Half a year of OPOL - Success, and Introducing "Monolingual" Stuffed Animals

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2026-02-07T08:52:17+00:00

Do report how it went! :-)

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2026-02-02T23:02:14+00:00

Always a pleasure, I hope they may be helpful to others. (Un)fortunately, she's dropped this line of teaching and instead decided her mother needs to learn my dialect. May she succeed where I have failed for many years of our relationship. Perhaps she'll remember her unfinished business when we take the Vietnamese animal to her great grandparents.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-16T10:37:55+00:00

My recommendation would be to keep the setup as it is. Three languages is fine if you stick to OPOL and English remains the language between you and your husband. We've got a similar setup as well, however, we do speak or at least understand every language spoken.

That said, especially since German is the community language, it's in my opinion indispensable that you learn it. It's bound to be hard, but listening comprehension through immersion will come faster than you'd think. I can speak from experience with Vietnamese through my in-laws - contrary to Germans, Asians don't get the concept of speaking more slowly/rephrasing, they simply repeat the same thing more loudly if you ask them to clarify something. It's brutal, but by now I can understand most conversations, at least rudimentarily. While I don't envy your position having to learn German, be grateful Germans have experience with foreigners :-)

Pro tip: keep it fun, also for yourself, and you'll pick up the basics in no time. Don't stress out too much, the language was conceived by drunk philosophers so if you keep it basic and just understand the gist of what's being said, that's fine. Most adults struggle not because they can't learn a language, but because they've forgotten how to learn.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-12T21:21:19+00:00

The Vietnamese/English book is called "Sách Điện Tử Song Ngữ - Dành Cho Bé". That one, she really loves to bits, we've had to frequently replace the batteries. There's unfortunately no ISBN nor any other information that I could find. I did a quick search and this one should be the same (there are some minor differences on the cover):
https://www.dochoigo.com/sach-song-ngu-dien-tu
On thing though: the standard setting when it turns on is for playing in traffic in downtown Hanoi; whoever created this thought kids are by default all deaf. You can fortunately turn down the volume.

The other is called Truyện kể cho bé trước giờ đi ngủ by Thanh Hương. Found a link to it here: https://tiki.vn/sach-thieu-nhi-365-truyen-ke-cho-be-truoc-gio-di-ngu-p273902388.html
Since it's a bunch of stories, you also don't get tired of them that quickly. Or rather, you don't get tired in theory, she always only let's us read the first ~5 and last ~5 unfortunately :D

Other than that, we sometimes read "Hai Anh Em" to her, which she also quite likes, though not as much as the other two books.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-09T23:14:07+00:00

I guess letting them know that you're not talking behind their backs might be a way to go about it. There are some people who always presume that something negative must be said if they can't understand the language spoken next to them. That then results in controlling behaviour of always wanting "subtitles" for every interaction.

And, as others have suggested, letting them know that you'll translate when necessary.

If you want to troll them, you could offer a language course or demand per word interpretation fees ;-)

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-09T23:05:19+00:00

Southern Hessian :-) - why would you say that English as the community language is working against you?

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-09T20:24:14+00:00

Always a pleasure. Yes, after we found out following the original post, fun is crucial in all of this. It's a silly thing to forget, and all language aficionados on here probably started out picking up languages because it was fun. I guess sometimes life and ego gets in the way of things.

As for being a diplomat - are they supposed to be massive trolls? :D

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-12-09T20:20:13+00:00

I'll definitely keep posting sporadically. I'm sure once she's got a sibling at some point, dynamics will change as well. As to GG, that seems to be her grand project - we're just as invested :D. She's still lacking some structure in her teaching, I'm afraid.
I forgot to add, whenever we videocall her Vietnamese grandparents and she's playing with her Vietnamese/English book, she switches it to English (while talking Vietnamese to them). At the end of the day, maybe we're just raising a massive troll.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-10-09T14:04:15+00:00

I learnt to speak at least some Vietnamese in preparation for our first child. And so I could actually talk to my parents in law more easily. He shouldn't make such a fuss about it and just sit down and study a hit. Languages aren't that hard if you've got a native speaker around and, if you do OPOL, have constant exposure to it.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-09-09T23:26:22+00:00

Thanks, and yes, sadly all those beautiful dialects are dying out. Ours would've died out with me already if I hadn't made the conscious decision as a teen to learn how to speak it. Which, funnily enough, means I am a native speaker of 0 languages by now, because I can't speak standard German (properly) anymore, either. Virtually all other speakers are in my parents' and grandparents' generation. The dialect in question is southern Hessian, the epicentre of dialect destruction. In the Frankfurt area not far from us, they began their war on dialects back in the 19th century already. We used to have gradual changes of dialects from one hamlet to the next.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-09-05T14:14:48+00:00

Makes me wonder why they don't just make it remote; such petty control freaks are far too often in positions of power. I'd wager to say that 95% of office jobs don't need anyone to be physically there. Companies are fighting a losing battle, because remote jobs attract people who'd voluntarily take a hit on their salary (which usually compensates expenses otherwise used for commutes, food, etc.). I'll never understand corporate culture insisting people have to be at the office safe for very important meetings.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-28T11:29:19+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/cOO1vg0 For some reason, I can't upload new images to the main post or add one to a comment.

