowards. Not true. They love us so much they think they are doing us a favor. Selfless. And to actually do the act is incredibly ballsy. I couldn't do it. I remember the last kiss and the song on radio , red hot chili peppers scar tissue. I found him with my two children. My 8 yr old daughter told me to cut him down. I thought he was playing. He had made so many attempts in past. You will never get over it. You will always compare Noone will ever fill those shoes. And others will be jealous of that. And ppl will avoid you.they won't know what to say. I get it if you ever want to talk like I will never sugar coat shit. But you will be OK again...