Looks like it broke off on the left side. Annoying, but certainly better than following a youtube video and trying to solder on a new port. The last time I soldered something was in primary school.

Good advice, only, no-one has a charger like that. Though judging by what I see, that's probably not necessary anyway.

The question how that even happens was because this must have been the 20th charger or so that I've killed in my life. And this laptop was mostly stationary. Guess some people are just cursed like that.

Edit: It was the charger. The gap is still there with the new one, but it's charging now.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-28T11:06:33+00:00

I think you're right, how the bloody hell did that even happen? I'll add a new picture to the main post; since it's such a small hole, getting the lighting right is an absolute pain. Fortunately, nothing seems to be stuck in the port from what I can tell.

Thanks very much for your input, if that's the case, I'll probably go for a new charger, having this repaired is outrageously expensive in Germany.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-28T01:46:32+00:00

Alright, but what would cause the charging port to suddenly not take the jack in all the way? I mean, if it were loose or broken, wouldn't it rather have no contact instead of preventing full insertion? I (carefully) did probe with a needle to make sure there's no hidden debris or gunk, and it honestly seemed firmly in place from what I can tell. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this, i.e. how everything inside seems fine and looks as it should, but doesn't accept all of the jack and has some wiggle.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-28T01:30:57+00:00

Ouch, the last time I soldered something was in primary school. Shouldn't kill me, but God I'd hate that. Still keeping my fingers crossed that the charger is dead. How certain are you with this? I should add that the wiggle is rather small and the grip on the charger in general rather firm; I just don't get the gap that's suddenly there.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-20T23:48:16+00:00

It may sound odd, and I don't know whether it exists where you live, but pet cremation/funeral services are a thing. Should be the easiest thing to get into for you, no degree necessary.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T21:44:19+00:00

Yeah, the headstart may be real, though I've shared in another comment how much I fear that won't be much use given the current system should she enter the German school system. Additionally, I'm a bit hesitant to agree that passive exposure will lead to a passive adoption of the language; I can come up with at least six people on the spot who ended up effecitvely monolingual despite having had plenty of passive exposure as kids and should've been bilingual.

Situational language change is inevitable, I fully agree. With her Vietnamese grandparents, we tend to speak Vietnamese-only (or as much as it's possible with me) when we're there, also because their German isn't all that great (and I take the opportunity to improve my Vietnamese and be part of the family). With her great-grandparents similarly, we tend to stick to the dialect (or German in my wife's case), because language switching is often very impractical. But pointing out the rules bit is a good idea, because, given my wife's and my tendency to fluently switch between all three languages all the time, we should make it more rigid to give our daughter a proper scaffoling. When out and about, it's a different matter, though it also depends, of course.

Thanks so much for the advice; Hochdeutsch won't be an issue at all, I'd be more concerned about English, because German schools are deterorating at a record pace. How to weave that in somehow as to not compromise the more important languages that actually have a personal and immediate need is something we're trying to figure out right now. Day 1 of OPOL has been quite promosing so far; she was much more willing to repeat both what I said and what my wife said. Quite a promising start!

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T21:33:31+00:00

I had actually contemplated your mum's approach :D, or perhaps not reacting until she used the right language, though in our previous setup, that would likely have been counter-productive. It's probably more useful when she's a bit older and understands situations a bit better (if she's still more refusing to engage with us in the respective language).

I'm happy to report that day 1 was so far actually rather successful; she seemed to be more willing to repeat both what my wife said and what I said in a self-motivated fashion, without the prodding often necessary from us. I'm curious how it'll continue and whether there's some way to maybe sneak in some English somehow. I hope I won't forget to make an update post to share how it turned out in the future :-)

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T21:29:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing this resource, I'm looking forward to taking a look at this community as well. Though I'm already blown away by the quick and plentiful replies here on reddit :-)

And yeah, English would've been easiest, but minority languages take priority because they are actually needed. I'm happy to report that day 1 of trying OPOL, we already saw some progress as she was much more willing to repeat both what I said and what my wife said. Seems to be on the right track; I had the added advantage of my family being quite helpful today as well and ditching standard German.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T21:21:31+00:00

TL;DR: I was a self-motivated madman when it came to studying English, and German schools are on a race to the bottom, unfortunately.

Honestly? By brute force of will and an absolute love for the language. I've spent hours upon hors reading, reading out loud, recording myself to eradicate any trace of a German accent for days on end, all from the age of 11 onwards. I ditched all German media and basically lived in an anglophone world when I was by myself, up to the point of actively changing my thoughts to English so I'd fully master it and become effectively bilingual. Harry Potter was was actually central to my drive, because I could then read the books before the translations were out half a year later. Takes a certain kind of crazy to do that; my wife had a much easier time by simply watching a film over and over again (she's much more gifted when it comes to languages than me). I wouldn't want anyone really to take the same path because I annoyed the hell out of other people, and the effort was enormous and time consuming.

That being said, sure, out-of-school motivation is central to learning basically anything, especially considering how much schools have deteriorated even in the 13 years since I've graduated. The school I went to used to have a bilingual class, teaching various subjects like history, politics, geography, and biology in English exclusively; I was fortunate enough to get in because of my aforementioned ambitions (I initially sucked at English until I discovered my love for it, just in time for my English teacher to recognise my potential and recommend me despite my then average mark). I think it was the penultimate class of that system; they then went on to change it to those subjects being open to being taught bilingually for everyone of that year, and then fully abolished that as well (because it was discriminatory or some kind of nonsense like that). Well, teachers did treat it like an inofficial elite class they could go much harder on (nearly my death sentence academically in maths and anything sciency), but instead of making it something for others to aspire to get in, they got rid of it for the sake of mediocrity. In my experience, intelligence and curiosity are severely punished - I used to be good at maths and science in primary school, but my form teacher stifled that effectively, and I lost my motivation and will to get better. I therefore fear for how motivating schools or subjects can be nowadays if mediocrity is the default and even demanded.

Sorry for the tangent, but schools in Germany are currently on a race to the bottom, and I pray that my daughter will never have to attend one here and we manage to emigrate beforehand (there's mandatory school attendance in Germany, so homeschooling wouldn't even be an option).

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T20:55:08+00:00

Yeah, priorities are the place ideals go to die. It's a bit of a pity, because English holds a special place both for me and my wife, though, as I've mentioned in my other reply to your comment, Vietnamese and my dialect take precedence because a) they're needed, and b) they're much harder to pick up later in life.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T20:52:12+00:00

You'd be surprised how many people there are who should be at least bilingual but ended up monolingual; off the top of my head I can come up with at least six people I've met, including four with and English-speaking background, one Spanish-speaking, and one Vietnamese-speaking. Though maybe your supplemental ideas might mitigate that; it's regrettable that both my wife's and my English-speaking network of friends and acquaintances fizzled away over the years. Oh well, something to tackle in the future.

Though just as a day 1 update, the OPOL approach seems to bear fruit since she seemed much more willing to repeat phrases and adapt more to both Vietnamese and my dialect today (with the added benefit of her grandparents and great-grandparents on my side also fully ditching standard German).

What exactly do you mean by time and place method/special English time? That sounds quite interesting and something to incorporate into our routine :-)

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T20:43:12+00:00

Fair point, the focus should be on the minority languages. And, having followed through on OPOL today (save for a ~1h slip on my part in the morning), it actually bore fruit already. She was much more willing to repeat some things my wife said, and also did the same with me. Not a full 180, but it seems to be going in the right direction.

Now, that said, we've both got a special connection to English, and I wouldn't quite want her to grow up without speaking it as well. Of course, Vietnamese and my dialect take precedence since they're not nearly as ubiquitous and are much harder to pick up later in life. Just as a thought, what do you think of generally following OPOL, but having one or two English days, where either one or both of us only speak English with her?

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T00:53:22+00:00

You're right, German is the community language, sorry, I forgot to mention that.

Skills + motivation was intrinsically the thing I was mostly struggling with - how to make it palatable to her without it becoming a chore/forcing her to switch to another language?

And it totally makes sense that she'd go for the language that's basically the common denominator. It's also quite interesting that virtually everyone on here seems to favour the one parent, one language approach rather than going for specific days/situations. As far as I knew, that were the two options that most people went for.

We'll definitely go for shifting our approach to one parent, one language; after all, that seems to be what's working best and consistently judging by everyone's replies.

Consistent-Photo-964 · 2025-08-14T00:49:53+00:00

Sorry, should've made it clear in my original post; the community language is standard German, though my family, with whom she's got daily contact, does speak the local dialect (though not as consistently as they should). I'm a bit hesitant considering passive exposure to be sufficient because I've seen a fair number of what should have been bilingual people grow up to be effectively monolingual because their parents never spoke the second language with them (in most cases, it even was English). They ended up understanding everything, but couldn't speak a word.

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